this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
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[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 141 points 4 months ago (8 children)

it happens in movies because it happens in real life too. when in crisis, often there is sense of loss of control or autonomy. for most, something that can provide an outlet for such a frustration is one’s appearance. and, while men do too, women broadly tend to have the more intimate relationship with their hair. so: haircut (or hair dye, or both).

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 68 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Can confirm the guy side of this. Have shaved my head in moments of crisis. Not something I consciously considered before doing it. Just felt... Idk, claustrophobic and needed to do something.

Also, when my mom was in the hospital last year, had I been able to get in with one, I would've had a tattoo by the time she got out.

[–] Kyatto@leminal.space 31 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I've done it before too, lowest point in my life, just grabbed some scissors and cut down my long hair :(

A little upsetting to see people calling it a trope, when it is a real reaction to trauma :/

[–] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 34 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Tropes can absolutely be based in reality. A trope is simply a commonly used stylistic device or convention in media. Sometimes it's commonly used because reality just works that way. There nothing inherently cheap about it.

Cutting the hair short as a trope tells us that the character is in an extremely stressful or even traumatic situation and is trying to regain a sense of control. That's a complex situation but can be told in seconds by relating to actual reality.

It's not a trope in reality but it is one when used to convey a characters emotional state in a story.

[–] Damage@feddit.it 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

As confirmed by the "Real Life" section on tvtropes pages

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 15 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Also guy here, did this as well.

But uh, mainly because I literally cannot get to a haircut place. Been functionally hobbled for 6 months, car got stolen, don't know anybody nearby with a car, no public transit, lyft or uber + a hair cut each month is actually pretty pricey when you are living on disability, waiting for public housing.

Been ordering delivery groceries for a while now, added a buzz trimmer to it this month.

At the rate my hair grows, it'll be back to roughly the length I usually keep it at by the time my PT regimen gets me back into 'normal' shape (probably another 6 months).

So sure, I am in what most people would probably consider a crisis, but it makes practical sense too.

Either way, cutting your hair hair is literally a more healthy way to directly exert what little amount of control you have over yourself... but it is, at least in my experience, far more socially ostracizing than cutting yourself.

Not counting me cutting my own hair, I have know several people in my life who have done both or either of these.

When people cut themselves and this is noticable, people who care at all will be concerned and try to talk to them, suggest therapy. They receive more care and attention.

When someone takes all their hair off? They'll be treated as if they are completely insane, should be avoided and are suspect, and/or are dangerous and should be institutionalized.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 6 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Hitting the nail on the head in that last paragraph.

Also, I'm sorry. That's a shitty situation. It's wildly unl unlikely, but if you happen to be in east TN, I have a car and don't mind taxi-ing a Lemming in need

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[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I have full sleeve tattoos that started as piecemeal trauma tattoos. I get it.

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm still highly considering a tattoo, but now in a much more stable place, so my needle phobia is helping keep my canvas blank lol

[–] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 3 points 4 months ago (5 children)

I really don't like needles, but I've found that I really just don't like them

INSIDE MY BODY INSIIIIDE ME OUT OUT OUT

and I really enjoyed getting my tattoo other than the mild amounts of pain. I still love it.

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[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Also hair is uncontrollable and gets everywhere if you let it. If you are already stressed, then you can literally get annoyed by your hair existing on your head doing its thing.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 13 points 4 months ago

yes! i wanted to mention this, that hair can be a sensory overload problem too so cutting hair can just be a way to optimize sensory performance in a state of stress as well. but i forgot so thanks for the reminder!

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[–] Dearth@lemmy.world 51 points 4 months ago (2 children)

As a guy with audhd and long hair, when life gets extra tough, cutting all my hair off is simple way to remove extra self-care steps from my life. This allows me to focus on other more pressing tasks. And it's completely reversible

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[–] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.world 45 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

Speaking as a man with no hair now -- it's very freeing. It is physically cool, it is less bullshit to deal with. No waking up & being like, ooo, gotta work with my fucking hair. Others are saying it's autonomy & control, probably not wrong, but it's also just plain smart. Practical.

Also a defensive strategy. If the hair is kept short, people can't grab you by the hair & force your head around. Yank your head back & slit your throat.

Name the phenomenon... No hair don't care. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I'm a dude who grew his hair out because it's less work to deal with. Just pull it back and I'm good to go. When it's short my hair is totally unruly.

Though when it starts thinning too much I'm going full Kratos.

[–] CoffeeJunkie@lemmy.cafe 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Okay there you go, if it looks good by all means keep it going. Even if it looks bad, it's your life, not mine...

Word to the wise, my male friends with ponytails have reported (same as women) don't make that damn ponytail too tight!! Headaches. And it will strain your hair, cause excess thinning, damage. Again, so they say, no personal experience. Oh & if/when you embrace bald: handheld skull shavers are simply amazing. It's great to have one around!

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Yep, I switched from standard hair ties to scrunchies a few years ago since they put a lot less stress on the hair. Plus they're colorful and fun.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

laissez hair

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 41 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Trauma cut, a distancing from the identity that experienced trauma

[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago

Good enough for Max Payne, good enough for me.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 40 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm not a doctor or psychologist. I'm also aware that I'm replying to a greentext, but hear me out.

I think it's simply "exercising agency and bodily autonomy." Being able to modify one's own body is a way to establish that you have the most basic form of control over yourself and your environment. It can help arrest the sensation of being out of control or under complete control of outside forces; an answer to feeling totally vulnerable. Cutting your hair off is an easy and quasi-socially-acceptable way to do this.

Were you not able to do this somehow, of your own volition, you're probably in a very bad way and have much bigger problems to solve.

[–] DumbAceDragon@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 months ago

Could also be that in a life or death scenario having your hair in the way of your sight isn't beneficial

[–] Draegur@lemm.ee 23 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

i haven't named it but always considered it "the sudden awareness that i do not want an easy to grasp handle on my head that someone could grab me by if i'm under attack"

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 22 points 4 months ago
[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 19 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] TunaCowboy@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago
[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Not at all a woman only thing, and it's even been portrayed in movies by men, for example the suicide attempt scene in The Royal Tannenbaums.

[–] MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Greg Universe also cut his hair off during a crisis situation.

[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 5 points 4 months ago

And that's a person or a thing!

[–] lath@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Short or no hair means better ventilation, which speeds up neuron activation.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I've grown my my hair out and chopped it off several times. Maybe it's some woo-woo psychic antenna thing, or maybe it's the psychosomatic effect of the physical weight and inertia tugging on your scalp, but either way, each chop came with a feeling of emotional distance from the world. An almost immediate aloofness.

[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago

Bro became a monk

[–] paultimate14@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

As a guy with long hair I did this once.

First breakup. We were both young and toxic to each other, and let the other be toxic.

After some reflection I cut my hair for a variety of reasons.

I've seen the studies and speculation that it's a control thing, related to exercising bodily autonomy. Personally I don't feel like this was part of my decision. This might be more of a gendered thing- I felt like growing my hair as a cis male in the first place was already exercising my bodily autonomy and defying society's expectations around me. I was somewhat hesitant to cut it because it felt like giving up, conforming to what others wanted me to be.

One was just that I was in college for business degrees- I always kind of knew my career would be better off with short hair anyways. Once I graduated, got a job, and got established at my company I grew my hair long again. It's still long now, probably longer than it was originally.

Another was that I wanted to be a different person. I looked back on who I was in that relationship and thought hard about who I wanted to become. While on a vacuum I preferred the long hair, and I objectively knew my hair could stay the same while my personality changed, on a subjective level I think yhe change helped. It was a visual boundary in time- when I go back and look at pictures of myself it's very easy and obvious to see that change. It helped me to think about my long-haired self as the "old me"- younger, less experienced, more raw and flawed.

Another was the emotional connection between her and my hair. While I liked the long hair and grew it before we had started dating, she really liked my long hair too. It hurt to have the same hair she used to run her fingers through swinging in front of my face. So in a sense, cutting my hair felt like cutting my connection to her.

Finally, I also started growing my beard. I had always wanted facial hair, but she didn't like it so I shaved. This seemed like a good opportunity to see what I could grow, but having long hair AND a beard seemed like a lot at the time. Now I have both of course.

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I've been watching Battlestar Galactica (2004) and noticed a case of the opposite. It makes sense in context, but it's an inversion of the trope. (And when things went back to normalish she cut it short again)

[–] CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I thought that wasn’t a choice but instead because she wasn’t allowed sharp objects. A symbol of her being forced to do things she wouldn’t normally do. But maybe I’m misremembering. I do remember the dinner scene but it’s hard to cut your hair properly by yourself with scissors much less a steak knife.

edit: I was incorrect, she had chosen to grow her hair out before that situation occurred. Time for a rewatch!

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah, it was a result of the situation - like I said, makes sense in context. Just a counterexample that happened to be fresh in my mind

Edit: Actually the long hair happened before the crisis Really started, when her location changed (I'm trying to avoid spoilers to some degree) so I do think it was initially a choice, but that does mean it only vaguely fits the trope until it was not a choice.

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[–] Taokan@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 months ago

I always assumed there was some tradition to cutting your hair short before going to war, because long hair would present numerous liabilities - more maintenance, potential visibility issues, potential to foil cover/disguise, and potential vulnerability in hand to hand combat. And there is a lot of military tradition to a short haircut, though I'm not sure how much is based on the above reasoning. But I'm not a historian so maybe this is just a bad interpretation of Mulan or a random teacher passing on low quality education.

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago

It's called "not getting scalped"

[–] thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

I'm a dude with long hair, long hair is a burden. It fucks up your vision, can be irritating, requires lots of maintenance. When you are under pressure for any reason id say it's nice for it to just be gone

[–] Biotron1@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

It's called a french woman in 1945

[–] yamanii@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

I'm surprised the screenshot is from a movie or something because I only noticed this in anime and thought it was a japan thing.

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