GottiGoFast

I thought the move to lemmy was like a linux/server thing (I am not mainframe literate). I read the message saying "you are not logged in, sign up with a Fediverse account" and thought it was a bit about how the feds lurk this site.

I somehow avoided all this lemmy talk up until seven days ago.

From what I could decipher (George Lucas has really bad handwriting), during Anakin Skywalker's podracing thing, there was this alien trying to walk with his family but the racing thing was in the way. He yelled "hey, I'm glorping here!" Soon after Anakin, while his vision was briefly impaired, runs over and kills the alien's family. It's to be noted that Lucas purposely never gives this alien a name in this book. He just refers to him as the "man with no name". Tragic stuff.

So then during a time skip you see the alien with a sniper rifle look deeply into the scope of his gun. You see a lone jedi. The trigger gets pulled and all the alien says is "shitto". He comes down to monologue to the dying jedi and begins to harvest their blood. More than half of the pages I could gather was literally just Glorp Shitto sniping jedi knights, saying shitto, and collecting the blood for midi-chlorians. It accumulates in him replacing his blood with jedi blood to use the force. Intense stuff.

Lucas states that he never intended for viewers to view him as a murderer, and how killing jedi is not productive to the plan because that just makes them martyrs. No, Glorp Shitto's true plan was to use the force to mess with jedi's organs so that they shit their pants.

Forced public shitting. That's why his catchphrase is "shitto". It's like poetry, it rhymes. Shakespearian stuff.

So much of the rest of the pages is him going across the galaxy and making every jedi shit their pants in very public places. The jedi council devotes all their time and energy to stopping this. By focusing so much on trying to save their public image, they let fascism blossom. They send Anakin to stop the shitter and Glorp Shitto knows he is going to die but doesn't care because he made the person that slaughtered his family shit his pants and jedi robes. He used all the force he was able to muster in order to make a shit explosion. Just like when he was little, Anakin was again blinded, but this time it was with his own shit. Using the force to choke him out, the alien's last words were, "I got the last glorp".

I fucking hate tankies and so should you, these are the steps to wreck them in internet battle.

Step 1: Mention Star Trek. Tankies love this shit. It's one of the only things that give them joy. They call it "communism in space". Trust me, they go feral for this shit.

Step 2: Ask them if they like the original stuff. They should say yes, because it's pre-9/11 Trek and that makes it valid.

Step 3: Put on some Jojo music because this is when they begin to lose.

Step 4: Tell them that the original Star Trek film was actually the first movie tie-in with McDonald's Happy Meal. This is the ultimate sin because Mickey D's and their "happy" meal is everything all factions of tankies hate. This would retcon Star Trek as unbased and capitalist cringe.

Step 5: The targeted tankie gets depressed that they can no longer have TTG play in the background in their life. They get so depressed, they stop bullying you online.

Step 6: This is how you stop tankies online

I can't. Every fucking night they come and bother me about "posting hog posting hog". I don't even know what that means nowadays. I hide myself under the sheets but that only makes them come closer. "Pig poop balls pig poop balls". LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. I'm tired of hearing about this pig shit. Every day, my head bumping and pulses about posting hog. I can't think. I can barley breathe. They come to me at my work. Pull me aside. Show me pictures of pigs with oversized balls with shit on top of them. I can't take it no more. My eyes feel unclean. If pork if unclean than so is the ball of pig I tell myself. I rub isopropyl alcohol onto my eyes just to get the filth of hog out, only then I feel clean.

They mock me. Tell me "oink oink" "post hog oink oink". Every fucking day I almost die from drowning in the hog.

After all we gave them, why? We give a them the pizza. We give a them the Super Mario. We give a them the pepperoni. We give a them the baked ziti. We give a them the pasta. We give a them the meatball sub. We give a them the meatball. We give a them the Goodfellas. We give a them the Luigi's Mansion. We give a them the Da Vinci. We give a them the Wario Land. We give a them the Wario Ware. We give a them the unlimited breadsticks. We give a them the Psycho Waluigi. We give a them the stuffed crust. We give a them the Godfather 1 AND the 2. We give a them cannoli. We give a them garlic knots. We give a them Sopranos on the HBO. We give a them John Travolta's Gotti. We give a them the risotto. We give a them the pizza part from Chuck E. Cheese. We give a them everything and yet they pay us back with racist hand gestures. Mama mia.

People finally start to be nice and empathic to Homelander until he completely learns the error of his ways and becomes Hopelander. Hopelander understands that capitalism created all these problems, and now he's going to use capitalism to fix them.

A percentage of the profits of each purchase of Vought merchandise will go to constructing a highspeed flying lane that wraps around the world. Hopelander will use this to fly super duper fast, changing the rotation of the earth and thus going back in time. He will go back far enough to make sure capitalism is an even stronger global force. With enough capitalism, evil will be gone for good. This feat will cause him to sacrifice himself. While the dramatic scene is happening, the song Hallelujah is playing (SNL version).

Apperently, this cop, Justin Dodge, shot and killed a man during a drug bust. After the man dropped his gun and put his hands over his head, Justin proceeded to shoot him multiple times, killing him.

Looks like Mr. Dodge should do a better job at dodging

Another crakkka down

He is evil and communist, not something to awooga over. Che directly killed thousands of people, indirectly, millions, maybe even trillions.

Learn before you lust smh

:what-the-hell: