Programmer Humor
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
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Needs more hoodie and random text and numbers being projected onto his face.
THIS ACTION IS NOT ALLOWED
> OVERRIDE
ACCESS GRANTED
No, no, first you need to reroute, to be able to patch it through, and THEN you can override the command sequence in order to exploit parallelisms at the core root interface.
IDE, Sata, NVMe HDD, with an adequate PSU for the GPU. Stat!
movie about hackers comes out and is extremely realistic
It's 16 hours long and mostly just of a dude sitting at a computer typing code
It bombs at the box office.
One of the funnier ones is that the matrix actually did hacking right. It was also so quick you don't notice it.
When Trinity hacks into the power station, it's legit. She checks the software version, which shows an out of date version. She then uses a known flaw in that version to reset the password.
It's the only bit of actual hacking in the movie. They obviously knew that geeks would be checking it frame by frame, so they actually did their homework on it.
Hackers shows "real hacking" in the form of social engineering, dumpster diving for passwords, as well as the bit about the pay phones that, once was true if maybe not by the time the movie came out.
https://lemmy.sdf.org/comment/7438870
And it was actually 0day when the production company made the scene...
Hacking is really a "montage" type activity, but is treated as something you can show in real time.
Like, imagine the A-Team building some weapon out of spare parts but you had to watch the entire build process including measuring, cutting, screwing up the cut, throwing away the part and trying again...
Or, imagine a martial arts film where the hero trains for the big fight... and you include the entire training regimen, showing them getting up at 6am each day to do sit-ups, then following the entire morning run...
Really a hacking sequence should have those zoomed-in calendars with days flipping by and getting crossed out.
If they really need the hack to be in the critical path of the action, it should only be something like:
Boss: We need to hack the satellite!
Hacker: What model is it?
Boss: It's a... let me see... KU-STRZ-4 out of Azerbaijan.
Hacker: A 4-series? We're in luck, NSA's been sitting on a exploit for that model.
Otherwise it's as stupid as:
Boss: We need to defeat Scar Killer in the Kumite tomorrow.
Soldier: I did some basic unarmed combat in boot camp, but...
Boss: You have 24 hours, get training!
Next day, the soldier is massively jacked and is throwing flip kicks etc.
I've love to watch a realistic hacker movie, because the shit that hackers get into is genuinely bonkers. For example, some white hats got all the way into Apple's inventory system and IIRC they could've disrupted all of Apple's logistics. Imagine if a black hat got into that. Or the Ukrainian hackers that got into the taxation system of the Russians and were there for a few months. Or the USAians who got into the biggest Belgian telecom and were kicked out years later by a Dutch security company.
Movies or even better TV series showing the time it takes to get into such systems would be amazing. Day 1 phishing, day 40 established beachhead, day 120 gained access to internal system X, day 121 triggered internal alarm and was nearly discovered but was able to cover up traces, etc.
Nobody watches 90 minutes of football matches. Everyone watches the highlights and that's what movies could be too.
Nobody watches 90 minutes of football matches
Um...
I guess tens of millions of people count as nobody.
Unless they don't mean American football. That Jacks the number up to probably over 1b
There’s a podcast called Darknet Diaries you might like. Skip the first year or so and start after that.
Mr. Robot was fairly good at the realism, and even there it was mostly just good for jokes like this:
I could even imagine such a movie being titled "Highlight Reel."
Don't forget 6 hours of digging through the garbage behind the business they want to hack.
Be sure to wear a hoodie in a dark room so that you can hack faster.
Don't forget the green font.
With blue lettering projected onto your face, even though it doesn't match what is on the monitor in front of you.
and it has to scroll so fast that nobody can read it.
But, make sure that if you pause it, it's part of the Linux kernel source -- the most hacker-seeming stuff out there.
sudo apt-get update
*im in!
vim
How do I get out?!
-Esc twice
-:wq
-:q!
-kill the process
-fuck it pull the plug
-put a bomb in the power station that powers your house
-have a cosmic ray randomly bitflip vim's internal logic making it quit
ZZ
journalctl
I'm in!
Maybe we took it out of context, maybe they mean that they are logged into their own computer 😂
Look, it's got full disk encryption and I'm very forgetful.
FWIW, Little known fact: Matrix 2 used real vuln (SSH CRC32) for trinity power grid hacking scene.
Even better to know: the scene was completed before the CRC32 vuln was public. So the scene used real 0day vuln...
At least in Mr Robot they talk about real stuff
Mr. Robot was the best depiction of hacking I can think of. It was fairly realistic while being entertaining too. It shows that anybody who actually wanted to be realistic in a hacking movie could do it, they just choose not to.
That's because actual hacking is actually pretty boring, from an external viewpoint at least.
One of the reasons I love WarGames is that it shows the hacker character actually doing his homework to figure out the correct credentials to get into the system.
Sneakers is really good about this too. The majority of the movie shows them doing real world research and social engineering.
For how much fun NCIS was to watch it also was such a groan whenever the "code" sequences came up
~~Hackers~~ Porn-Actors
me when i connect to an ssh server
The main reason I never got into Slow Horses was its utterly ridiculous stereotype of the “computer boffin”. It was so cack-handed it was almost hard to believe.
Excuse me while I transition my terminal to green
What about DJ Qualls in "The Core"?
While being interrogated in his introduction sequence, he casually folds an aluminum chewing gum wrapper, puts it to his lips and kinda whistles with it for a second, while holding a cell phone in front of his mouth. After this little public display of phreaking, he hands the cell phone over to the hero and says "Here... now you can call anywhere free for life with it".