TwatWaffle McDunceland
this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2025
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Whatever the Cherokee word for "stolen land" is.
Truly the English specialty: stealing stuff from other people.
United States of Native America
Rename it to Mexico. Then the whole gulf of mexico situation is fixed.
Muskland. Quickly so we can start a fight.
Eagleland
I played far too much Earthbound.
As Amerigo is the Italianized version of the German 'Emmerich', is call it like that.
Bonus is that there is a very unassuming German border town called thusly.
OK hear me out: It should be named after the first European explorer to discover it and popularize the European expansion: Christopher Columbus.
- Like its namesake, the nation too is racist, cruel and genocidal. Even the Spanish Inquisition era Catholics were like, damn Christopher!
- Like the largest exporter of cocaíne in South America, it too is full of drugs, and its elections are the plaything of big money cartels and foreign powers.
- It was mostly settled by white people from England.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you your new nation: British Columbia.
Hank D. Hamburgers Electric Freedom Gun-Republic
~~Republuc~~ llc
The Adjacent States of Denial
Stolidus
- It sounds strong and powerful
- It's Latin, and therefore properly awesome.
- It's definition is: foolish, absurd, dumb, forceless, powerless
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United mcstatesface
The Land of the Flee while you still can
Staties McStatyface
Oooh a contest to name the country, most votes wins!
I'll set up the 1-900 number, just $10 to submit your vote.
Serious answer: the Viking settlers named the land "Vinland" long before Columbus was even born. That name is of Germanic origin, same as the English language, and would be appropriate for settlers of Germanic origin (England, Germany, etc.)
Alternatively, a name in ~~the~~ a Native American language would be most appropriate given that they were the original inhabitants of the land.
they were the original inhabitants of the land.
Nope. Third, apparently, and counting.
The pirates of yore were based on an old fraternity from the 1300s and before, that called this land - no lie - Merica.
what in gods name are you blathering about?
A name in the Native American language
There is no single native American language. There are over 200 of them, and used to be around 300-400, in 57 different families and over two dozen completely isolated languages (which might not be, but it's hard to find out). And they'd likely be at the very least somewhat mutually culturally insensitive.
So that might be even more difficult than using English, which at least has the benefit of being popular now.
Vinland is Newfoundland, I'm afraid! It's not generally thought that the Norse made it as far south in the Americas as the modern day contiguous USA
Sounds a lot like Finland doesn't it? I believe if our name is on it then it's ours!
Listen. I know you said no wrong answers but unfortunately due to the past few decades of the American Political system, pretty much anything is now effectively accurate. Even such things as:
- The Divided States of America
- McMilitary Industrial Complex
- The Paycheck-to-Paycheck Republic
- Red vs Blue
- Gilded Ruins
- AmeriKKKa
- Walmartistan
- Gunlandia
- Yeehaw Reich
- Methlehem
- Debtlandia
- Live, Laugh, Lawsuit
Trade names with the Gulf and become the United States of Mexico.
That’s just Mexico’s actual name
A not-insignificant amount of the USA was Mexico, at one time.
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South Canada
Clown Country
Given the religious fervor throughout its history, how about naming it after an ancient biblical region?
Transjordan?
Wait. Shit, that won't work, even Jordan's gone woke. Maybe something else in the region?
OH! How about Gilead!?
Sodom. From the story of Sodom & Gommorah, but I would choose the name based on a passage from Ezekiel.
"This was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy."
Except Transjordan isn't biblical. It's the region of Palestine that became The Kingdom of Jordan. As opposed to Cisjordan, which is the region that became Israel and the present Palestine.
But I don't think we're allowed to say cis anymore. /s
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Brawndoland
President Camacho would be a marked improvement.
United States of Lee (after General Robert Lee)
New motto
All For Me and None For Thee
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Dumbfuckistan
united states of fuck you, i got mine.
Donald Trump’s Best, Biggest Country in the World, the Biggest, Juiciest Country there is, you know it, folks, No Illegals Allowed, No Fentanyl, All the Guns! And Covfefe!
American States of Maga
And yes, it is infinitely recursive.
Bonerland
Whatever the natives decide on tbh. Turtle island is popular but applies to the continent not the country
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