Look, fat
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
Poor kids are just as bright and talented as white kids
If you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black
We're gonna cure cancer
We finally beat Medicare
Poor kids are just as bright and talented as white kids
This is the one that gets me every time
Keep the record player on while they sleep!
"At least 3"
This one's my favorite. Any excerpt from the Corn Pop story would qualify as a close second.
Stole my answer
The made up anecdote of him seeing two gay men kissing when Biden was a kid and his dad telling him "love is love" is very good too
Look fat, I invented allyship, alright?
America is a nation that can be defined in a single word: I was in the foot— foot— excuse me, in the foothills of the Himalayas with Xi Jinping
Here's how I remember hearing it: "I've long said, America is a nation that can be defined in a single word...... ..... futeutuetpoetpeutefutedpbbth -- in the foothills of the Himalayas with Jinping..."
I agree with Joe, Americans should resolve their differences at the battle box.
can't forget the stories about the uncle he falsely claims was eaten by cannibals in Papua New Guinea
For some reason I had thought this was RFK. More on-brand.
"Joe Biden is a rabid dog, he should be beaten to death with a stick"
smh the hexbear algorithm is censoring this by putting it at the very bottom
"If you like what you see, help me out; if not, you can vote for the other Biden."
It's accidentally a very good comment on US democracy
Vote for Hunter instead.
God, could my dad drive a car
That's a real quote? Jesus I thought hexbear made that up
Wild, right?
“stand up” (to person in wheelchair)
unintelligible
his last honest statement "nothing will fundamentally change"
”You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier” is a good one, because it's clearly something his mushy brain came up, even though he claimed it's from a John Wayne movie 
”Four more years. Pause.” is an actual joke from Naked Gun.
”Raprock Obama”
How has no one posted "I'm Irish" to the BBC asking for a comment? It's my favorite hands down
I loved it when he talked about how Aunt Gertie was great at scratching backs and could make better rice pudding than the Greeks.
Just the fact that he hints at obscure dead relatives and white ethnic stuff like that makes it sound like one of those rambling stories my mom would tell me about growing up in the Bronx with her extended family.
Also the time he said "God save the Queen, man." He just said it out of nowhere.
America can be summed up in a single word: asfljsdhflkjasd.
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
Vote for the other Biden
So, thank you all. God bless you all. And let’s go — let’s go la- — lick the world. Let’s get it done. Thank you. (Applause.)
sounds like something on Rick & Morty
In America, we resolve our differences at the Battle Box
Personally I like "Presinauld Trunt"
I still want to hear him say it
Joetilda vs the Truntbull
huvubuduhba
honorary mention to 
'I trust you as far as i can throw your camera. I have a very good arm'
Hold it right there corn pop
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I'm a fan of the extended silences
“The younger generation now tells me how tough things are—give me a break…No, no, I have no empathy for it, give me a break."
Havudabuhbuh
“They used to bang their straight razors on the curb, put 'em in the rain barrel to get 'em rusty, remember that?"
And, by the way,
"You know the thing" is part of my everyday speech when I don't remember something completely
corn pop was a bad dude
"And now I want to hand it over to the president of Ukraine, who has as much courage as he has determination, ladies and gentlemen, President Putin," Biden said, referring to Zelenskiy.
While correcting himself about two seconds later, Biden added: "President Putin, you're going to beat President Putin, President Zelenskiy. I am so focused on beating Putin."
This one has a lot of charm - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-KTO8CvdJk&t=2071s
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