(I’m so sorry, I don’t know where to post this, but I felt like confessing this as related to my possible Narcissism)
Maybe I could post this at a Discussion, Rant, or Advice community, but for now I’ll just post here. As a follow-up to my “Why am I only friends with weird people?” post, I must admit that (possibly?) as a result of being neurodivergent, I can’t help but view people as objects.
When something I do is considered “wrong” or “bad”, I genuinely don’t consider it morally wrong at all. I only know it’s wrong because someone told me it is, and if their telling me that doesn’t benefit me in some way, I tend to blame them and see them as acting irrationally.
I call my friends useless and horrible, and I really have no guilt/remorse or sympathy about that. I feel like I can treat them however I want without much remorse. In fact, I feel like most of the time, I’m right to treat people this way.
I only say this stuff to my friends and talk about it to strangers online (obviously, since I’m anonymous), no one else. This is the real me, and most people don’t accept me for me.
I believe I can feel remorse sometimes, such as if they do something that isn’t benefitting me, but I can’t really accept it most of the time. People have told me others don’t want to be by me because I’m rude, but I honestly see this as a personal attack against me. I think it’s their problem for not accepting me.
I want to maintain a good public image, so i say people should be kind and that bullying is wrong, because it’s been done to me amend doesn’t feel good. But to be honest, I couldn’t care less about how other people feel if it doesn’t impact me.
I feel like I should feel bad, and that’s why I’m confessing this.
(So in other words, my emotions are based on how I think others want me to feel. Like right now, most people would feel bad, so I feel like I should too.)
