this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2024
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chapotraphouse

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White people will look you dead in the eyes and tell you that Palestinian children deserve to starve and then go drop a band on 3 different types of raw chicken feet and salmon fins to feed Bark Ruffalo, their goldendoodle with an uncannily human expression

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[–] WashedAnus@hexbear.net 49 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"Bark Ruffalo" really got my cracker energy flowing

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 29 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Honestly I really appreciate the input because I came up with it on the spot and felt really proud of myself

[–] GeorgeZBush@hexbear.net 23 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I got really mad at a hypothetical person who would name a dog that so it's very effective, well done

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 7 points 6 months ago

rat-salute at your service

[–] itappearsthat@hexbear.net 43 points 6 months ago (2 children)

someone has to have made a gentrification sign tier list, this is an S rank for sure

[–] Barx@hexbear.net 23 points 6 months ago (3 children)

Expensive pet stores, an abundance of yoga studios, boutiques, and salons, a flurry of ill-fated overpriced concept bars, Mexican restaurants run by white people that charge $7 for a taco, a brewpub with the most mid IPA you've ever tasted, fad restaurants in general (acai bowls or whatever the fuck), almost completely unused rooftop patios, a health food trend grocery store that charges 4X the price for basic goods (it replaced a local, much cheaper supermarket), the neighborhood suddenly gets nice sidewalks and transit (for the white people of course)

[–] itappearsthat@hexbear.net 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Bagel shops, fancy donut shops, fancy ice cream parlors, drinking chocolate shops, French-style bakery-cafes, cold-pressed juice shops, mediterranean cooking supply shop where everything comes in a <500mL container and mostly looks like it's there for the aesthetique

[–] Barx@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Hahahaha there are always an increasing number of way overpriced ice cream shops. It begins with 1 but they don't stop there! The rest are on-point too.

[–] itappearsthat@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago

almost completely unused rooftop patios

lmfao gottem

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 8 points 6 months ago

The Mexican place has to also gentrify elotes and call it “Mexican street corn” and charge $12 per ear (yes the ends are cut off)

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 15 points 6 months ago

We need to get hexbear’s best minds on this asap tbh

[–] D61@hexbear.net 32 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"Raw Dog Delivery" Service would make for a very interesting entry in a phone book.

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 35 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That’s your mom’s name in my contacts list

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 28 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Place looks like a cross of a butcher shop and the serial killers front so no one guesses he's feeding humans to dogs.

[–] Des@hexbear.net 18 points 6 months ago

thank you for expressing the deep unease i felt looking at these pics

[–] MaeBorowski@hexbear.net 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Not pictured, but next door to this is a wine-tasting bar.

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

These places have to be money laundering schemes bro

[–] MaeBorowski@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago

Maybe, but there are hordes of bougsie wine cave warriors in that area and a fuckton of tourists giving that place a plenty of real business.

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of the food labels from Repo Man

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago

Pick n Pay is an actual supermarket retail chain in South Africa lmao

[–] MaxOS@hexbear.net 23 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 11 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Even for gentrifying place standards that's a dogshit (lol) logo

[–] Barx@hexbear.net 22 points 6 months ago

You leave Bark Ruffalo out of this he is an angel.

That window does need a brick tho

[–] oregoncom@hexbear.net 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You need to throw a brick through their window to keep rent down.

[–] newerAccountWhoDis@hexbear.net 16 points 6 months ago

I have a better Idea mao-wave

[–] newerAccountWhoDis@hexbear.net 14 points 6 months ago (4 children)

stores opening doesn't raise rents, landlords do

[–] KhanCipher@hexbear.net 31 points 6 months ago

Yes, but the best way to predict when a landlord increases the rent is usually tied to property value (which in turn influences property taxes). And the best way to tell if property value is going to go up is by paying attention to the kinds of stores opening up (or developments being built) in your neighborhood.

[–] stilgar@infosec.pub 23 points 6 months ago

Thunder doesn't kill you, lightning does

[–] pyx@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago

smartest hexbear

[–] came_apart_at_Kmart@hexbear.net 14 points 6 months ago

i was on vacation with family in a "cool" capital city (tbh, it was p cool) but anyway there was a "cat cafe" near the hotel where my sister+her kid wanted to check out. they didn't partake, because apparently it costs like $20/person/hour to just go inside and drink drinks (~$10/drink) and if you want a cat to come over to you, you have to pay someone to bring it ($10) and then pay again to give it treats ($2/treat).

when they articulated all this to me, i was like, "wtf, was there even anyone in there?" and they said it had a few people in it but was mostly dead. like, i can see the appeal of being somewhere that there's a bunch of cats that might come up and hang out, but i cannot imagine paying for that, especially so much. like do the cat's cough off golden hairballs?

i used to live near a really cheap restaurant that had like a dozen feral cats always hanging around out behind it. i could get a meal and a few beers and all the cat attention in the world for like $6.

[–] rootsbreadandmakka@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago (1 children)

che-no: Bark Ruffalo

che-si: Karl Barx

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I wanted the first name last name double dog pun though

[–] nat_turner_overdrive@hexbear.net 6 points 6 months ago

We call him barky bark for fun

[–] Iwishiwasntthisway@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Sit out on the stoop with a 40.

Drink: Doodle type dog

Dog in a stroller

Purebred "rescue" puppy

Kill your drink: Pit in a tutu

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago

Missing a few

Kill drink:

-Owner does not pick up after dog

-dog has leash stretched to the max and forces pedestrian going other direction to leave sidewalk

-dog acts aggressively towards other dog and both owners think “theyre playing!”

[–] aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net 12 points 6 months ago

Though he expresses some confusion about his part in the plan
And he can't understand that he's not in command
The decisions underwritten by the cash in his hand
Bought a sweater for his weimaraner, too
Now I'm no mad man but that's insanity

[–] RNAi@hexbear.net 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

The amerikan project creates this in exchange of millions of people not having clean water nor a home

[–] The_Walkening@hexbear.net 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Doodle crosses are a genuine negative for society. I have lived with a standard (full size) poodle and they are really great dogs, but they're absolutely not a good fit for most dog owners. Poodles love attention. And they like barking for attention. A standard poodle (the most likely cross) barks at about 120db. Absolutely everywhere. Outside, enclosed spaces, right in front of your goddamn face. This is about 35 db louder than the threshold for hearing damage, and the decibel scale is logarithmic. I feel that largely burgerlanders do not train their dogs well and because of that, we have people who are constantly exposed to hearing-damage levels of sound multiple times a day inside their own living spaces. They can also be pretty intolerant of kids and they get nippy.

A poodle cross can combine those negatives with all the negatives of the breed they're crossed with. For example, I've also lived with a purebred Golden Retriever. This dog had seperation anxiety and chewed through a panel from a door in a night. But hey, at least they don't make you sneeze, right?

[–] CoolerOpposide@hexbear.net 6 points 6 months ago

I think that personally if you are allergic to dogs you maybe shouldn’t have one and just get a different pet