Got so tired of casual sex that they created competitive ranked sex.
this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
397 points (97.4% liked)
Curated Tumblr
3947 readers
317 users here now
For preserving the least toxic and most culturally relevant Tumblr heritage posts.
Image descriptions and plain text captions of written content are expected of all screenshots. Here are some image text extractors (I looked these up quick and will gladly take FOSS recommendations):
-web
-iOS
Please begin copied raw text posts (lacking a screenshot that makes it apparent it is from Tumblr) with:
# This has been reposted here to Lemmy as part of the "Curated Tumblr Project."
I made the icon using multiple creative commons svg resources, the banner is this.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Ugh, I hate it when I'm just trying to have some casual, fun sex and some no-life loser starts yelling at me that she's actually Gold 3 at ranked sex in her main account before reporting me for "throwing"
Well honestly I have the skills of a diamond rank but the matchmaking keeps putting me in with silver rank teammates so I guess I'll never get out of (barely) gold
I'm not usually this bad at ranked orgies, the season meta just sucks
God I miss early Sex before oral and pronebone got nerfed to hell
😂 I feel you, oral was a big part of my range
What the fuck? Who wants to be competing in sex and romance? I mean that's the dating scene and a LOT of people hate that shit. Once you get into a relationship, who still wants to do that? Especially in a polyamory relationship: I thought one of the points of polyamory was that each individual was free to love each member in their own way and there wasn't any real competition and struggle for affection (or as little as possible).
Someone clearly thinks they are going to be at the "top" of their polycule and wants to lord it over people for some pathetic amount of power.
I mean like generally yes but some poly dynamics have (consensual) rules. You might have a triad that’s closed off to other members for example, who would all consider it cheating if any one member had a relationship they kept secret from the other two. It’s not always “free love” all the time like it’s the 60s again.
You also do have hierarchal poly dynamics. People with “primary” partners and such. But it’s not really a competition. I personally don’t vibe with that, but it can be done in a healthy way if everyone is up front about their expectations.
I was poly for years and my ex and I designated each other as primary just to help ensure our priorities matched. We'd seen couples that just "free loved" it and it frequently led to a lot of drama and hurt feelings.
One person "demoted" her fiance to just a side relationship because she was encouraging her boyfriends to be competitive. It was gross. The idea of making love or sexuality a competition is just gross. These people are gross.
I have had times where people treat “non-hierarchical” as “you should immediately consider me equal to your other partners”. When no, trust takes time and effort to grow. In that sense, the partner that I live with does have some level of primacy over my other partners, because I trust her enough to build a home together. However we don’t share a room, we have our own spaces, and we schedule sleepovers just the same as I would with any other partner.
One person "demoted" her fiance to just a side relationship because she was encouraging her boyfriends to be competitive. It was gross. The idea of making love or sexuality a competition is just gross. These people are gross.
That is indeed ridiculously gross. She completely missed the memo on the “ethical” part of “ethical non-monogamy”. I think I would agonise for weeks if I was thinking about making the decision to no longer live with my nestmate. Months if I was planning on moving straight in with a different partner. I would need to figure out how to communicate that it wasn’t due to any transgressions on their part, that it wasn’t a punishment. That I just, didn’t feel that living together was right for our relationship or either of us as individuals. Especially if the end goal was to continue to be together. I can’t imagine being so careless with someone’s emotions like that.
Yeah. I loved the idea of non hierarchical poly early on, but there’s a resounding practicality in my relationship hierarchy. My wife comes first. We live together and are married, of course she does.
It’s so disgusting to make this a competition when it should just be a cooperative pursuit of happiness
star trek mirror universe?
I have no idea who that woman is or anything about her blog. But if I read that comment alone I would asume it's facetious. It sounds like a joke and not serious. If they were serious then... wow that's fucked up.
She was the one running the actual books for FTX cryptocurrency exchange. All the crimes that Sam Bankman-Fried did, she was the one who made sure they actually happened.
Caroline Ellison was absolutely serious about competitive, ranked sex. There is no metric in which that woman would ever get out of Bronze.
I don't know. Geeky out in the world and absolutely insane in the bedroom... Kinda works for me.
Shit person, yeah. I'm not actually into it, but purely theoretically, it could work.
She was openly into sexism and meritocracy. Kinda stunned because she probably would have blended right into any LARP event until she opened her mouth.
Hmm someone clearly isn’t concerned about THEIR ranking takes out tiny notebook, makes a small adjustment to a number 😜
Sounds like something a Bronze would say. skill issue.
"you know what the problem with polyamory is? not enough jealousy possessiveness or hierarchy. or eugenics."
Techbros have gotten so dogmatic and up their own asses that they're becoming Mormons.
But have tech bros donated million$ to invalidate my marriage, I ask
If you're LGBTQ+, very likely. There's some pretty awful people with a lot of money in The Valley.
yeah, even the gay ones.
also wrote the algorithms that made all young men and everyone's grandparents Nazis.
then just made it worse when people pointed it out.
If you believe the point of marriage is to reproduce, then tech bros investing in pointless energy usage that makes the planet unsuitable for future generations sort of invalidates your marriage.
Ah, ranked Polyamory. Are they going to add ELO in the next update? Seasonal resets, perhaps?
C O M P E T I T I V E S E X
Elo is not an acronym, so you don't need to put it in all-caps.
Electric Light Orchestra. Jeff Lynne has entered the relationship.
And like with League of Legends, I bet SBF was hardstuck in bronze.
Google Calendar DLCs
This. Normies can’t understand the thrill of pinning the weasel. Night spent chasing an over amphetamined Caroline around the bean bag forts. Her squealing and gibbering, pouring sweat and on the verge of seizing. Your friends build up an intoxicating, delerious state with Talmudic chantings at the sidelines, hitting the Caroline-toy with brooms if she tries to escape. Sam would be giggling and laughing as the waves of methamphetamine pleasure seem to harmonize with the droning herbrew verses. He runs through the bean bag maze fat and portly, with his viagra powered penis a driving rod for the weasel. Sweat gushing down his face around his unfocused eyes he laughs and chortles until he gasps “Found you!” . The Mathweasel screeches defensively but Wankman Bankman is upon her in seconds. His penis thrusting blindly into her flank, leg, stomach and ribs unconcerned about anything but the motion. Eventually serendipity finds her mouth and the Cocktube Rodent is placated, suckling contently on Bankman’s dehydrated dick.
You know, thinking about it I feel like literacy might be overrated.
I Have Eyes And I Must Not
Do they Jack Welch and dump the lowest performer every quarter?
You expect crypto junkies to be sane? You expect fintech "entrepreneurs" to be sane? You expect those who idolize Silicone Valley to be sane?
They don't represent ingenuity. They don't represent extremists. They don't even represent the NSFW Tumblr community. No, they represent the product of the most negligent parenting, being raised in an environment where they can say whatever they want and get whatever they want. They are a blight upon our society and no tears should be wept for them as they rot their existence away in the darkest, dankest prison imaginable with not even a slither of sunlight to grace their forsaken souls.
There, there
hey now. prisons are unethical.
guillotines are not.
They basically reinvented concubinal ranked competitive polyamoury.
This is just the Dark Eldar with less body horror
This site needs more people. It should not take 5 hours for someone to respond to this comment with a joke about having to see Sam Bankman Fried naked.
He strikes me as the type that is largely unkept. Probably makes his chosen ones battle it out under the shade of a large flakey bush.
They wanted a vampire community.
So is this the opposite of my IWW-ass polycule?
I’m fine with that
Breaking: Tech people have insane sexual interests. More at 8.
Said ugly people
Dude watched Apothecary Diaries and said "I want exactly that please."