Asklemmy

Person with huge pockets builds a house that gets blown up because the door was left open.

You throw cubes in transdimensional holes to win a cake.

try to cure your burnout by waking up and starting work at 6am and passing out at 2am every single day for the rest of your life

Speaking skills - 0

Sword and shield skills - 100

You end up stranded on a foreign planet. You need to build a rocket so you can go home, but unfortunately you have to build a whole manufacturing facility to do that. As if this wasn't hard enough, the inhabitants of the planet are environmentalist assholes and will do anything in their power to stop you.

You're finally awake in death row and then spend the whole adventure, shouting to others, trying to avoid knee injury

A guy just wants to leave his home country and see the world, but his dad won't let him. Even when he gets past his dad, he still can't quite make it. It's in the blood.

Upon being released from prison, you thrust yourself directly into the local religions and governments until everyone can agree that you're the rebirth of divinity, at which point you doom the game world to death by giant fucking meteor by poking a large heart with really specific silverware.

Florida men crashland on planet, commit war crimes and sell drugs.

Kid gets sick of being told to clean his room and runs away from home, but it's more difficult than he anticipates. In desperation, he reaches out to his estranged relatives for help, which just makes his dad even more mad.

you land on an alien planet, burn down trees, pollute the air, exterminate the native wildlife, drain the land of all natural resources, pave it all over with concrete, put some fish on a rocket, do not elaborate, leave

Wolfman dies, kills some monkeys, does some rope stuff, performs eye surgery and kills himself (depending on what ending you go for).

A guy goes to work and encounters unexpected events

Tattooed rooftop parkour delivery person saves sister.

Ooh, look at this beautiful vast open world! Let's go explo-YOU DIED

YOU DIED

YOU DIED

YOU DIED

Zombie convict secret agent gets sidetracked in a "never ravine' by secret village witch ghosts to find a wacked-out politician in a volcano.

The little man, underpaid and under-equipped, does grind work for big corpo. Beer is the only reward.

Teams Fight over Rocks. Rarely they play a form of soccer or against robots. Some characters throw suspiciously colored fluids on other players. There are cosmetics

You're an alien frog archaeologist that launches themself into space in a rocket jerry-rigged out of wood and ancient alien goat-person tech. After dying repeatedly in several excruciating and brutal ways you learn to embrace death.

italian plumber crushing turts

You take your big sticky balls,rub them all over the world, and show off the results to a your daddy in tights.

Guys, I have the best idea - guys! I hav- Guys! Best Idea! - I have the best idea ever! Guys! Listen! We'll put 64 huge rockets on a tiny pod and then forget to add parachutes. Brilliant.

a gun that makes holes

not bullet holes

You're looking for a gun. A gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes.

Holy crap this thing is hard, I can't guess any

Cowboy gets convinced to do one more job every time...

Your parents have a disgusting basement, and crying is an effective weapon against fillicide.

speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out

I married my cousin, had an affair with my sister and then joined a religious sect that requires me to be naked all the time.

I can't tell you anything about it you just have to play it.

That one with all the dragons. You know the one, buM bada bum bada dum dum dum, ohhh OHHHH, BUM BADABUM.

Groups of people fight over gravel

You're supposed to be looking for your kidnapped son, but that's kinda hard in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Might as well just do whatever you want and hopefully run into him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Fall really far a lot. Stick sticks to big sticks. Throw fruit to avoid confrontation. Frequent fashion changes. Still can’t pet dogs.