this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 43 comments
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[–] Ejh3k@lemmy.world 61 points 9 months ago (6 children)

My wife caught my googling "why do we say baloney in stead of bologna", took a photo of it, and roasted me on Instagram. And I still don't know why.

[–] skooks@lemmy.world 60 points 9 months ago

Sounds like she's a big meanie

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 25 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Lol imagine being in a relationship like this .

My wife is my teammate and would never roast me on public permanent social media, and I wouldn't do that to her.

[–] cmgvd3lw@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 9 months ago

That doesn't seem healthy to me.

[–] SzethFriendOfNimi@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago

Anybody post the answer below it?

[–] match@pawb.social 7 points 9 months ago

Are the straights okay

[–] steal_your_face@lemmy.ml 5 points 9 months ago

Because she's insecure

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 28 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Because then I can't purposely mispronounce it as "boo-log-nuh."

[–] SeabassDan@lemmy.world 26 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

For old times' sake.

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KOM TRU!

[–] Rodeo@lemmy.ca 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] jcg@halubilo.social 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Yeah this one's an ancient one. I think this might actually even predate Reddit

[–] logi@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Yes, I remember this one from usenet back in the 90s. Although the intro may have changed to blame it on the EU.

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of the “k”, Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

Sounds good to me!

[–] drathvedro@lemm.ee 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Objection! If you replase ze soft C with S, Koncentration kamps bekome Konsent-ration kamps! Zis is unasseptable!

[–] Wilzax@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

unakseptable*

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

its literally impossible to change words. just never happens, were screwed. literally.

[–] allywilson@sopuli.xyz 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)

i didnt; they never came in the box

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 4 points 9 months ago

Sor we all saw it fall out of your pocket. Are you claiming you didn't bring that from home?

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 23 points 9 months ago (2 children)

If enough people do the dictionaries will eventually change it.

[–] snooggums@kbin.social 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 0 points 9 months ago

It's already happening!

I have others I would like to change, like potatoes. Where does the e come from, how about potatos?

[–] TotallyNotSpez@lemm.ee 4 points 9 months ago

Just send the Punisher to the publishers, a much faster solution.

[–] logi@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago

I'm sure the good people of Bologna would be glad to not be associated with your baloney.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Plot twist: he's talking about the city in Italy.

[–] HappyPenguinos@ani.social 3 points 9 months ago

What does Rome have to do with this post?

[–] M137@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

"Queue"

Just use Cue, Que or simply "Q"

...Or

QUwUe

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago
[–] mp3@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I'll keep spelling it baloney, fite me

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Are you sure you've thot about this?

[–] mp3@lemmy.ca 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I'm sure I did, it says right so in the Prostitution of the United States.

[–] taanegl@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

What a bunch of baloonie... damnit

[–] pancakes@sh.itjust.works 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Because then it would be too close to "balcony" and it would confuse people

[–] GluWu@lemm.ee 1 points 9 months ago

I have bad dyslexia but I think I'd be able to figure it out based on context. Balcony sandwiches would be too big and dry, and I wouldn't want to step out on anyone's baloney.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago
[–] doctorcrimson@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Just imagine the hero of an action moving saying that absurd shit and it's the last thing you ever see and hear.

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social -5 points 9 months ago (4 children)

On the same note, we should either change the spelling to "rondevoo", or pronounce rendezvous as "ren-dez-vouse", this having words pronounced entirely different from the spelling just adds confusion

[–] cafeinux@infosec.pub 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The word coming french has to do with it in this case. But to be fair, the french changed the spelling of "beefsteak" to "bifteck" to match the spelling with the pronunciation, so feel free to write "rondevoo", I guess.

[–] onion@feddit.de 3 points 9 months ago

German word for cookie/biscuit is "Keks" which is adopted from "cakes"

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] Maeve@kbin.social 3 points 9 months ago

U mispeld “arrr”.

[–] onion@feddit.de 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Also business to bizness and busy to bizy, unless we are talking about how bus-like something is

[–] doctordevice@lemm.ee 2 points 9 months ago

There's no way around that unless we start spelling things a lot more differently around the English-speaking world. We have enough trouble with the relatively minor spelling differences between UK and US English as it is, increasing that confusion is far worse than having spelling decoupled from pronunciation.