this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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Centrist take: If you can't get a decent sear on a gas stove you need to learn how to cook.

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[–] Glimpythegoblin@lemm.ee 155 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I get this is satire, but how the fuck do you even cook a steak that bad. Is it boiled?

[–] sulgoth@lemmy.world 67 points 11 months ago (6 children)

Look up milk steak, it's a delicacy and it looks a bit like that.

[–] darkdemize@sh.itjust.works 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It better come with a side of jellybeans.

[–] sawdustprophet@midwest.social 22 points 11 months ago

It better come with a side of jellybeans.

Raw.

[–] neidu@feddit.nl 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Is it better than rum ham?

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[–] PugJesus@kbin.social 38 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The Frankish Emperor Charlemagne, later in life, suffered from health problems from eating too much meat. His physicians told him that he should switch from roasted to boiled meat, which he chafed at. Having never boiled meat because I don't eat much meat, I assumed it was royalty having Royalty Problems™.

Looking at that, if it's a result of boiling, I'm starting to think instead that was cruel and unusual punishment by his doctors.

[–] Vorticity@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As someone who eats steak on rare occasion, if I was told I had to boil my steak from now on I would not be eating steak anymore. Boiled steak with no seat on the outside sounds awful.

[–] Feyr@lemmy.world 15 points 11 months ago

I, too, like my steaks with seats outside. I can sit the whole family there!

[–] Alto@kbin.social 14 points 11 months ago

It'd basically be stew meat minus the flavor from browning the meat before hand.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 14 points 11 months ago

Some people don't actually know how to cook and think "I got it to X temperature" means they did it right.

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 75 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Ben Shapiro likes his steak like he likes his wife's pussy: completely fucking dry

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 20 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Which his wife, WHO IS A DOCTOR BY THE WAY, assured him was perfectly normal.

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[–] yesman@lemmy.world 73 points 11 months ago (6 children)

That's not well done, that's congratulations.

[–] scottywh@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

It looks like it was boiled... And not in like a Sous Vide way ..

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[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 71 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'm only mad about what he did to that steak

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 41 points 11 months ago

Honestly same, choke on gas fumes all day, it's your life! But a cow died for that steak, honor it for fuck's sake.

[–] Brimos@lemmy.world 31 points 11 months ago (2 children)

As a vegetarian, even I’m mad about how he cooked that steak.

[–] neidu@feddit.nl 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Vegetarians and vegans should be twice as upset, because that cow was murdered twice.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I guess anyone dumb enough to think liberals would be angry about him cooking a steak is probably too dumb to learn how to cook one properly.

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[–] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 57 points 11 months ago (1 children)

MFer figured out how to turn beef into pork

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[–] macrocephalic@lemmy.world 55 points 11 months ago (4 children)

I'm just upset they a cow had to die to make a steak that bad. They could have used a cardboard box and saved a cow.

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[–] inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world 51 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

So this 'alpha' thought he could own some libs by steaming a steak?

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[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 49 points 11 months ago

An animal died for that. At least do a good job cooking the damn thing lol

[–] finkrat@lemmy.world 41 points 11 months ago

*Ruined a steak

[–] rsuri@lemmy.world 40 points 11 months ago

I'm wondering if that's a butter knife, or the steak was so hard it wore the knife down

[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 36 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Somehow managed to make it look like a slice of pie.

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 21 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

My mind went to scrap wood. Shit looks like a hunk of raw pine.

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[–] PersnickityPenguin@lemm.ee 36 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Did he boil the damn thing?!

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[–] DoucheBagMcSwag@lemmy.dbzer0.com 33 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

If this is not satire, i hope that potential Chud ate that entire fucking thing

[–] ArugulaZ@kbin.social 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

Damn. Well, enjoy your disconcertingly pale steak. Try not to get mad cow disease.

Honestly, why do these assholes regard acts of self-endangerment as "owning the libs?" "I'm gonna run outside without a mask, get COVID, and die a miserable death! That'll show those commies a thing or three!" Yes, I'm very "triggered" by your easily preventable deaths. Please don't kill yourself with your own stupidity. I couldn't go on without your fourth grade insults and desperate, performative machismo. Stop. Please. Oh no.

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[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 29 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

There is a nonzero chance that we're looking at a piece of wood

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago

New tv show idea: Is It Steak?

[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 28 points 11 months ago

Like I do not know how to cook

But I can assure you I would not be able to fuck up a meal like this if I tried

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (7 children)

In a gas stovetop I make a beautiful pan-seared, oven cooked steak. And I’m liberal.

This steak has nothing to do with what it was prepared on, just the moron who ruined good food.

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[–] Furedadmins@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Someone should publish a study that self castration is harmful and should maybe be phased out.

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[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 25 points 11 months ago (8 children)

Bro

As someone who eats steaks Blue Rare

What the fuck is this?

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[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 22 points 11 months ago

I think my cat eats better meat than that.

[–] mutter9355@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 11 months ago (11 children)

The only people who think gas stoves are superior are the ones who never tried an induction stove

[–] Cowbee@lemm.ee 21 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Gas is better than shitty electric, but induction is better than both shitty electric and good gas.

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[–] guyrocket@kbin.social 17 points 11 months ago (2 children)

That looks like an overcooked pork chop.
And it looks disgusting.
I pity the fool that has to eat that.

[–] Pons_Aelius@kbin.social 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It looks both over cooked but under-seared.

I have a feeling they boiled it rather cooked it in a pan.

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[–] Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

When you don't realize the meat thermometer is set to Celsius

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[–] don@lemm.ee 14 points 11 months ago

Yeah, they’re fuming, they’re fuming about how the fuckwit ruined whatever that shit on the plate could’ve been.

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