this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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I get this is satire, but how the fuck do you even cook a steak that bad. Is it boiled?
Look up milk steak, it's a delicacy and it looks a bit like that.
It better come with a side of jellybeans.
Raw.
Is it better than rum ham?
Sortilege bacon?
No. Just no.
Magnets.
God I hope it's neither.
The Frankish Emperor Charlemagne, later in life, suffered from health problems from eating too much meat. His physicians told him that he should switch from roasted to boiled meat, which he chafed at. Having never boiled meat because I don't eat much meat, I assumed it was royalty having Royalty Problems™.
Looking at that, if it's a result of boiling, I'm starting to think instead that was cruel and unusual punishment by his doctors.
As someone who eats steak on rare occasion, if I was told I had to boil my steak from now on I would not be eating steak anymore. Boiled steak with no seat on the outside sounds awful.
I, too, like my steaks with seats outside. I can sit the whole family there!
It'd basically be stew meat minus the flavor from browning the meat before hand.
Some people don't actually know how to cook and think "I got it to X temperature" means they did it right.