Don't say "dating apps" like there's not a monopoly - this is all Match
this post was submitted on 11 Feb 2025
123 points (96.2% liked)
Technology
62073 readers
6317 users here now
This is a most excellent place for technology news and articles.
Our Rules
- Follow the lemmy.world rules.
- Only tech related content.
- Be excellent to each other!
- Mod approved content bots can post up to 10 articles per day.
- Threads asking for personal tech support may be deleted.
- Politics threads may be removed.
- No memes allowed as posts, OK to post as comments.
- Only approved bots from the list below, to ask if your bot can be added please contact us.
- Check for duplicates before posting, duplicates may be removed
- Accounts 7 days and younger will have their posts automatically removed.
Approved Bots
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Not just zoomers.
I'm a grumpy old-inneial, and I dumped them a while ago.
The big reason is they've become fucking awful exploitative shitshows. Paywalls for everything, nonstop popups to buy shit, push notifications about things that you should pay for, fake messages that there's "waiting matches" if I just pay $39.95, and the dark pattern bullshit you expect off scam websites: limited time sales, limited volume sales, 'act now or it's gone forever' nonsense.
And, if that wasn't bad enough, what you would get, if you paid for it, is flakes, fakes, scammers, and catfishers. Like, while hovering in the free pity-zone you get, I got a ton of matches. I'd say out of ~60 matches, 25 were outright scams (Oh hello, I am kindly wanting to get laid, please contact me on the app I use every day, telegram!), 20 were fakes (quick reverse image search showed that shockingly, that image was, in fact, not someone who felt the need to actually use dating apps), 10 were people who had decade old pictures or very, very selective angles, and the last 5 were conversations that totally went to plans and then... nothing.
Now, I'm gay, so I already have a HUGE advantage over the poor straghts, because everyone is there to get laid, and thus the bullshit is usually a lot more minimal. Don't have to convince a dude all that hard, or play the make-sure-you-answer-the-question-correctly shit my straight friends have to deal with.
But, even then, over the course of a month, it was just a case of being nagged to death to spend money, and every interaction being total bullshit, which doesn't really make you want to spend the time OR money.
And before you assume it's just me, I went on dates and uh, more, 3 times in the same month off people I met from Snapchat. From the random-people-you-should-add list. So, I'll assume it's not just me, and that those apps have rotted to the point they're literally worse than random people on Snapchat, which is a hell of an achievement.
And I'll 2nd the just meeting people at things in real life. People can't play the stupid shit games if they're standing in front of you: it's hard to be a scam or a fake, and your ability to catfish is limited to trying to suck your gut in, which isn't really something someone is likely to miss you doing.
I do think, though, that there were useful dating apps before they got ingested into the match.com umbrella, but they have been, so it's just a wilderness of enshittified piles of poo as far as you can see.
"There are piles of poo just waiting to match with YOU! Only $14.99/week!"
Also how do I add alt text to image on here...
Dating is for people with a future. We have all realized in our subconscious that there is no future anymore. At least, not a good one.
They figured out it's all catfishing, bots, and now AI?
So.. it’s definitely their fault somehow and not…. I don’t know… enshitification?
I can’t blame enshittification on this one. The dating app model doesn’t work, period. Even in the case of a completely free, non-profit app, you still have the problem that as people pair off they leave the dating pool.
The fundamental problem is that there’s a nonzero subpopulation of people who either have no interest in or are incapable of forming a stable long term relationship. As the dating pool filters over time, these folks get more and more concentrated in the population. This leads to the experience getting worse and worse for people who are interested and capable because they keep matching up with the wrong people.
Is Gen Z becoming the new Millennials?
"Gen Z is ruining the Dating App Market!"
yes, they do this kind of propaganda to young people since gen x. its all bullshit.
the kids are fine.
The article says as much. But it's also definitely both. While the dating app scene has been abysmal for the last 10 years or so, Gen Z is also a lot less sexually active than previous generations were at their age. There've been a few reports on how Gen Z is having less sex, and how they have less demand for sex in media because they grew up inundated with sexualized media their whole lives. It's pretty interesting to see the attitude shift toward sex with the generations.
lol . . . thanks TIME.
It's got nothing to with "generations". Young people don't need dating apps as much because their social lives are better. Wait until they're 28 working at a shit job with minimal human interaction. They'll be on those apps.
TL;DRs:
many Gen-Z daters cite fear of rejection and being cringe amongst their top concerns.
Gen-Z daters may have a harder time putting themselves in the vulnerable position online of seeking partnership only to get passed over or ghosted.
dating a friend or someone from their community may actually reduce those feelings of stress and anxiety that Gen-Z face in the dating app environment.
Social media has become a place for meeting potential partners. Visually-driven apps like Instagram and TikTok allow users to get a sense of who people are (or who they want to be seen as)
Another interesting dating trend involves sharing detailed information about yourself and what you’re looking for in a personalized Google doc, linked in your social media bio.
Self-doxxing? Wtf?!
Latest Gen-Z trend is messaging your name, dob, and bank details to me.
Yeah, what happened to the good old:
a/s/l?18/f/cali
Self-doxing is a major reason why I never tried dating sites/apps. You don't have any chance there without a photo of yourself, and having my face posted online is a strict "no". Especially since I don't really look like an adult, which might attract some... unwanted kind of attention.
But mostly it's the fact that pretty much all men want sex there.
pretty much all men want sex ~~there~~
FTFY
pretty much all ~~men~~ non-asexuals want sex
FTFY
I was told that a lot of women do indeed start to want "it" after forming a deep emotional connection with somebody. Yet to experience that. Most men are just horny at nobody in particular tho
Women are very capable of being horny for horny's sake.
Women generally have to be much more selective for safety. The stats on sexual assault in US would astound anyone. Given how likely it is for a girl to be SA'd, or know someone who has, its no wonder they don't openly express desire as much. Guys don't have to worry about what happens if they change their mind at any poiny. At least not even close to the same degree.
Yeah, very fair points. Just that lacking this desire entirely is very consistent with my experience, so I still prefer to assume most women only "unlock" it under said conditions.
I think strip clubs are the counterpoint to "both sexes are equally horny."
Yes, male strip clubs exist but the vast majority are for people to ogle naked women.
I don't think the status quo is good evidence. We do studies because we know how messy life is. You could just as easily be proving my point as you think you're proving yours.
Why do strip clubs exist? Idk, but it could be because men are more comfortable being sexual. As there is less shame in going to a strip club than working for one.
You could just as easily be proving my point as you think you're proving yours.
How on Earth would the overwhelming majority of strip clubs featuring naked women be evidence that women are as horny as guys?
But fine, remove the physical shame etc. Set your browser to incognito, google porn and let me know how long it takes before you find a site catering to women instead of guys.
Ya missed my point a bit. Maybe I wasn't so clear. I'm not saying strip clubs prove women are more horny. I'm saying it is reaonsable to assume asymertic distribution of gender roles in strip clubs is influenced by our current culture more than biology. Given no actual evidence it is reasonable to see it either way.
Saying "Just look!" is as good as "Common sense". Its extremely culturally embeded and not necessarily reflective of any underlying truth.
I'm saying you didn't prove anything to me. I'm not saying whether anything is true or untrue at a global level.
Woman may be more or less horny than men. In my sample they are more horny. Maybe I'm just getting older.
As the conversation is about people who exist in the world as it is, not theoretical women in an abstract land, it seems perfectly reasonable to include the current distribution as skewed by current culture.
Did you mean to respond to a different thread where people were talking about biologically and removed culture conditions?
I get a little lost in the sauce when I get typing. I stand by most of what I said, but maybe some isn't pertinent.
Let me try and be super clear. In my sample women are more horny than men. In yours it is the other way.
Giving examples of men being outwardly sexual doesn't prove that they feel it more. Just because more businesses cater to men doesn't mean they feel it more. You are giving very surface level and indirect proof and calling it evidence.
I'm not working in abstract land, just not your land I guess.
Edit: I checked, the argument is about your evidence being mid. That's been my position from the start. I don't even agree that men and women are equally horny, but I don't think you disproved it with strip clubs.
Unsure where you're getting my sample from.
I'm using actual things that exist rather than my own experience because I understand that my experiences are not universal and are inherently subjective. Making blanket statements based on anyone's experience is nonsensical.
And businesses, like online porn catering to men are pretty decent proof that men are hornier, that's how capitalism works. Where a desire exists, businesses will fill it. Unless women are drastically poorer (a little so but hardly enough to rationalize an entire industry all but not existing) then a lack of demand indicates... you guessed it, a lack of demand.
What if women's sexuality is felt differently, and porn isn't a perfect fit?
Here is how you sound: Do you know much about smut novels? Women must be much more horny given that they buy way more of those than guys do. No reason guys would buy less other than being less horny.
I ditched it just because fpr the few contacts I could establish all of them ghosted me after the first outreach.
Like okay, why even give mw a thumbs up if you don't care anyway.
Thus I purged the app and live my life happier by just not giving a fuck about that.
If the situation offeres the opportunity I'll take it. Else it's whatever.