lastfmuser
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster

scribblestheunicorn
It’s him,,,

Ted Talker

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[–] MudMan@fedia.io 81 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Oh, you guys are thinking small.

Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.

The worst part is that, fun as this is, I'm having flashbacks of every time I've said something along the lines of "Matt from HR" and realizing that's how that has always worked.

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Renouned negotiator Matt Fromeichar

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 35 points 1 month ago (4 children)

"The prefix "from" is how you know a family comes from the old middle class. Rich families used "the", as in "Jane TheCeo or Peter TheChairman."

"Working class families just don't get a prefix. That's why there are so many James Burgerkings out there".

[–] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 month ago

I see Jack TheRipper in a whole new light now

[–] nshibj@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

That's excellent

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago

That's how I always refer to my sysadmin colleagues when talking to others. Chris and Steve Classrooms, Bill Proxmox (née Vmware), and I'm Jack Networks-Linux. Not real names of course.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

David Searchengineoptimizer, Mary Marykaycosmeticssales, Oleg Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer.

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 5 points 1 month ago

Nobody thought Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer would be a good governor of California, but he ended up being more moderate than expected.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 55 points 1 month ago (3 children)

No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Timmy Onlyfansson

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[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's why he started going by Timothy Olyphant in stead.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Oh, like Timothy Chaturbate/Chalamet?

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Or the endboss of funny names: Syphilis Snugglesnatch, oh I mean Bumbleshack Calldispatch, oh I mean Benadryl Lumberjack, ...

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 47 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

yea wasn't he the guy from FTX?

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah, the guy who never got out of Bronze in LOL.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

To be fair, I never even got INTO bronze in LOL 🤷

[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 37 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

Peter Unemployed.

Shameless pluck for "Qualityland" by Mark-Uwe Kling.

[–] Enkrod@feddit.org 4 points 1 month ago

General Dragqueen 🫡

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[–] 5oap10116@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Look at me, I'm Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We call him Little Bobby Tables.

[–] Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Always. XKCD. Always.

https://xkcd.com/327/

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 34 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.

[–] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

one of the podcasts i listen to made a joke about Tim Onion buying Infowars and i am still cracking up over it.

also I'm super upset that someone already took the handle tim_apple on everything😤

[–] cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's getting harder to discern reality from satire, but Tim Onion has actually been The Onion's CEO's name^*^ ever since he bought that job. And he is trying to buy InfoWars. (And the company formerly known as Twitter has joined Jones' fight to prevent it.)

^*^(his bluesky display name, at least)

[–] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

thank you for making this even funnier for me

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[–] folekaule@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Imagine being the actual John Gamer.

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[–] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It's basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They're more based on relationship than occupation now.

Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)

[–] WarlordSdocy@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That makes sense considering in the past knowing who your town's baker or other role was mattered. Now a days you don't really know the names of the people you get food and things from so it's shifted now to more relationship based.

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[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 month ago

Dolores del BullshitJob. Or Lola Shitposta.

[–] Zier@fedia.io 11 points 1 month ago

Dick Doctor Patrick Porn Star Caroline Creator Dan Designer Evan Entertainment Ian Importer Tim Apple

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

María Tiktoker

John Uberdriver

Sam Gamereviewer

[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Shorten them and it works

Maria Toker

John Uber

Sam Vèiwer

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[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

“Sup, I’m Lance Crypto!”

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 11 points 1 month ago

Ohh no look out, it's Tim Moderator

[–] Seasm0ke@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Hi my name is Colin Support

[–] tiramichu@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Kailey Influencer

🤮

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 16 points 1 month ago

Influencer isn't a trade name and it will never be, Kailey Advertiser.

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Yosef Tuber

Isha Grammer

Fitzgerald Acebook

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[–] sicarius@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'd be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I'm an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.

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[–] StarlightDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 month ago

In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, "Officer Pig", "Sergeant Pig", "Inspector Pig", "Detective Pig"

[–] essell@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Please see the excellent book "Jennifer Government" for a prescient look at where things are heading.

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[–] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

can someone help me make "janitor" sound like a fancy French name pls

[–] m0darn@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 month ago

Custodienne

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

L’engienier du’sanitaccion

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[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 month ago

Jaques Concierge?

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