Have you tried being born into wealth?
this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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I tried real hard, but I got born into lower middle class by mistake. My bad, I should've tugged harder on my bootstraps while I was an incorporeal potentiality.
I don't even buy avocado toast, I should be a billionaire by now
That's your problem. If you never buy it in the first place, you can't stop buying it. You can't save nothing from nothing!
Here, let me help you out:
- Be rich
- Squander your money on avocado toast and greater luxuries
- Stop squandering your money on these things
- Now you're rich.
If you don't do 2., how can you expect 3. to work?!
Own a home, at least
My father has not gifted me the bootstraps made from billions in exploited labour, but the exploitation of coffee producers tastes like I'm already there.
the primary habit of successful people is fucking over ignorant poor people who don't realize they're being fucked over
I get the feeling that the ultra successful also fuck people over who very well do realize that they are being fucked over
I was just at a depressing job fair trying to recruit for maintenance. It was held at a plant set to close in 3 days. Most of the people I talked to were there for 30 years. It was partially employee owned. Somehow a person in power (I don't know the piece of shit's title) convinced the employees to sell their share at the promise of expansion and investment.
The person in power closed the shop, cashed out, and retired. Will not have to worry about a thing. 200 some people and families now have their lives upended at the benefit to few.
This kind of aligns more with the person you responded to but still relevant.
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Powerlessness is the key demographic
Also, make sure you own at least one media giant. Then, you can use it to spread agit-prop about how our society shouldn't do anything that inconveniences rich a$$holes.
It’s less a lack of willingness - I’m just never presented with opportunities to massively defraud corporations
You don't defraud corporations, that'll earn you the scorn of powerful people. You defraud poor people.
Well that doesn’t sound nearly as fun
But it’s more fun because you get to make more of them.
/s, because last time I didn’t, people took me seriously…
Oh, you can defraud shareholders as well. You just have to tell more compelling lies and secure the right accomplices. Get the auditors on board and you can ride the sinking ship for at least a couple years before you finally run out of cash and the entire organization collapses within a matter of days.
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You gotta create that opportunity. This guy decided to fake being a real company and started sending invoices to Google and Facebook to the tune of 120 million.
Or what about having rich parents or relatives?
Step 1: Be rich.
Step 2: Don't be unrich.
If anyone is curious if the girl was buying a single $5 coffee per day, contributing that $35 into a basic S&P 500 fund each week, and doing so for 2 years she should have about $4500 in her account. Now, if she's buying coffee supplies at a grocery store to replace buying it at take out , we'd have to subtract the cost of coffee supplies from the $4500 to know how much she truly saved making coffee at home.
I don’t know how anyone can survive on a cup of coffee a day.
Usually people eat some food and drink some water, as well as the coffee, during their day
Damn, is that why I feel like shit all the time, I'm supposed to be eating food too?
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You got me curious, so I did the math for us.
I am a drip coffee person, drink far too much coffee (40 oz) throughout the day, and work on a fairly large corporate campus so I have easy access to hot/fresh coffee that I can purchase. Even though there are multiple branded places to get coffee from on campus, they have similar pricing.
- Small (12 oz): 4x @ $2.65/pop = $10.60/day
- Medium (16 oz): 3x @ $2.95/pop = $8.85/day
- Large (20 oz): 2x @ $3.25/pop = $6.50/day. This is obviously the cheapest choice, but will result in a cold bottom half of the cup due to drinking my coffee slowly vs pounding it
My wife and I split a pot of coffee. It takes us 3 oz of coffee beans to brew it. I can buy a 20 oz bag of the coffee beans we use for $15.29, which works out to $2.30/pot. We often stock up on the beans when they go on sale, but I don't know what we paid for them the last time around.
So.. since my wife also drinks coffee let's say that the price spread between purchased already brewed coffee vs brewed at home coffee is between $6.50-$10.60/day. Splitting the difference = $8.85. Doing that 365 days/year = $3,120 saved.
The fact that I have coworkers who drink a similar quantity of espresso based (more $$) drinks at work is insane.
Do this over a 25 year career, invest the money monthly ($260), plan for a conservative 5% rete of return and you'll have $162,577 - only half of which is principal.
Apply this pattern of thinking over a number of different spending categories and you'll be way better off financially. That said, the stats on the billionaire class are eye watering and no amount of frugality will catch any of us up to them.
Boiling the water costs money too.
Ha, this is true as does amortizing things like the coffee maker that needs replacing every 5 years, white vinegar for monthly descaling, the Stanley thermos I bought 4 years ago to bring coffee to work, etc.
Let's say that it takes 15 minutes to brew the pot of coffee at 1,500 watts. That's 0.375 watt hours. At $0.20/kwh that's $0.075/pot. Yay for dumping it into a thermos once it's brewed.
All in, even if you added an extra $0.50/day brewing at home is still way cheaper.
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Have you tried having rich parents?
Must go cheaper: caffeine pills.
Caffeine powder. The best part of waking up, is snorting rail of FDA certified caffeine. You WILL have to explain some things to HR, but they will trust your explanation because of everything else in your HR binder.
They can rip my vanilla latte out of my cold dead hands.
I've been smashing my own avocados like a chump!
Just get a small loan of a few million bucks from your dad!
SBF tried but went too greedy.
Sensible move to save money though.
The key to the Massive Fraud strategy is that you have to already be in the tax bracket that allows for privileges like massive fraud. If you try to do it without meeting that lone prerequisite you end up being arrested by the IRS.
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