this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 289 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Ok.....forget Jessica Simpson. Let's Thanos snap her out of existence, and then Men in Black laserpen flashy thing everyone on earth to forget she ever existed. Everybody on the same page then? Ok, cool. Let's continue.

Ok.....

The name Blessica sucks.

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 135 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Yeah I think the moral of this story is not to knock-up someone who likes the name Blessica.

[–] accideath@lemmy.world 52 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Or whose last name is Blimpson.

[–] IcyToes@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)

I don't think you can "knock-up" a guy.

[–] accideath@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago

We live in the 21st century. Anything is possible. Also, women have last names, too.

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 29 points 1 week ago

Not with that attitude.

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 week ago

you can certainly try

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[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (3 children)

someone who likes the name Blessica

I picture this as someone who goes to church a lot, reads romance novels, bakes awesome cookies, and says things like "sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!"

[–] Hugh_Jeggs@lemm.ee 36 points 1 week ago (4 children)
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[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 181 points 1 week ago (9 children)

It's a child not a vanity plate

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[–] ChowJeeBai@lemmy.world 176 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Parenting is for the good of the kids, not the wants of the parents.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 36 points 1 week ago

Winner winner chicken dinner.

Projecting your views onto your kid only ends up with them resenting you and you feeling like they can't meet expectations.

Some things are non-negotiable: my kids aren't allowed to be disrespectful shit-bagels, but other than that they get to decide who they want to be. I am fortunate enough to get to discover that with them.

[–] donuts@lemmy.world 132 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I refuse to believe this isn't a shitpost

Edit: I need to start reading the communities stuff gets posted in

[–] huginn@feddit.it 61 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The original community was namenerds and digging through the original poster's submission history I'm seeing some pretty bad poetry, 90 day fiance content and grieving the death of their parents: all spread out across the past year.

... I don't think it's a shit post.

[–] donuts@lemmy.world 22 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Nah there's no record of 'Blimpson' being a surname, I call bullshit. But your investigate efforts are appreciated.

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

My BS detector is on yellow alert, but here's the reddit profile. I feel almost like the original OP may be preemptively floating the idea for some reason.

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[–] Darohan@lemmy.zip 124 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Blessica Blimpson picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been

Lives in a dream

[–] LEONHART@slrpnk.net 55 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Ahhhhhh....look at all the blonely bleople...

[–] Batman@sopuli.xyz 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Where DO they all blome from?

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago (4 children)
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[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 18 points 1 week ago

Sir Oscar Meyer
Wipes the Soylent from his hands as the sandwich was made
NO ONE WAS SAVED

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[–] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 120 points 1 week ago (1 children)

She won't get made fun of for sounding like Jessica Simpson...no will care, they'll be too busy making of "Blessica"

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 week ago

And Blimpson. God help any of these.kids if they're overweight

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 86 points 1 week ago (2 children)

thanks to my husband

It's all my husband's fault that I want to curse my child with a shitty name. How they go through life doesn't matter to me. They're my creation, and what I want is all that matters.

What the actual fuck. Just name your kid Paisley if you don't care about their experience after they leave your body. Whether kids know who Jessica Simpson is or not, you're giving your kid a stupid name. They will correctly hate you for it.

[–] frostysauce@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Paisley Blimpson sounds like a cool name.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 19 points 1 week ago

Well goddamn, you're right. I'm amazed.

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[–] Ibaudia@lemmy.world 72 points 1 week ago (20 children)

I found the OP and their post got deleted, but the only comments she responded to were the supportive ones (maybe 1 or 2 out of dozens of "wtf is wrong with you" reactions).

The poster has a history dating back 2 years so I don't think it's a troll, or if it is it's convincing. I just can't believe anyone would actually want to name their kid fucking Blessica. Absolutely revolting name.

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[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 69 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The kid needs a middle name:

Blessica Blaykelyn Bimpson

[–] Stowaway@midwest.social 26 points 1 week ago

For some reason I read this in daffy ducks voice, and it fit perfectly.

[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 47 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

No fucking way. This is rage bait. Even if this dogshit name was truly her most cherished wish, there's no chance you willingly take someone's name and then go on and complain about your actions.

Fake.

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[–] Fleur_@lemm.ee 45 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That kids getting bullied no matter what

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[–] chalupapocalypse@lemmy.world 39 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Cold_Brew_Enema@lemmy.world 43 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Blumpkin Blimpson is an amazing name

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[–] RangerJosie@lemmy.world 39 points 1 week ago (7 children)

That poor child will be bullied so hard. Its not like Jessica Simpson evaporated into fkin smoke. Lost to the ashes of time. The internet exists.

[–] watson387@sopuli.xyz 70 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Jessica Simpson doesn't even need to exist. Blessica is a stupid enough name on its own. Added to the fact that their last name has the word "blimp" in it and that kid is looking at a life of being made fun of.

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[–] kamen@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] ericatty@lemmy.ml 30 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Blisa

Maybe the Simpsons will still be on air...

[–] Archer@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] radiohead37@lemmynsfw.com 27 points 1 week ago

I don’t think Jessica Simpson is the concern here. A judge would definitely grant the petition for someone to change their name if they were named “Blessica Blimpson”. What a derp name.

[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Popular media is the worst place to find a name for your kid. Remember all the parents who named their daughters "Danerys," before she went insane in Season 8 and burned an entire city full of innocent people alive? I wonder how they feel about that choice now. That poor kid is doomed. You might as well give her a stripper name

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[–] mayhair@discuss.tchncs.de 14 points 1 week ago

Sub name is censored, but I can just tell that's r/namenerds.

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