Ask Lemmy

1- Exercise - I generally think that walking or running on trails in nature is one of those generally free beneficial thinks you can do for depression. Worse case scenario, you improve your fitness and feel better about the shape of your body.

2- Sleep - Yeah, this is a massive one, aim for at least 7-8 hrs. Regular exercise will help, but try to keep a relatively even sleep schedule (schedule yourself to be in bed without your phone by 10pm is a lazy but easy way to help).

3- Limit doomscrolling - Looking at the latest news about what craziness is happening in world probably isn't that amazing to do that often, so limit it a bit.

4- Diet - I'm vegetarian, and when I started years ago I noticed it really seemed to make my bouts of depression easier to handle. That being said, at the very least make sure you aren't eating too much junk food and try not to drink. If you aren't getting enough of a particular nutrient, take a multivitamin (magnesium is a pretty common deficit for most, and can affect your sleep).

5- Meditation - The act of breathing can occasionally give a bit of a break from the spiral of depressed thoughts, so it's no wonder that a lot of therapists tend to recommend it. Just start with 10 min a day and see if that helps any.

6 - Atmosphere - I know his can't always be helped, but just adjusting your living environment can make a tremendous difference. Try taking a day or so just to thoroughly clean your room/apt/house. Personally, my advice is to clean like you are trying to truly help someone you love/respect so that at the end you feel like no stone was left unturned.

7- Music - Kinda try to find some music you like that is soothing and try to like, and limit depressive or harsh music. Sounds stupid, but it helps some.

8- Psychedelics - A bit controversial, but I personally use shrooms long term to handle depression. They honestly have been the best long term depression maintenance I've found for the price. But truthfully, most of what they do is give you a few hours to step out of your emotions, and force you to actually look at yourself. They are basically just making you acknowledge the above for the most part, and after a trip if you don't make changes, they won't really help that much. Pro tip, a notebook to capture your stream of thought can be very helpful for post trip integrations.

Don't do it on your own, do it with other people.

I found that the more time I spent with other people, the less time I was spending beating myself up.

Professional help can be cheap! You just might have to look little harder. For a while, I saw a psychologist who had a deal with a church where they subsidized most of his fee. So it was super cheap for me.

One of the most helpful things for me was Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, CBT. I used a workbook that helped me see how skewed and untrue some of my thinking was.

Finally, walking in nature or, even better, exercise! Find what works for you. I like jump rope. Good luck!

Limit time spent online. Stop viewing the news. Improve the foods you're eating, if you can. Exercise. Go to a nice spot in nature, if your location allows, and appreciate natural beauty. Every day, think of one thing for which you are grateful.

You really shouldn’t fight depression solo. We’re social creatures. Trained therapists aren’t the only people who can help you, even a trusted friend or a random stranger in a free support group can do wonders.

Local support groups probably exist in your area. Sometimes they aren’t very visible, and being depressed certainly won’t help you find it.

I didn’t know about any in my area, since when I’m depressed I’m unable to look for those groups, and when I’m fine, i have no need to look. But after joining a local mutual aid board, i found out about quite a few resources that were fully free or extremely cheap (less than $50 us) when others asked for them.

If you are queer, a lot of queer support groups often have resources to help you out.

As for how I treated mine, exercise and hiking, finding scenic areas, avoiding alcohol (which i was bad at), and trying to live more “intentionally” and not getting into patterns that left me feeling hollow. For example, i tried spending less time gaming, and substituted that time with reading, since that made me feel less like I was wasting time and my life. I also tried learning to cook, since having good meals was great, and not constantly eating shit from a local fast food joint helped me stop rapidly gaining weight, which was certainly making things worse.

I also have a trusted friend who i talked to about some of my problems, and he helped me get through the worst parts. This was probably the most important part, and it got me on the path to getting out of that depressive episode.

When hurricane Milton hit I lost power, internet and my cell signal was like using dial up so all online access was gone for about a week. Sent the family to go stay with friends and I stayed behind. With no electricity and no internet all I had was myself. The first 2 or 3 days were tough. I didn't know what to do with myself so I cleaned and sat outside in the shade to escape the heat. By the end of the week I was in a good place, not perfect, but better than when I started. I was relaxed, my thoughts were clearer, I could comfortably focus on one thing at a time. I think knowing that after I was done focusing on something I could return to a comfortable quiet helped.

When power and internet came back within 2 days everything was back to 'normal'. No more peace. No more comfortable focusing. Back to my usual habits. I recommend disconnecting from phones and computers for a few weeks. Give your mind time to get into the habit of not using them, it's so easy to fall back into old habits, you have to set the stage for new ones to slowly grow, like trending a garden it takes time and effort.

One of best descriptions of self mental health care was from Rick and Morty. It's like wiping your ass, or washing the dishes. It's not fun but it's something you have to do everyday. You can suffer the pain of doing it, or suffer the pain of having not done it. Front load the pain don't offload it to your future self. Give future self a break, do some work for him/her and I know they'll be incredibly appreciative.

I'm my past when I was at my worst I noticed that I was in a better place when I was around people than when I wasn't. Be around people/friends if you can. Ask someone to spend party of a day with you doing absolutely anything.

Exercise until you know you will be sore the next day. I didn't exercise regularly, but I did notice that whenever I did some physical activity that left me sore the next day, within about 2 or 3 days I was a much better version of myself for a day or two.

So in conclusion. Do nice things for future self, even talk out loud to yourself about future you like they're someone else. Disconnect from Internet and tv so your mind can have some time to itself. Be around people, we are social animals, we need to feel like we are part of a group, a tribe, maybe go take some night classes that will force you to work on a project with others. Exercise or do something strenuous.

Oh and a couple more things, try to establish a regular sleep schedule! Someone mentioned this already and they're right, change your environment. Your mind and body will default to the feelings it's used to having in the place it most often has them. As an example, if you're a home pooper then when you get home your body will go into pooping mode. If you only use your bed to sleep and not look at your phone or watch tv then you will feel sleepy when you get in bed. New environments will put your mind into learning mode not default mode, keep finding ways to keep it from sitting back down into the depression it's left in the chair. Like that song, you can get used to a certain kind of sadness.

Okay one more thing, video games. I like playing them but I have a habit of using them like a drug. It feels good to use a drug, and when you hardly feel good why wouldn't you use it. You will play them again, and you'll enjoy them more after your mind has had some quite time to itself. You'll get to play again someday, you just have some mental chores that need tending to first.

Last thing I promise. Quite time is even better when done in nature. Any nature. Hundreds of thousands of years of evolution designed us to be in nature, part of nature. Quite time means no podcasts or music as well.

Now get out there and do the dishes, wipe your ass, and do something nice for future self, they fucking deserve it.

I used Ai to vent my problems to, and binged research papers. Read up on cognitive behavior therapy and the mechanics of depression.

I also made some big life changes and cut WAY back on drinking, but it took months and years to ease into the changes. Im still having shit days often, but can actually troubleshoot my mood and see why I'm depressed.

Half if it is don't dwell on the bad things and that is damn hard. You got to catch your brain thinking something like "im a fuck up", or "I get no benefit from $hobby". Once you catch it stop or distract the though, literally tell the thought to fuck off if that works for your head.

Once your ready start stacking little things like showing and walking a few laps around the house over time. Its sound like bs but it helps.

I have tried a couple different things, but they haven't really helped me.

I started running back in March. I used a free android app called Just Run and I bought myself a cheap smartwatch to track my distance. Like the app suggested, I take 1-2 rest days in between each run day...which seems to help me stay relatively consistent in doing exercises because it allows for breaks. It was more satisfying in the beginning being able to check off days in the app, but even then it only does so much. It provides a brief distraction I guess. I have tried to continue it because it's supposed to be good for you regardless. Although running really does suck ass haha.

Recently I have been trying to take an OTC supplement called St. John's Wort. It is one of the few supplements that has showed statistically significant results similar to SSRIs in clinical trials. However, do note that if you take literally any other medicine, please do not take it. It interferes with basically every other drug out there. But if you aren't on any meds it might be worth trying. I haven't found a noticeable difference with it either after trying it for several weeks. But I just bought a "better" brand and am planning to increase the dosage a bit (I was taking one less dose than recommended on the bottle), so we'll see if it does anything.

So yeah neither of these worked for me. But I've read that they have worked for others. It doesn't necessarily hurt to try them. Except like I said, please do NOT take St. John's Wort if you are taking any other medication.

Persist.

Keep at it; try again tomorrow.

Depression will rob you of joy, erode your appetite for life, and leave you blaming yourself for any/everything.

In those circumstances where you cannot defeat it, you can still outlast it.

Do what you can for yourself. When you can do no more, do what you can for the person you will be later, and, when you can do no more: forgive yourself.

Depression is a parasite and it's been eating your strength far longer than you realize.

Distract yourself into some offline activity which you love especially with someone you are comfortable with.

Once mind in place, deal with the problem which lead to depression in the first place. But if nothing can be done about the issue, then stop worrying about it. Work around it.

I make it look easy but I know its not.

This might be a weird one, but it is helping me a lot.

My deepest spirals into depression and alcohol abuse happen in the evening and at night.

I switched to waking up early (5am), focused on experiencing and enjoying sunrise as a kind of meditation, then going about my day. I'm off to bed by 8pm.

There's still days where I can't catch sleep for hours, mind racing. But hours past 8pm is still only 2am.

Exercise.

Cardiovascular and resistance exercise both release a chemical called BDNF, which causes hippocampal neurogenesis, which causes a decrease in depression.

After being on medication and in therapy for years, I basically lost my medical care and has to figure out a fallback strategy. Learned about this exercise connection, and changed my running habits from:

• About a mile
• About once or twice a month

To:

• About five miles
• Three times per week

The effect on my depression was profound. It was far more powerful than the medication and therapy

Recognize that it’s not your fault, you don’t deserve it, and sometimes accepting it for what it is makes it easier.

Hello. I am 51 and have been battling chronic, often severe, depression since 1989. I also found "professional help" ineffective on the psychology side and ultimately harmful on the psychiatry side (meds)...for me. I understand that they are helpful for most, but no two people are the same.

I have found that there is no one thing you can do. There is no "silver bullet". It will likely take a number of techniques and solutions in conjunction and others only when needed. Here are a few that might help, or might not.

• Fitness and Exercise - Yes, I know. The last thing you want to do is torture yourself further but, the effects can be immediate. Sometimes a strength and cardio workout can give you enough of a chemical kick in the ass to help you through at least part of your day.

• Bullet Journaling - Journaling is the most useful tip I got from a therapist, but it wasn't until I tried Bullet Journaling that I saw its potential. It is very easy to get lost in ourselves and lose all hope of anything ever being better. Keeping a journal, especially one as detailed and focused on your well-being as a bullet journal, can really help you realize tye progress you have made. It can also help you evaluate your past states of mind and possibly find relationships between those states of mind and things you have done. Maybe you notice a pattern between depressive episodes and eating steak or broccoli or chats with your sister, etc. Don't scoff, depression is fucking weird. Anyway, I highly recommend reading The Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Carroll. If money is an issue, you can probably find it in you local library system, used book stores, or 🏴‍☠️ if you must. I bought a copy used on Amazon for $6.

• Quit Alcohol - Sorry. Depression and alcohol consumption are besties and every time they get together, you pay the price. Not much more to say than that.

• Microdose - I personally don't think it is a good idea to get full on high. Again, we are not identical robots. Everyone has a different bio-chemical system, but abuse of any one substance never tends to work out well. That said, microdosing weed literally saved my life. I won't go into details but chronic and severe insomnia had me a the edge of suicide. The meds I was being given were not helping and they were literally stealing "me" from myself. Two puffs from a vape pen before bed (not enough to get me proper high) gave me a solid five to six hours of sleep (I was getting 60-90 minutes before).

• Diet - Eat as clean as you can. The less processed food and ingredients the better (looking at you sugar). Eat balanced. Instead of making meat the centerpiece of the meal, try making the enhancement. Lots of greens, legumes, fruit, etc, on your plate to go along with your small piece of protein. EDIT: This one is important not only for nutrition but also because of your microbiome. There is increasing evidence of links between microbiotic gut health and mental health. But also, you need good nutrition.

• Hydrate - I struggle with this one too.

• Interact with others in person - I am not saying that you need friends and family, or that you need to surround yourself by loving relationships, etc. All that sounds great, but isn't on the cards for many people. It also comes with the risk of introducing toxic people or relationships into your life. What I mean is, try to make an effort to engage with the humans around you, even if it is superficial. I small talk with my cashier at the market, my waiter, etc. I try to engage with others as often as I can. It is low risk because if they don't respond you can move on and you will never see them again, and even if you do, they will likely not remember you. Just don't keep trying with that one person if it didn't work previously. Don't be creepy. The point is that our stupid monkey brains need that. We do not do well with absolute isolation.

• Sunlight - You need it.

• Recognize and remove toxic people and relationships from your orbit - The word "orbit" is on purpose. I do mean directly from your life, that should be obvious, but I also mean from your vicinity. Maybe you hang with someone who's nice but they are in a toxic relationship. You don't need that energy around you, especially if that person is just an acquaintance (we overuse the word friend when we often mean close acquaintance). This might sound cold but you need to save yourself before you even think about trying to save others. Otherwise your depressed ass might do more harm than good.

Remember, these are just opinions. No two people are the same. You need to find what works for you.

You're probably in a better place than most severely depressed people because you think that you can get better! Probably the best thing to do is keep a growth mindset and try to learn as much as you can about depression. Getting over depression is a journey.

Lots of other people have said running & friends, those things help me. But recently/now I am depressed and running 40 miles a week and seeing my friends regularly.

What's a really cheap solution? Pirate some bibliotherapy books! Feeling good by David D. Burns is older, but I'm reading it right now and it seems like a really solid CBT book. I would also recommend "Adult children of emotionally immature parents". It helped me understand why I am the way I am

The hardest part for me is noticing when my thoughts are turning situations from good or neutral into bad situations. Paying attention to your thoughts in an objective way is hard! But some sort of mindfulness practice can help.

Journaling can be useful! You can train your brain to look for good things by writing out 3 good things that happened or you did every night.

Once a day, think of one simple thing that a depressed person would not do. Do that. For some examples:

• Take even the shortest walk around the neighborhood.
• Read just ten pages of any book.

Also, think of something that you do especially when depressed, and avoid doing it. For some examples:

• Don't watch TV
• Don't scroll on social media

Sometimes habits become compulsive, you can do a lot for yourself by adding even a small amount of friction to doing those things. For some examples:

• When I notice that I go through periods of poor sleep due to habitually reaching for my phone, I might remove the charger from my phone and put it in a living area and charge it there at night. I might prepare 8 hours of podcasts and connect my Bluetooth before bed so I can have something to take my mind off things in case wake up or cannot sleep.
• Simply logout of social media sites, so that I'm forced to take a deliberate action to log back in to start doom scrolling again.

For more proactive maintenance things I try to do, which are important to establish when I'm mentally in a good place, I might make a weekly list of happy chores, like make sure I talk to a family member, make sure I talk to a friend, make sure I actually see someone in person, or play a video game in a way that I'm making progress at it, or spend 10 minutes practicing an instrument.

You need to exploit your good times to establish patterns of good habits for your hard times.

Honestly, running, walking alone in the park, listening to music, reading about depression to comprehend if what I am feeling is concerning.

Running: As I run, I try to focus on my pacing, my breathing, and I stop when I get tired, when I'm DONE, that I think helps because all of the endorphins released. Walking alone in the park: This also helps me because I get to see nature, watching birds or squirrels going about their business relaxes me, and also I try to treasure those little moments as mine. Listening to music: And I mean REALLY listening to music, focus on the whole song or different parts of it makes me appreciate it more and it can make me feel immerse in it.

To me it's not a magic cure to depression but it helps a lot when I'm feeling down, I know everybody is different but this is what helps me.

If you try to battle depression and can't for some reason, looking for professional help is key, don't let it grow or it will consume you.

Stay strong my friends.

This'll probably get drowned but I managed to beat depression before flying off the deep end and developing psychotic symptoms.

Had depression for 12 years before I decided to put work in it. 6 years ago, I didn't know how to, or what to expect. Figured if I spent 10 years depressed, it would take 10 years to recover. It ended up taking about 3.5 to 4 years of remission. I didn't take any medication or drugs. Only addiction I got is videogaming. Still haven't beaten that.

I'll try to keep it chronological, but it's hazy. What I did was:

1. The opposite of what I had been doing my life up till that point.

I was digging my own grave, but didn't understand what I was doing wrong. So I did everything ass backwards to find out what did and didn't contribute to my own misery. For me, that meant saying what's on my mind, embarassing myself and learning from it. Trial and error is the way to go for paupers. That and radical acceptance that it's gonna suck. Gotta welcome shit with open arms when cleaning your psychic septic tank.

2. Change of enviroment.

In my case. It meant a change of goals. The first was getting better. The second was learnibg something new. Got lucky I had a 2nd chance at studying towards a new work field. But it can be anything else. Just something on the horizon. Mind you, don't focus on it. The thing to look out for, is useful as a distraction, and only as a distraction. It's a bad source of motivation as the future isn't real. It can become the now, but the future itself never is real. Focus on the now, with just something to look out for. At this stage, you'll still won't understand the point of it all, so just accept you don't. Take it 1 day at a time. Only look back or at the future on occasion. You won't see a change every week, but over time, you might.

First change in depression I noticed was the ability to feel negative emotions. For me, it was anger. Pure rage. Never had I understood what seeing red, white hot fury or hothead meant. Felt like a hot rock was lodged between my skull and top of my brain. I realised I had never been angry. Anger is a double edged sword. The positive side is that it's there to fight injustice. Your injustice. The bad side is seeking dominance or control over something. The only thing you should seek control over, is yourself and how you handle life. Not others, or things that can't be controlled.

Then the hormonal changes occurred. I became restless, and my ADHD symptoms got worse real quick. Had tons of energy. Had no libido before, and suddenly did. Depression affects everything. So expect weird shit during remission. Nothing to be afraid of.

About a year in or so doing step 1 and living inside step 2, I beat anhedonia. It was like background radiation. Except instead of cancer, it gives you energy. Just a tiny hum of joy in the background. Doing new things becomes rewarding. Doing something for the sake of doing it becomes rewarding. Fun is an understatement. And it isn't some intense dopamine hit either. It just is background joys. And man, it is damn worth it.

3. Exercise. I had tried on and off to hit the gym. I kept trying for years before, and still failed now. Even got sick for a year due to shitty night shifts messing with my circadian rythmn. In hind sight, I wonder how much it contributed to my psychotic symptoms, considering it was cortisol related. Lockdown from the 'rona saved my ass who couldn't set healthy boundaries.

2 years in, I did something I never done before. Applying for a job just for the hell of it. You start doing stuff because of an intrinsic drive, and not because "it's the sensible thing to do."

When you're depressed and passively suicidal, you don't understand the point of living. Anhedonia and motivational anhedonia are the reason you can't understand it. And man, was it a radical discovery. Suddenly, it just "makes sense" why people want to live. Because hell, I wanted to live!

3. Exercise again.

Attempt #godknows. 3 months of weekly exercise it took to learb to enjoy sports. I didn't lose any weight, but my obese ass was able to keep running 9km/h for 15min straight. Ate healthy for the most part too. Felt good despite being fat as fuck. Did wonders for my confidence.

Got lucky and built up some friends. Never really had any before.

4. Figure out your maturity, and deal with family. Generational trauma galore.

Like anyone else, I have family issues. My parents aren't mature people, and expecting them to change is... stupid. But I still saw my mom hurting, and hurting others as a result. Mostly my sister and I. I wanted understand her. She was born from a mess, into a mess, and made a mess of her family because she doesn't know any better. She scores high in narc traits and ADHD. Allround, a difficuly person to be around with.

Perfect for learning how to navigate diffocult relationships. Learning what's okay, and what isn't. Learning how to set boundaries, and discovering they mean nothing to someone who doesn't respect you. Boundaries are only respected by those who respect you. In all other cases, boundaried are only respected if you can enforce them. Seems like a yah-duh moment. But it's not something I understood. Learned it through trial and error, with the luck of a narc for a mom to practice on.

And by some miracle, we made progress. I know how to get her guard down. The source of her bad behaviour is survival mode. Who could have thought there was a human being behind a manipulative monster? One who beat her 6yo daughter for wandering off. One who aborted a 3 month pregnancy because she felt it was going to be a boy, and she didn't want a son. I'm sorry bro, but you dodged a bullet. She would have treated you worse than my sister and I.

Point is, you don't know shit. And your family history shapes you. You take over their bad traits, and it's your choice on whether you want to become like them, or learn to deal with it and grow as a person.

5. Don't move the bar.

Shit stranger. You get this far in recovery? It's a fucking miracle you did. Keep doing what you're doing and don't move the bar.

Because if you keep doing that, you'll end up like me.

Every time you raise the bar on yourself, you'll lose that background joy. Your motivation will vaporize. Take health for example. Move the bar too often and going to the gym isn't enough anymore. You'll start looking too much at the horizon, other people and it'll all start seeming pointless. You'll feel less and less in control. Not saying you should take baby steps, but you ought to stick to your own shit. To what you are doing, not what you desire. That's how you make progress.

Raising the bar, is the fastest way to redevelop anhedonia and relapse into depression.

My fall:

Shit fam. Wish I could offer better experience. But life didn't turn out well due to some stuff I hadn't forseen snowballing into an avalanche.

In case you want to know. Had some issues that required mental health care. Jury is still out on it. Most likely untreated PTSD, untreated ADHD and just neglectid autism (diagnosed). DID, bipolar disorder, early psychosis, brain tumor, dementia, etc. Are all good guesses too. Or just the result of things going poorly. Print the DSM-5, strap it onto a board and throw some darts at it. Whatever it lands on, is as good a guess I suppose.

Past 2 years I've been fighting chaos, rather than my mental problems. From my GP not taking me seriously and turning 7 months of waiting into 15 (and I still consider myself lucky). Along with downplaying my issues. "You don't have ADHD, autism makes things difficult too." Lo and behold. I scored high on a DIVA test, the neuroscientists I got the privilage to work for saw my traits, the professionals who I got lucky to meet saw my traits. But the one person whom I depended on, didn't think I had ADHD. Must all be in my little woman's head. Imagining things. Well lady, that's kind of the problem now. "The hallucinations are stress related." Geez thanks, tell me something I didn't know. How do I make sure they don't get worse? "Just keep me posted." I did, and it got bad real fast. Personality changes my family saw. "I don't think I can make you happy with a 1 year waiting list. Luckily this one instance happens to be open for referrals and only 2 months wait." Those 2 months are almost over and I'm crawling.

Another instance that was supposed to help me, went bankrupt. At the time I was at step 3-4 and thought "I can do it without!" That failure was picked up by a new instance. One that railed me the past 2 years. I was again dealing with trying to get a ball rolling, rather than my issues.

Look. Any place that has a high turnover rate is bad. A mental health facility that has a high turnover rate, is a laboratory waste dumpster fire.

People quit, only psychiatrist available was spiritual. Something I can't work with. Internally waiting, and waiting. Appointments canceled last minute due to planners fucking up. Next week, 3 strangers and the 1 guy who saved me, are going to make a descision. The 3 strangers are the new folks taking in a spot for those who quit. Never met them. What a circus.

Now I have to face the fact I can't function at work anymore. Having episodes where I remember shit, feel stress, and forget about it. Can't sense my own exhaustion proper, while rest and sleep are the only things that stave off the 'chosis. Except cortisol derps make sleep difficult. I'm aggressive and have attacked family members twice in 1 year. I feel bloodlust. Can't have that happen at work. The only reason I'm allowed to drive, was because I had a grip on my early stages, and work was too important to me. Monday is gonna suck.

Hyperfocus is what got me through the last 3 months. Thank fuck for having a "safe" addiction to videogames.

I want death, but fuck me. Promised myself 6 years ago that I would give it my all. I'll make sure to off myself before I kill someone else.

It’s so ironic how almost everyone tells you to go get professional help, but I guess that’s the best option.

One simple thing you can do is workout. It’s physically painful so you can forget about the harsh reality for a moment, plus you’ll become (physically) healthier.

Very unsuccessfully, I've been fighting this fight for over 30 years in and out of the care of doctors, luckily right now I have insurance so I'm just out copays and whatever fees the psychiatrist's office decides to send my way but it's worth it because I'm stable. Without professional help I pile on distractions, hobbies, overwork, volunteering, etc. Not a healthy coping strategy, I've tried to kill myself twice (the last time earned me a 4 day medically induced coma) and been put on psychiatric hold. I know you said poor people can't afford it but there are clinics where I live that deal almost exclusively with the homeless, if they can find a way to help them they may be able to help people in better financial positions who still can't afford treatment on their budget.

Edit: to address your question more productively, one of the things I've been doing on my own is writing to myself. I have been thinking about my situation and identifying behaviors that I need to change. When I go through my days I don't really consider my actions but when sit and really think about it I can see what I am doing that is toxic, then when I start to do it again it's easier to identify in the moment and attempt to alter whatever I would have previously done, e.g. when I am frustrated with something one of my kids has done I used to yell quite a lot, now I excuse myself to a quiet place, calm down a bit, and then go back to address their behavior. I haven't even seen my counselor since my last suicide attempt (less than 3 weeks ago) but I found that this has helped me immensely.

It's very difficult, and in the end, it comes down to finding things that work for you, but in my experience, doing it "on my own" is virtually impossible. Humans need social interaction and often help, especially when battling with mental illness. That being said, there are some things that help most people.

1. Exercise - you don't need to run a marathon or lift free weights, but any kind of exercise, including walking, can have a big boost on mental health. If you can, working up a sweat can help release more endorphins (and also helps motivate me to take a shower when I'm struggling with hygiene).

2. Sleep - prioritize getting good sleep. This has a huge effect on your mental health, and lack of sleep makes intrusive thoughts more difficult to ignore. If you suffer from suicidal ideation, this can be very beneficial. It can also help set up a routine for exercise, hygiene, etc. if you have more consistent bed and awake times.

3. Eating healthy- this is hard, because often when depressed we go for unhealthy foods, which make us feel bad, so we eat more of them and it perpetuates the cycle. If you really struggle with this start by making small changes - find a fruit or vegetable you genuinely enjoy and start incorporating more into your diet. Learning some basic cooking skills can also make healthy eating more enjoyable.

4. reduce drug and alcohol use (if any) - these can be excellent short term solutions, but will often make you feel worse in the long run

5. find someone to talk to - online resources help, but there's no substitute for genuine in person (or over the phone) interaction. This can be harder said than done if you're older or in an area where it's hard to meet people. Support groups are also excellent- there's something very empowering about being surrounded by folks experiencing the same challenges you do every day.

6. practice gratitude- take some time every day to thing of things you are genuinely thankful for. Supposedly, the brain can't think or negative things while you are thinking of positive ones. Even if that's not true, taking time to appreciate the good things in your life (even if it's something small like your morning coffee) can help redirect your thought process.

Lastly, understand you can do all the "right" things to battle depression and still be depressed. No amount of exercise or vegetables will suddenly make you better - you will likely still have bad days. That's why, for me, it's important to have people I know I can call and talk to (my brother being a big one right now). We don't even really talk, I just call him and cry talk for a bit and eventually it doesn't hit so hard.

Give yourself some credit for all the bad days you've been through- if you weren't strong, you wouldn't have made it this far. Good luck! I'm rooting for you!

Save your energy, reduce sugar and glutene, sleep well, reduce distractions, exercise.

Also what you said to not tell you.

You don't have to go to a specialist to get antidepressants; many GPs will prescribe them if you ask. I also see a lot of online clinics offering prescriptions without an in-person appointment, but I don't have personal experience with that. The standard antidepressants are fairly safe and I wouldn't be too worried about side effects to take them without a psychiatrist's supervision. Nothing except antidepressants worked to end my depressive episodes, as opposed to making them easier to bear.

Other than that, what helped me most was realizing that I couldn't trust my own thoughts. It's hard, because generally "X is true" and "I think X is true" are subjectively the same thing. When I went through periods of depression, I sincerely believed that I had never been happy and that my depression would never end, but as a matter of fact I had been happy (or at least reasonably content) for most of my life and prior episodes of depression had ended. Being able to realize that I had actually been happy and probably would be again, despite what felt true in that moment, made depression much more bearable.

Another key intervention for me was moving closer to my family. It felt like a huge defeat (here I was, an adult who couldn't handle living on his own) but I told myself "plan based on who you are, not who you wish you were". Having supportive people around helped a lot; when I'm depressed I don't want to be around other people but that is actually the wrong strategy. "I just want to be alone" is one of those thoughts that I shouldn't trust.

Finally, a really useful mental strategy is to consider what advice you would give to a good friend in a situation similar to your own, and then to act on that advice yourself. My depression was accompanied by a great deal of self-loathing but that loathing didn't extend to my friends (even my imaginary friends). I found that I often knew exactly what advice I would give a friend, and it wasn't to do what I had been planning to do.

1. Sadness and depression are chemical events in your brain that you have no conscious control over
2. You can consciously control some of the common triggers that lead to negative thoughts but most people can't completely turn off given thoughts
3. Your brain is like the earth and thoughts are like rivers, the more you think certain ways the more you will continue to think those ways, neural pathways are strengthened by their activations

Learn to redirect, wear a bracelet or similar physical reminder of a specific thing you like, when you experience the thoughts you want to avoid, redirect and focus on the things you like

Change your environment, identify triggers that push you toward depression and avoid them. Some literally cannot be avoided, and some situations are impossible to escape, in those cases accept the associated negativity and redirect

Find people who have the attitudes and feelings you want to emulate and spend time with them, we are social and learn much from our peers

Ingest media that aligns with your desired world view, avoid tragedies, horror movies, gore, popular doom news media, etc. This will force you into an echo chamber but it is a popular coping technique

Most important you are your own person, write down how you feel and what triggered those emotions every day. You can't really know if you're improving if you don't have a record

You post stuff like this a lot. You keep talking about being lonely, or about being sad, or things in that same spiral. You clearly know what the answer is, but you refuse to listen to it or accept it, but you STILL ask the question. At a certain point, I have to wonder if you LIKE being miserable.

As harsh as it is to say, I think you need to get over yourself.

Get help. If you can't afford a pro, get an amateur to talk to. There are low-cost helplines and support groups around the world. Don't just come up with a reason why you can't do it. You can. All that remains is whether or not you will.

Steps

1. Have hope. Believe that it's possible to get better.
2. Practice. Try something, anything, that might actually help.
3. Keep going. Maintain the ritual, show up to practice, keep trying.
4. Reflect. At some point if it's not working that's fine go to step 1.

If you have depression with a medical cause, the only solution is going to be medicine.

I had depression for about 20 years and ignored it because I thought it would be too expensive and complicated.

One time I mentioned it to my GP at my free annual checkup. He wrote me a script for Lexapro. Even when I didn't have insurance, it has never cost over $20 for a month supply.

It has been worth countless times that to me, and one of my biggest regrets was not just asking sooner and assuming and taking other people's word it was complicated and expensive to get help.

As mentioned in another reply, try the teledoc and see if they can give you something. There are a few cheap types these days so you can hopefully get one that works for you.

Best of luck, it is truly life changing!

I know your point. Access to professional help is a privilege that few have.

I think next best thing is socialising. There's probably groups in your area (see social media for that, meetup, Facebook, forums) that meet up and talk. I highly recommend in-person meetings. Also I tried giving my body some help with food. Carbs give you some serotonin.

Exercise every day. Eat decent food and get good sleep. Practice mediation. Find artistic hobbies that you enjoy.

Look at online options, some of them are fairly. So are some of the drugs. If it's a chemical imbalance, like it was for me, you literally can't fight it on your own. All you can do is exist.

Lots of good advice here, so I'll add a few easy things that helped me that don't take much energy. 1: get at least five minutes of direct sunlight a day, not through a window. 2: take an iron and vitamin D supplement, having more energy makes me less depressed. Try a multi vitamen if you don't know where to start. 3: making sure you have healthier snack foods, I swapped out candy for gummy fruit snacks, yogurt for ice cream. I know how hard it can be to eat real meals when you are struggling so make your snacks count positively.

So much good advice, I find being grateful for things really helps, and I would also recommend CBT. Good luck, and remember, one step at a time, one day at a time.

I found the book "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns to be extremely helpful. It teaches you the most common method therapists use (cognitive behavior therapy). Like therapy, you need to continually practice it for it to be useful.

Practicing mindfulness can also be very beneficial.

If it's available in your area, Ketamine therapy (not recreational ketamine) has been shown to act as a rapid antidepressant. In the US, there are at home ketamine providers that you can consult online. There's a popular low-dose provider that includes provider visits and medication for $129/month, if you qualify.

imo, it takes a kind of effort to be constantly "aware" and "battling/ avoiding" depression. it would be nice if the brain just auto-switches in battle-mode but that's not its natural state.

As for how I battle my own, I do hobbies like plants, walking and reading; and sleeping. Sometimes I do cheat days.

Severe treatment resistant depression here, not able to be controlled through medication, will never feel good yadda yadda.

I find goal setting is very important. "I just have to make it to X" then just move the goal post.

I think the usual recs are things like start small and consistent and take care of your physical health (not over/under sleeping, good diet and exercise, keeping yourself and home clean, etc), hobbies, cultivate relationships, etc but if you're not able to take the steps to make those things happen you may need a professional's help who can offer things like talk therapy, behavior therapy, medicine, etc. i.e. If I have a sprained ankle I can keep weight off it and wrap it to let it heal, but if it's a break I'd need a doctor to maybe set the break and cast it to get it to heal properly, similar for mental health some stuff you can do yourself but some stuff takes someone else trained to heal or help identify the difference between the two.

Recently someone recommended a book about this topic. I haven't read it (yet), but I found the title quite fascinating. It was in German, so I'm trying to translate:

"Do not believe everything that you think".

Mindfulness, if you can get your hands on it, read Why Buddhism is True.

Telling myself: "There will be better days ahead". Repeating that motto in the darkest moments helped a bit. Reading the stories of people who experienced depression but pulled through. And lastly, keeping busy. It's not ideal, but doing anything that requires focus kept me from introspecting. And that ended badly generally.