57
I need to vent (please) (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

I'm so tired of the healthcare system. I work as a nurse for one of the largest and most reputable organizations in the US. And getting culturally competent care is ridiculous. There are only 2 providers in the entire organization who are willing to take trans patients, and I'm outside of their geographic area (never mind the fact I was given a referral by the trans specialty clinic when I explained I don't need transition services, just a doctor that knows the basics of lgbtq health).

I know people have it worse than me, but it's still bullshit I can't just call and make an appointment. This is already the third round of calls I've had to make just to get an appointment set up.

I think the worst part is I had a job in gender affirming care I was fired from (for daring to suggest we have signs for our clinic, or trans patients be able to call the regular line). I loved the work and the patients, and it felt so good to be able to help people like me get the care they need in a respectful and competent manner. But now I'm back to taking care of old, entitled, and almost exclusively white cis het patients. I hate being part of a system that perpetuates disparities, but I'm stuck because I can't find any way to provide this care without earning another degree.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I'm a nurse. Does that count as "blue collar"? Because I absolutely need to shower after 12 hours in the hospital.

30
Online chat communities? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

Not sure if this is the place to post, but I've moved a lot recently and there aren't really any queer folks where I live. I'm looking for some kind of discord or something to chat and vent and just feel a little less alone.

I'm pretty old and I've "completed" my transition, and I'm always happy to share my experiences or knowledge if people are interested.

And apologies if this isn't the right spot for this post.

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 56 points 4 months ago

This is what I don't get. I'm a nurse, and since I (ostensibly) have people's lives in my hand, we are checked and double-checked, have to do continual education, and literally everything we do needs to be documented and audited.

And our goal is always to prevent harm to the patient. Why do people who can legally end someone's life not have the same, or much more strict, standards (I'm asking this rhetorically, I don't really want an answer).

It seems like adapting medical licensing and reporting requirements would help get us on the right track, or at the very least help hold police accountable.

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 7 months ago

I don't think it helps the manager I reported to doesn't work with trans patients, and I only saw her when I needed something (like an IT request). Definitely put her subconscious interpretation of me as "someone needy".

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 36 points 7 months ago

Have an appointment tomorrow. Don't know if it constitutes legal discrimination, but I'm almost tempted to bring it even if it's not a slam dunk. They care so much about reputation a lawsuit would hurt them more than I ever could.

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 7 months ago

Thank you. Already had a meeting scheduled with a lawyer tomorrow.

I just wanted to do some good. I didn't even get a chance to pass off my patients.

166
Fired from my dream job (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

Moved up to the "Big City" in October. Today I was fired by a woman with a smile on her face.

My biggest complaints were being isolated from my peers, not having enough work to do, and not receiving feedback on my work performance directly.

I was accused of working outside of scope, not being able to separate my personal feelings from work, and not responding to doctors in a timely fashion. No specific or documented instances of any of these accusations were provided to me.

So now I'm alone, in a way more expensive city, with about the same amount it cost to move here left in the bank.

I think I'm done with healthcare. As a trans person, working inside of it is fucking awful, especially in large hospital organizations. I don't think it helps I graduated from nursing school in 2020.

What now? This was my dream job, at an organization (I thought) had their shit together. It was a nightmare on the inside - no support, no community. Call staff couldn't "handle" trans patients, so we have to call a separate line that might have someone call you back.

I came up with so many ideas, ways to improve, best practices we aren't following. Patients getting dead named and misgendered in charts, at the pharmacy, to their face. Asleep in the OR during surgery.

I've never been more confused about a job ending. I literally said I would do anything, work overtime, adapt my style, learn 6 different specialties, anything I could to help.

They never even listened to me. Why did they bring me all this way just to ignore me?

The worst part, I think, is that I don't know if I will ever really trust another human the same way. I thought this was a safe place where I could talk openly about what was deficient, and how to alleviate that. But I did that, and they didn't want to hear it, and now I'm on my own again.

I really thought we could build something truly special. I guess I'm just disappointed I'll never get a chance to see what that could have been.

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 7 months ago

Your typo gave me the mental image of my cat as an autobot. 10/10

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 7 months ago

Anyone. It isn't about my physical characteristics. I just want to help people and instead I just get ridiculed and critiqued. I'm tired of being alone and sad. My cat is the only reason I haven't killed myself, and I don't know how much longer he can hold that dam.

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 7 months ago

I do, the longer it's been the shorter they are (almost 10 years now). My trigger is seeing someone, usually in a TV or movie, take that long, exaggerated drag.

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 8 months ago

As a trans girl, I get a lot of interest from other trans girls, so it checks out for me.

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 9 months ago

I'm working to set up connections to folks in Canada that will be willing to relocate LGBTQ folks across the border.

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 9 months ago

Grindr. Cause I'm sure you want to see the ads, lol

183
Grammar rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

Come correct or don't cum at all.

[-] mjsaber@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Just want to comment on the "trap is ok/not ok debate."

It's totally cool if you or your partner(s) identity as a trap. As an older trans girl, being a trap was a badge of honor. It meant not only do you pass, but you're fucking hot. Almost like a trap/not trap distinction of attractiveness (which is also horribly misogynistic and demeaning), but it was a qualifier.

So I get it, part of me likes the idea of being called that - in a private, contextual sense. But the problem is the word and the connotation it has in the general zeitgeist, which implies that a trans person (typically a trans woman) "tricks" a man into having sex with her, and then deserves whatever happens to her, regardless of how dehumanizing it may be.

It is the horrible, completely unjustifiable rationale behind the Panic Defense, and that's why it is a term that needs to be buried. Continued use of it is an unconscious signal that trans women are perpetrating some kind of deception just by existing in a man's field of vision (if, of course, she comes close enough to cis white heteronormtive standards of beauty).

Be woke. Don't say trap (except in the bedroom. And then smack my ass a little 😋).

246
White sauce rule (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

I'd say about 100% of my woes could be solved by covering me in a creamy, white sauce.

1

I just got my dream job helping run a trans healthcare program, and I'm looking for input from the community on on what would make you feel more comfortable or engaged with your medical provider. We provide everything from HRT to surgery to non-trans medical care. My goal is to have the happiest, healthiest patients in the country!

43
view more: next ›

mjsaber

joined 1 year ago