this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
1247 points (98.9% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26673 readers
4484 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ABCDE@lemmy.world 254 points 3 weeks ago (9 children)

I know someone who has something tattooed on him: in Thai.

As in, it's a phrase which says 'in Thai' in Thai. So when people ask him, what is that? He says 'it's in Thai'. They say yes, but what is it? 'It's 'in Thai''. Yes, but...

You get the idea.

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 147 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Some guy came up to me when I first joined the military and told me "hey I got your name tattooed on my ass. Don't believe me?"

Sure enough there was "YOUR NAME" tattooed on his ass check. I'm pretty sure he just liked showing people his ass.

[–] Siethron@lemmy.world 53 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Was it a nice ass at least?

[–] bricklove@midwest.social 30 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It has to be if your name is on it

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm thinking that's a combination of a lost bet and some cleverness.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MinorLaceration@lemmy.world 58 points 3 weeks ago

I have a tattoo that means "I don't know, I don't speak japanese." It works when an English speaker asks me what it means, and it also worked with the Japanese when I lived in Japan and didn't speak the language.

[–] fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.com 55 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

This is like setting your guest WiFi password to "It's on the wall over there."

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 32 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)
[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 1 points 1 day ago

My lord, just show a QR code from your settings, then!

[–] Aqarius@lemmy.world 29 points 3 weeks ago

I knew a barista that set the wifi pass to "ten bucks".

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 28 points 3 weeks ago

My sister's first year in college she got the Chinese word for LOVE tattooed. Later she found out it was the correct symbol, only mirrored. I called her EVOL for a while

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 190 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

In high school there was a Chinese girl who hung out with us. We were at at an arcade after school one day, and this guy comes up to her. She's 16. He's 40. He says something like "Hey baby, check this out!"

He takes off his shirt to reveal a not at all impressive body. But his chest had something tattood on it in Chinese.

She goes wide eyed, and runs off. When we caught up to her (obviously without the guy) she's having trouble breathing, because she's giggling so hard. Just try to visualize that. It's not a belly laugh, it's a giggle, but she's giggling so hard she's wheezing.

Now she spoke full perfect english, and only had a slight barely noticable accient. But when we asked her what was so funny, she went full stereotype Chinese voice from how amused she was at the tattoo.

"His chest.....it say ASSHOOOOEEEE!!!" (She was saying asshole, but I typed it phonetically how she said it, and with the enthusiasm she said it).

She just burried her face in her hands, and had the biggest giggle fit I've ever seen. She later said "He must have been an asshole to the tattoo artist. He'll never know!"

[–] Varyk@sh.itjust.works 50 points 3 weeks ago

宫保鸡丁

kung pao chicken.

he thought it was super funny, like he was in on the joke.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] undergroundoverground@lemmy.world 169 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I knew a guy who had "bad to the bone" written on his neck in Chinese. The problem is, the phrase doesn't translate at all.

So, his tattoo read as "my bones are bad"

Tbf, he was a clown and had something like that coming.

[–] bricklove@midwest.social 68 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

Now the day I was born The nurses all gathered 'round And they gazed in wide wonder At the horror they had found The head nurse spoke up Said, "Leave this one for dead" She could tell right away That my bones were bad

My bones are bad My bones are bad B-B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-B-Bad B-B-B-B-Bad

My bones are bad

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Mine is similar. On my forearm,not my neck (yuck). It's supposed to be "blood and guts". Literal translation equals something about "inside organs".

I'm okay with that. If you actually discuss the meaning of it works out fine.

I got that tattoo because I actually work with "blood and guts" as a Paramedic.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 137 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Siegfried@lemmy.world 57 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Ehm... isn't "日本" = "Japan" both in chinese and japanese?

Thats what google translate is telling me anyway

[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 44 points 3 weeks ago

That's actually hilarious.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 119 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Not the first time I've Lemmied this story, and it's not a tattoo it's a motorcycle decal. Kid turns up on a Kawasaki forum to show off his Ninja's paint scheme, and on the front cowling are five kanji figures, the first and the third were identical. Someone asked "Why does your bike say 'pig dog pig bird horse?'" He says "Nah man, it says N-I-N-J-A. That's how you spell 'Ninja' in Japanese."

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 98 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I was thinking of getting 何か日本語で "nanika nihongo de" and if someone would ask me what it meant I’d say "something in Japanese"

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 29 points 3 weeks ago

I had a roommate that asked me for ideas for a tattoo and I told him to just get 'Chinese Symbols' written in all caps on him.

The amazing bastard did it.

[–] v4ld1z@lemmy.zip 17 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

well, I'll bite. What's it mean?

[–] rustyricotta@lemmy.ml 44 points 3 weeks ago

Literally "something in Japanese"

[–] gurapo@lemmy.pt 26 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Jumi@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] Huschke@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Something in Japanese! What's on my back?

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (6 children)
load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I've wanted to get Leviticus 19:18 tattooed on me somewhere prominently for years, but too many people would not get the joke and think I was religious.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 96 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Hentai Gaijin

Also reminds me of this story of a guy who wanted to have his name tattooed in Japanese. His name is Gary. And in Japanese it’s written in Katakana like this ゲリ but Gary didn’t think that looked cool and wanted to have it written in Kanji. So the artist gave him a tattoo of 下痢 which is pronounced as geri. Which actually means diarrhea.

Not sure if it’s true but would be funny as hell if it was.

[–] SuperApples@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

Geri is my favourite Indonesian crackers, but not so much the chocolate ones...

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Aggravationstation@feddit.uk 88 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

In Wales road signs are printed in both English and Welsh. When a new sign was being made someone sent the English part to a translator, who's out of office message was in Welsh. They assumed that message was the translation and printed it on the sign.

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/mistranslated-welsh-traffic-sign/

Not a translation error but the worst tattoo I ever saw on someone was a guy with a bloody tampon tramp stamp.

[–] bitwaba@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

bloody tampon tramp stamp

"bloody" as in bloody idiot, or "bloody" as in black pudding?

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 16 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

My guy. My dude. My man.

Do you know what a tampon is / does? You might be able to infer from that alone.

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 67 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I remember seeing a FB post ages ago, of some dude saying that he went to Japan to tattoo "God is faithful" in Japanese because he didn't trust local tattooists to write it right. The post was a photo of the tattoo on the dude's arm.

Someone pointed that it said something along the lines of "idiot stranger".

Mr "I went to Japan" complained that was impossible, because he went to Japan.

The other person posted a screenshot of the kanji on google translate and lo, "idiot stranger"

[–] lugal@lemmy.world 36 points 3 weeks ago (7 children)

Even the premise: why would you want a Christian message in Japanese?

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 18 points 3 weeks ago

Some guesses: it looks cool, it makes people curious to ask "what's that supposed to mean?", the dude was a christian otaku

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 52 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (14 children)

I never tattooed it on myself, or anyone else, but I used to work at a local greasy spoon, and knew a Professor of English that came in regularly, who was originally from China. I asked him for the name specific characters that phonetically made up the syllables of my and my girlfriend's names, he went to wait for his food, and came back with the characters he thought would work best. I used those to burn the characters into the weed stash box that she and I had made.

We told everyone that asked that we had no clue what it actually meant, it just sounded like our names.

load more comments (14 replies)
[–] ntma@lemm.ee 46 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

You know it's some ancient post because it had awards.

[–] glitchdx@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago

it's old, because it has reddit silver, but it's not that old, because it has reddit silver.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 45 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Unfortunately, it's been dead for a couple of years now, but this blog used to translate everyone's Asian-language tattoos.

A significant number of them use characters that are not from any language at all.

Quite a few that do have meanings are pretty funny, sometimes are quite ironic too.

https://hanzismatter.blogspot.com/

Edit: I forgot about this, but it's still on the front page of that blog and I laughed all over again.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 37 points 3 weeks ago

That is actually the same thing.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 33 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I want "pretty nice and vanilla guy" tattooed on me, and I'll say it means "horrible pervert"

[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 39 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

I bestow upon you the title of 凡人 (bonjin), in Japanese means an unremarkably mediocre person. You can tattoo it and tell people it means psychopath instead of course, who's stopping you?

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I was in line behind someone who had 安 on her nape. I'm guessing she was going for a meaning of like peaceful or restful or something along those lines but you need a compound like 安心 or 安静 for that.

The character alone means more like cheap, at least in Japanese. Maybe it's different in Chinese.

[–] rcuv@programming.dev 21 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

In Chinese, 安 by itself can mean secure. I think.

edit: it can also be a surname. but still seems a bit strange to me to have that character by itself.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

变态外人
biàntài wàirén

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›