this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2024
932 points (96.8% liked)

Microblog Memes

6037 readers
2238 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 256 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (2 children)

He sucked 100 dicks and with that knowledge and experience in the end he finally chose hers.

Remember that.

[–] DarkThoughts@fedia.io 75 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Either way I feel it's more important how many dicks they sucked after entering the relationship.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 21 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I personally don't want to know about before and won 't ask, but that's up to everyone's personal relationship standards.

[–] spankmonkey@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago (8 children)

My wife and I were both open about ours, and being open about it made trusting easier. I'm not sure who would have an problem knowing approximate numbers unless they have jealousy issues or are judgy.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 30 points 3 months ago

When you're bi curious, but you also respect the scientific method and so you require a large sample size to make an informed decision.

[–] SynonymousStoat@lemmy.world 155 points 3 months ago (6 children)
[–] medusa@sh.itjust.works 93 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 35 points 3 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] neatchee@lemmy.world 40 points 3 months ago

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

[–] djsoren19@yiffit.net 28 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

It's written almost as if he did it the night before the wedding, which would be an impressive trick for a bachelor party.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Just bring her lasagna at work. She'll get over it.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 86 points 3 months ago (4 children)

It's not dick sucking quantity that matters, but dick sucking quality

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 32 points 3 months ago

"I swear I really went for it, babe. I was buckling knees..."

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 23 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Hard disagree. It's about optimizing the dick sucking.

I'm betting if you line three guys into a triangle, you can suck three dicks at once.

This will allow you hit 99 dicks in only 33 sucking motions.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 12 points 3 months ago

Quantity has a quality all its own. Jumps into pile of dicks.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 63 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He sucked their dicks, but did he suck their hearts?

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He he he, first orgasm, then organ harvesting

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 57 points 3 months ago (3 children)

It’s surprisingly not that hard to put up those kinds of numbers. It does not matter your gender or physical appearance, you can find at least one hundred guys willing to let you suck their dick.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 16 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm afraid to test your theory.

[–] NewAgeOldPerson@lemmy.world 36 points 3 months ago (1 children)

If you do test their theory, get tested often.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 12 points 3 months ago (3 children)

My experience on Grindr says otherwise.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Sometimes you’ve gotta be brave enough to check out the blank profiles lol.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] NeptuneOrbit@lemmy.world 29 points 3 months ago (10 children)

As long as it wasn't in a row

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 36 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Are you envisaging a sort of grid arrangement?

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago

No a spiral. Makes the ol’ suck and tug much easier.

[–] DScratch@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

Sequential list, surely. Though maybe you could suck off the current and .next at the same time.

[–] BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 3 months ago

What if was in a column?

[–] Moops@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

Don't kink shame me!

load more comments (7 replies)
[–] lefixxx@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago

She's just upset because her number is so low comparingly

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago (3 children)

How do you get 100+ people to let you suck their dicks? Asking for a friend.

[–] slacktoid@lemmy.ml 29 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

You ask politely one at a time.

Doesn't have to be polite all the time either.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 23 points 3 months ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 20 points 3 months ago (3 children)

i just cant imagine giving a shit about this. like how insecure do you have to be after 16 years to care??

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 51 points 3 months ago (7 children)

The joke is after 16 years finding out your husband is into cock.

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›