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2024 discussion threads
Calling it now. Next Borderlands game is going to have some referential jokes about this train wreck that are meant to be funny self-deprecation but will actually be transparent attempts as covering up how much Randy Pritchford is malding about this.
I'm honestly surprised we aren't seeing more public meltdown from him. Can only imagine what's happening behind closed doors.
Was he heavily involved in the film's production? I'm not very familiar with how this movie was made, but a lot of the stuff I've heard about it gives me the sense that his style didn't influence it very much (weird casting, lame jokes, etc.)
Street Fighter in 1994 is $99m, and adjusted to inflation it would be $210m, while Super Mario Bros 1993 is $38.9m, today would be $84.7m. Rub it on Randy's face, hope it leave a mark.
$38,912,465
That's how much the 1993 Mario Brothers movie grossed worldwide. Really pause and think about that.
Let that sink in.
The mario brothers movie made $7,000,000 more than this, in 90s money. One of the greatest disappointments in movie history, which has a cult following for its level of fail, outperformed Borderlands.
That is the orbital nuke of fails.
As a part of the 1993 SMB movie's cult following, I wouldn't say it's the level of fail that has contributed as much as a combination of nostalgia, and just how damn unapologetically strange it is. Someone honestly went and pitched a grimy, dieselpunk take on Super Mario Brothers, with Daisy as the princess rather than Peach, and humanoid/reptilian koopas, Toad as a punk busker, a velociraptor Yoshi, and Dennis Hopper looking absolutely insane as Bowser. And somehow, that movie got made and didn't end up being the subject of "the insane reinvention of Super Mario Bros. that could have been" documentaries, and fan-film homages.
I'm aware that Hoskins and Leguizamo both have said that had a terrible time making the movie because of how disorganized it was, but I don't care, the finished product is amazing.
Mortal Kombat gave us that sweet sweet soundtrack.
You just reminded me that I used to have that on CD. It was packed full of jams!
Hollywood budgets are insane these days.
I watched Godzilla -1. That movie was fucking boss, and apparently its budget was only $15 million. That's less than they spent removing the CGI buttholes from Cats.
Forgive my ignorance, but did they make CGI buttholes, then remove them before it premiered?
#releasethebuttholecut
Uwe Boll has entered the chat.
Uwe Boll is schlock you know your getting schlock, shclock is fun
I actually liked his take on Postal.
Was it great cinema? No... but since Postal doesn't take itself too serious, it kind of worked out.
The Warcraft movie wasn't even bad, they just didn't go hard enough. It was impossible to cram that whole story into one movie. They shoulda done a Hobbit with it.
If they literally just made a trilogy of the wc3 campaigns they would've easily made decent cinema. While the arthas storyline is a little derivative (as most things blizzard makes) it is still the best epic saga they made to date, aside from perhaps the original StarCraft and broodwar shakespearean intrigue fiesta.
This is the kind of thing that ruins careers and maybe even production companies. Of course, Eli Roth will never be given a big budget to direct again and in the cast of the film, more than one will drop significantly in their next works.
in the cast of the film, more than one will drop significantly in their next works.
Kevin Hart. There's a feeling already thst we are getting too much Jack Black on our screens but Kevin Hart was a lead and his part just fell flat. JLC is a legend at this point and Cate Blanchett is getting there, they can both coast through a stinker or two with all the accumulated good will. But Hart...
I had no idea that Roth directed this movie. Like who thought that getting a cheesy splatter film director was a great decision? Honestly they got what they deserved with this mess.
Eli Roth will never be given a big budget
Please don't threaten me with a good time.
Slightly off-topic: might be alone in this, but I actually really enjoyed Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. It's nice, self-contained, has some fun action, some cool scenes, and it turned me on to Jake Gyllenhaal and I've liked his work ever since. It's Generic and schlocky but it's better than the usual videogame movie garbo.
It fits nicely into that B-movie slot IMO.
It's a not awful swashbuckler and few of those are made these days.
I didn't even realize there was an Assassin's Creed movie.
Must have blinked and missed it.
I saw it in theaters with a friend who was really into the assassins creed games. It was pretty disappointing. Michael Fassbender is the lead though, I think he did a good job
After I made the comment I looked it up and realized I have actually seen it and that is how forgettable it is.
Is it yet another one of those "our adaptation has barely anything to do with the actual games and that is good!" kinda tone-deaf deals?
I watched it so you dont have to. It is not just a bad Borderlands movie, it's an utterly terrible movie period. CGI is bad, characters are ill-conceived, the story is a mess, editing is a mess, everything is a mess. I liked the end-credits though.
Abd I say this as not being a fan of Borderlands. I played the first one for a total of a few hours and somewhat liked it but never got invested into it. Someone who is invested into it would of courses mention that it is an utterly terrible adaptation.
The number one reason I had no interest in it was they replaced Claptraps voice with jack fucking black. Ultimate slap in the face to any fan. Everything else was terrible, but that was the worst to me. Pure Hollywood. "We'll just throw in what we think gamers like and call it a day!"
Crazy that they spent that much on marketing and I still had no idea that movie was coming until I read articles about how badly it bombed. Did they blow the marketing budget on hookers and blow and call it good?? What the hell happened here?!
Wait, there is a Wing Commander movie?!? How did I not know that...
Because it's not very good and we all made a pact never to speak of it again. A pact now broken!
I thoroughly enjoyed the Last of Us series. I do hope it ends where it is now, but it was some very good TV writing and acting.
Because the show writers are the same that wrote the game, last of us has a very strong advantage. They can't deviate from the plot and key elements because they are too invested in it. But they can change what they feel like is weaker, or wouldn't work as well in a show format. And its really noticable if you played both the game and the show. They've discussed how they already planned it to be a two season series, but they also mentioned if they have enough inspiration and they can figure out a way to make a third season that stays within the spirit of the story line, and they honestly enjoy it then they will.
With the first season being as good as it was, I have complete and utter faith in them.
Uncharted was good too. Street Fighter is campy, but fun.
Yes. Although I would have enjoyed it more if it wasn't called Uncharted.
Missing:
Resident Evil (2002) $103m ($180m adjusted)
..of the rest of the movies on your list, I have only not seen Hitman and Five Nights at Freddyβs; but I would be pretty safe in betting that they would both be more enjoyable than Borderlands.
The thing that baffles me about Wing Commander is that Mark Hamill was right there and already had an established character in the game's canon. But even with a different story and cast, I don't understand how anyone could have screwed up a bog-standard space opera that badly.
Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat deserve their respective paydays. They're both stupid and fun. That's what the source material is after all. But Mortal Kombat might do well with a little love: just throw a few million at Corridor Digital and update the CGI effects and re-release it.
Am I the only one who enjoyed the Hitman movie? I haven't seen it in a long time, and I never played the games.
Oh warcraft was bad? I actually enjoyed that one, was hoping for a sequel.
If Wing Commander's $11.5 million is in 1999 dollars, that's $21.7 million today. Still less than Borderlands, although it probably also cost less to make.
I never even saw any marketing for it.
That's because they seem to have realised it was going to flop hard and cut back on the marketing - it's usually similar to the budget but they only spent $31M which is very low for a film of this size.
I never realized any of those were movies.
There was a Borderlands movie?
No, and let's keep it that way!