The instance seems to be mostly right wing trolls. I know defederating is unpopular but I don't think much is to be lost in this case and it can save the mods some headaches.
Edit: the response on exploding-heads.com to my reporting of transphobia. Courtesy of the "second in command"
Sometimes people just don't wanna see slurs or dehumanizing content. Doesn't make them soft. Something you see that is "an opinion you dislike" might feel a whole lot worse for someone else depending on their age, race, sexuality, gender, ect.
How do those people function in real life where they don't have such a pre-filter?
By just dealing with it. Doesn't make it less shitty though.
I think the world would be a better place if everybody grew thicker skin.
While that may be true to an extent, it's also reasonable to want a place where you can let your guard down.
Perhaps that place should be a locked down instance like beehaw, not the public fediverse.
Surely there's a middle ground between "defederating hundreds of instances" and "defederating practically none".
In real life, you can filter by not hanging out with people who speak abusively about and to you. You can walk away. And yeah, sometimes those abusive people follow you. So a lot of them seek online support communities as a retreat from the abuse. Saying "they should just toughen up" misses on what their daily life is like, and that no one wants to be subject to constant unending abuse