sorry to jump in here but specifically i'm doing parts therapy and it seems to really be helping with things like this. the theory goes that inside everyone is a system made up of multiple parts (the film Inside Out is about this), and they, due to trauma and probably other things, can get "stuck" as a young age, or get stifled by other parts, etc. This "stuck"-ness leads to all manner of issues with emotional expression etc.

to resolve it, you basically externalize bits of yourself that are not calm/collected/curious/etc. (which Cool Therapist calls the "core energy"), give them names, and interrogate them. add a touch of radical self-acceptance "it's ok that you're feeling this way" and ask them what it would take to let go of the white-knuckle grip they have on your psyche, basically. It's corny as heck, but ... it actually kinda slaps, ngl. I've made so much progress in a few months with myself in understanding where I was stuck, and why I'm feeling certain ways, and being able to really understand some of the contradictions in myself.

i hope that you would consider trying some of this, even if it seems cringe at first. good luck!