this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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[โ€“] magi@hexbear.net 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

For me I never learned to mask, I also never tried to fit a cis role (my issues came out of people trying to put me in a role) I have no shame and I don't care what other people think.

This can vary I guess depending on why you can't be silly. I think anyone can be you need to let go of reservations and not give a fuck even if you fall flat on your face. That's the hard part.

Find what makes you laugh and do it more, do that with other people if you can. Make someone smile, try to do that more often. Put shaving foam on a paper plate and slam yourself in the face with it... do whatever can get a giggle or lift someones spirits. Go out of your way to make someone laugh.

[โ€“] rainn@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm a veeryy big control freak so letting go is.. very scary to say the least. Uplifting comment though tyvm, I have saved it

I do mask a lot due to my environment and its so annoying cause you become your masks at one point and leads to a bunch of identity crises

[โ€“] magi@hexbear.net 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I understand. I went through a bad childhood and never had any friends to learn to mask from. I never learned to use a mask to protect myself even. I spent most early days in school away on my own but id be the weirdo people didn't want to play with either.

So when I went to high school I became a huge target because of how I looked, I would have the bullies on my back and go home and get more shit there. I had years of this. I had my nose broken by them and I got jumped for looking queer. For every day I put up with that shit I kept my personality and wouldn't have anyone drive it out of me. Through everything I've been through its been my constant despute my hardships.

I know you have your personality too as much as you've had to mask it, just don't let the bastards grind you down. Do somethibg silly for your partner no matter how small I'm sure it will get easier in time. I hope this helps somewhat.

[โ€“] rainn@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

I appreciate the input comrade

On my side I guess I learned to mask too much and learn to 'have a personality' and tried to always bond with others by having a lot of knowledge so I can adapt to anyone lol but I never enjoyed my circles cause everyone was fash or just way into cishet and yuck, I do have impostor syndrome because of masking so I'm not doing wel in this regard, I'm there skmewhere down but emotional supression doesnt help