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submitted 3 weeks ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/news@lemmy.world

When a prizefighter loses a fight, the first words out of his mouth are, “I WANT A REMATCH.” Polls clearly show that I won the Debate against Comrade Kamala Harris, the Democrats’ Radical Left Candidate, on Tuesday night, and she immediately called for a Second Debate. She and Crooked Joe have destroyed our Country, with millions of criminals and mentally deranged people pouring into the USA, totally unchecked and unvetted, and with Inflation bankrupting our Middle Class. Everyone knows this, and all of the other problems caused by Kamala and Joe – It was discussed in great detail during the First Debate with Joe, and the Second Debate with Comrade Harris. She was a no-show at the Fox Debate, and refused to do NBC & CBS. KAMALA SHOULD FOCUS ON WHAT SHE SHOULD HAVE DONE DURING THE LAST ALMOST FOUR YEAR PERIOD. THERE WILL BE NO THIRD DEBATE!

He mad.

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[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 125 points 3 weeks ago

Vance will be weird as fuck. Walz will be folksy and charming.

[-] solidgrue@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago
[-] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 68 points 3 weeks ago
[-] tilefan@lemm.ee 13 points 3 weeks ago

actually lol'd

[-] crawancon@lemm.ee 10 points 3 weeks ago
[-] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

This is a family television network, we don't allow that kind of smut here

[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

It would end me on the spot if Walz had some guys carry a couch out on stage right off the bat and place it between them.

[-] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

"Oh, I'm sorry, is that distracting you?"

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago

Where they share an apartment in Des Moines next to a pair of kooky sisters who works as tarot readers?

[-] tilefan@lemm.ee 20 points 3 weeks ago

one of the sisters is trans and the other is a Republican

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago

But we don't know which is which!

[-] ptz@dubvee.org 17 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Can they also both be Wiccans so we also don't know which witch is which?

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago

Well they are professional tarot readers...

[-] PlasticExistence@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

Netflix has already approved and cancelled this series!

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 9 points 3 weeks ago

I'm angry it existed and angry they cancelled my favorite content!

[-] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago

HBO picked it up and produced Season One. But then they shelved it for the tax write off.

[-] Dkarma@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

Sounds like the perfect role for MTG

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

Ok, but only if they hang out at a hole in the wall resteraunt with a gruff cook, and an over the top gay head server who faces issues outside the resteraunt, but is well protected in the resteraunt. With a bunch of resteraunt regulars who seemingly never leave.

[-] Baggins@feddit.uk 2 points 3 weeks ago

And a soup nazi.

[-] magnetosphere@fedia.io 9 points 3 weeks ago

“J.D., why do you keep getting the Couch card?”

Audience laughs

[-] Steve@communick.news 7 points 3 weeks ago

I'm generally not a sit com person.
But that sounds cute. I'd give it a chance.

[-] HuntressHimbo@lemm.ee 26 points 3 weeks ago

Trump's heart will pop if Vance and Walz get better ratings. So I'm gonna make sure to catch it live

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 weeks ago

You don't wanna catch any of that rotted spew when it does. Stand clear, and have the flamethrower ready to contain the spread.

[-] Drunemeton@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Nuke it from orbit! It’s they only way to be sure

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 weeks ago

Ooh, a little bit of tungsten could go a long way to helping out here, eh? Say, from orbit?

[-] Beaver@lemmy.ca 18 points 3 weeks ago

Tim Walz wins on all the charms

[-] tilefan@lemm.ee 9 points 3 weeks ago

i can see Walz very politely ripping him a new asshole.

[-] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 weeks ago

Humming like a Mary Tyler Moore version of Dexter? My team.

[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Vance comin in hot lookin like Ricky Raccoon up in that beyotch.

this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
541 points (97.4% liked)

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