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the neighbour has decided now is a good time to start drumming (random times, random days, generally when i'm trying to get work done, frick, at least he's nice), so if my responses make less sense that is why, sorry
huh, that's interesting. Cool Therapist has been gently criticizing me for only listening to the rational parts of myself, and trying to mercilessly crush the emotional parts (okay this is my wording, not hers) into submission ("you shouldn't feel this way!!" etc). i had a bit of pride in being "completely rational" (not listening to the emotional parts is not rational), and in my line of work I definitely don't want to be caught making decisions based on "gut feelings" so I have a ton of practice rationalizing.
Sometimes I wonder what's going on down there for me, I think about the phrase "background processing" a lot.
It's been a while since someone's done this to me, luckily. I tend to dig my heels in when people pressure me instead of giving me time to adapt or think things through, has caused serious problems in the past. but i'll have to think on this more ... i did have like a 24-hour verbal shutdown like a month or so ago, and it was super scary for a bit (i thought my brain exploded), but i read that it's quite common for autism and so my partner and i played minecraft and text chatted for the day. it was actually kinda heavenly to not have to talk, once the i-cant-move-for-an-hour shutdown was past.
i like this, yeah the analogy was good.
yeah i think that's a good place to be tbh, i like it
You have any noise cancelling headphones or earplugs or?
When I get a gut feeling, (I call this my spidey sense), I'll mull on this for a bit and logic it out. I'll break everything down surrounding the feeling and then logic out why I felt the way I do,I tend to go with my gut more because I've been through a ton of shit and sometimes it can sense things before my brain has time to process everything, so I give my brain time to do the processing and analysis but it does turn out to be correct.
I have literally spent months talking to nobody before lol but mostly I tend to be more frequent with shorter moments of verbal shut down. It can be misread at times too and some people freak out somewhat because they aren't used to it but I do it when I don't feel the need to talk, get overwhelmed or don't feel like I can talk.
Same, I like it too ^^
oh, yeah, but i didn't want to get distracted from writing, lol, i put them on after i sent it. the pathway of "oh it's happening" -> "how annoying" -> "i'm stressed" -> "i could do something about this" -> "where are those headphones" -> "oh they're right in front of me" -> "i should put them on" -> "noise cancelling sounds weird but at least i don't hear the Bad Sound anymore" -> "what was i doing again?" is very long
oh, this makes sense to me - not that the gut doesn't have logic, but that it takes longer to figure out the reasoning... i think i can relate to that.
.
I am actually a bit envious of this bit, i talk so much, way more than i'd like, as my friend this week put it, "because of NT expectations." i wish that i could be less verbal but it's such a compulsion, and it's exhausting!
Good! now hopefully it'll not be bothering you too much c:
Most of my talking is in my head, I spent literally years alone so i only had my self, so my infodumps and processing is all internal. But I can go quiet even inside, really depends on whats going on but I'm always analysing all the time. I only talk when I feel the need or want to. So I can sit quietly for hours, it does unnerve some people who aren't used to it. But I can talk the leg off a donkey if I want to talk lol I just don't get that much opportunity to talk in day to day life. And if I don't want to talk people will find it hard to get much from me.
sorry, got pulled away by work and then needed to recharge, headphones do and did help :)
thank you for sharing!
No worries and you're welcome! ^^