cloventt

joined 1 year ago
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[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 23 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hooker with a Penis in my ass

whelp

[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 6 points 2 months ago

Sounds cool, but I can guarantee some mobster would come and get it back one way or the other. I’d rather reach some agreement with Police to donate the money to the Drug Foundation or something similar. And do that very publicly. And then move house.

[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This joke doesn’t work, aussies don’t call it a check, they call it a bill.

[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 3 points 3 months ago

2045: We are now in receivership as the impact of the Climate Wars and collapse of the global food supply means we can no longer fly. Wellington airport is 2 feet underwater anyway.

[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 3 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Perhaps they could consider setting new targets before axing the old ones?

[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
 
[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 6 points 7 months ago

Seems like an overtly political - not religious - action. Hopefully they once again lose their tax-exempt status.

[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 20 points 10 months ago

What an absolute legend. Give him a medal.

[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 3 points 10 months ago

Got a gull stuck in the decorative grill on the front of our office once. Spent the whole morning shrieking, seemed like he was stuck. Called the council, SPCA, building owner, nobody wanted to help.

Then after a few hours the bastard quite calmly hopped up and flew out.

That gull was a dick. We named him Greg.

[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Better to ask forgiveness rather than permission.

Edit: how did I get that backwards?

[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 1 points 11 months ago

Nitrates in drinking water are linked to cancer and birth defects. In high-enough concentrations it can trigger blue-baby syndrome, which can straight-up kill babies.

[–] cloventt@lemmy.nz 5 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Got an email advertising cyber monday sales on firewood. Yup, logs of wood. For cyber monday.

12
Pseudoephedrine (www.youtube.com)
 

Seymour is gonna make it legal again!

 

Glad to hear that Police are taking the safety of our Muslim and Jewish whanau seriously.

 

“Artist’s impression” is really stretching the definition of “artist” on this one.

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