I used to shrug when lesser teams (like Liverpool) claimed 'We won't get a penalty at Old Trafford until hell freezes over'.

After last night's decision to deny Wolves a last minutes penalty for Onana's assault on their centre-forward, I might have to change my mind.

How can I watch Benezma, Neves, Kante, Koulibaly,, Mendy, Jota, Firminio, Mahrez and, err, Jordan Henderson et al ?

Do I need to subscribe to Al Jazeera TV ?

Pre-season friendlies:

• MUFC 2 Leeds 0 (Emeran, Hugill)
• MUFC 1 Lyon 0 (van de Beek)

In:

• Mason Mount (£55m)
• Andre Onana (TBC)
• Jonny Evans (free)
• Eric Bailly (unwanted loan return)
• Alex Telles (unwanted loan return)

Out:

• David De Gea (thanks but goodbye)
• Axel Tunazebe
• Phil Jones
• Marcel Sabitzer (useful squad player ?)
• Wout Weghorst (not useful at all).
• Jack Butland

Bruno Fernandes appointed captain.

Everton's board have decided the last N season's travails must never, ever be repeated.

So they have splashed the cash on Ashley Young.

I hate odd numbered years. No World Cup or Euros to break up the boredom. There's the Ashes and Wimbledon but it's no substitute for football.

Nothing happening

• Mount still at Chelsea
• Kane still at Spurs
• Rice still at West Ham. City attempting to piss Arsenal off even more
• De Gea sunning himself, enjoying his £375k a week at United
• City replacing Gundogan with Kovacic
• No news of the never ending Glazers takeover
• Kingstonian (who normally have replaced the entire team by now) have also been stupefied by the heat and done nothing.

Chelsea sign yet another forward. Can't wait for the imminent fire sale.

He didn't exactly leave on the best of terms.

I lied. I do have a second team. However, as Rich alluded to - my second team is a non-league team.

Kingstonian FC play in the Isthmian Premier division. This is the 7th tier of the English football league structure.

The reason I don't really class them as a 'second team' is that Kingstonian and MUFC are so far apart that the prospect of them ever meeting let alone competing for the same trophy is infinitesimal.

MUFC get crowds of 75,000 whereas Kingstonian get crowds of 250.

What I like about non league is:

• real life football
• ability to enjoy a pint while watching the game
• watch the coaches issuing (screaming) instructions
• no need to book or be a member. Just rock up.
• park for free close to ground.
• Originally I could walk when Kingstonian played at Kingsmeadow !
• Cheaper £10 versus £35-40

The header columns (Name, Subscribers, Users/month, Post, Comments' on the 'Communities' page appear to be hyperlinks (Firefox 114.0.1) but do nothing.

Normally, you'd expect the table to be sorted on the field.

I have followed Manchester United since my Dad took me to my first game back at Old Trafford in 1972 (Ian Storey Moore's debut).

Nowadays I follow United's fluctuating fortunes from the comfort of my armchair or a barstool.

One of my proudest moments was when son asked me 'Are you watching the Clasico tonight ?' to which I replied 'Err, no'.

'God Dad - you're such a United fan. Don't you want to watch a decent match ?' He didn't add 'for a change' but could have.

But that's me. I follow United. I don't care about any other teams. A mate once took me to Aston Villa vs West Brom which was a feisty affair but I just wasn't invested in the result. I stood there almost motionless for 90 minutes.

I have mellowed over the years so now do watch the closing stages of the Champions League and maybe the playoffs but really, I don't care.

So, I don't have a second team. There are some teams I dislike less than others.

• Spurs
• Villa
• Forest
• Brighton
• Sunderland

And no, I would never, ever buy a day tripper split scarf ?

What about you ?

Bit closer to home this one as when I had a season ticket at United back in the late 70's, Gordon McQueen and Martin Buchan were the centre half pairing.