GreatestGenBot

When Boomer wakes up wet and doesn’t know why, there’s no Croatian fisherman to help get her bearings. But when Commander Adama invites the President to witness an act of sabotage on Galactica, the internal investigation points to at least one Cylon aboard. Would Egghead Software still be in business if they had a better return policy? Is there a wrong way to win a poker game? What does the Audrey 2 not have? It’s the episode that could have gone pantsless!

When the Entrepreneur goes looking for a long-lost colony, they find a group of cafeteria Novans living in real Star Trek caves. But when the dumb-dumbs can’t understand why they’re slowly becoming irradiated, moving them to another continent soothes Captain Archer’s vanity. When does Malcolm Reed win? Why is the Hungarian rec basketball team so fragrant? What’s going to be good for the health of the ship? It’s the episode with a pristine polar region!

When the Colonial Fleet hasn’t slept for days, they probably should have started handing out stims sooner. But when the Olympic Carrier gets left behind and then shows back up looking a little too inconclusive, Commander Adama’s resting suspicion face makes him ready to blow up the damn ship. What kind of child is Number Six proposing? Does Galactica belong off-Broadway? How can you ruin a glimmer of hope? It’s the episode that wants to rent out its happy place.

When Commander Tucker gets assigned to fix an alien ship, he finally chills out and starts smelling the grass. But when his unexpected pregnancy is more Junior than Aliens, not even a girlfriend shirt could hide the pregnant person tropes. Where does a pantsless dance club rank on a list of first impressions? Who has the standards and practices memo on those nips? What would make Enterprise 2,000% better? It’s the episode that still wants a Star Trek World.

When it’s time to look back at Discovery as a whole, the series only reinforces Star Trek as a place. But when the questions and answers go both ways, only a special guest could tell the full story. Which future tech didn’t make doors obsolete? Whose line of dialogue requires an oral history? What hashtag will soon be trending? It’s the episode that loves a big beautiful format!

When there’s a big blue dot outside the Entrepreneur’s windows, Captain Archer can’t resist taking a team down to trample the Strange New World. But when camping Trip Tucker turns into acid Trip Tucker, T’Pol plays along for her chance to shoot him in the chest. Whose hair is an extra character in this story? Which Star Trek patter is not 5 by 5? Where is Archer currently on the likability scale? It’s the episode that knows it doesn’t have the right stuff.

When Captain Burnham wakes up on a different network for the finale, she does triangle right and earns a chat with a dead Progenitor. But when she turns down the steward job and stashes The Greatest Discovery inside a black hole, an epilogue answers questions that no one knew they had. Is the Geordi training protocol no longer in use? Who was unwilling to wear the loaf? What’s a red flag during any job interview? It’s the episode that stays out of Breen politics.

When the crew of the Entrepreneur is already bored, finding a haunted house vessel seems worth strapping up to explore. But when the horror show inside makes Hoshi’s bad day worse, the world’s smallest space explosion won’t save them from their globulin. Why exactly is Sluggo not well? In what way is Captain Archer like an aging relative? How do you play the America’s Test Kitchen drinking game? It’s the episode where liquid dog shit is a metaphor!

When a busted up Discovery jumps to the middle of a double black hole, the keg left by the Progenitors gets stolen right out from under them by Moll. But when an away team goes undercover to try to retake the tech, Burnham decides to follow the light in search of a series finale. Is there a difference between Beta team and Bravo team? How exactly are the Breen nothing like us? What can never go back into the toothpaste tube? It’s the episode that's terrorized by chainsaws!

When Captain Archer takes advantage of a diplomatic incident to get his new crew their first deep space mission, no one gets along with the Vulcan science officer assigned to be their chaperone. But when some squishy aliens kidnap a Klingon from Enterprise, T’Pol must take command to get the mission over the finish line. How bizarre is a sci-fi bazaar at this point? Which sandwich resembles Trip Tucker? Will this ship go down with the captain? It’s the episode that paints without masking first!

When Disco jumps to the Badlands, they find a Hogwarts library where checking out the next clue KOs Captain Burnham. But when the Breen show up and get their library card revoked, Michael’s journey through the labyrinth finally makes her a little more relatable. What’s involved in podcast pre-production? Who runs DS9 in the 32nd century? Does Moll have a type? It’s the episode that still wants to go to Betazed.

When Voyager wrapped up leaving everyone wanting more, pitching some spicy alternate endings could have avoided the All Good Things comparison. But if there’s no extra time to make a finale truly great, expectations shouldn’t be too high for for a Star Trek podcast either. Why exactly is local news suffering? How did the writers’ room launder Neelix’s character? Whose personal development was the most grating? It’s the episode that never says no without a number.