No I get it. Seeing influencers like Sarah weaponize mental health every time they get called out for something that they have done, but don’t want to take accountability for, drives me insane.
this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2024
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thebirdspapaya_snark
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Hello new Lemmy friends!
Word on the street tells us our community is regularly making it the all page. While this is very cool news to hear, we can see how the sudden emergence of our posts in your feed might feel jarring and probably raises some questions. And also how, without knowing the backstory, our community might appear less than virtuous, so here’s a very brief introduction which hopefully will clear a few things up.
The woman we’re discussing is a body positive influencer and media personality who has gained fame and wealth by lying, manipulating, exploiting her children for content, plagiarizing BIPOC creators and blaming her BIPOC content editor for it (thereby ruining her career), among other things. Her fraudulent behavior is no different (I’d argue worse) from the likes of Jay Shetty (google him if you don’t know who he is or what he did). She’s the latest in a long line of grifting influencers who are abusing their power, taking advantage of their position and exploiting their followers. The difference is that she’s Canadian. Our laws around social media and advertising aren’t as clear (and where they are she’s disobeyed them), add to that, our mainstream media has protected her from those who’ve tried to expose her grift and silenced/intimidated anyone who’s tried to speak out.
Our Reddit sub was taken down due to reports of copyright infringement, which is unfounded and categorically untrue as no one ever tried to steal her work and pass it off as their own. The mods have made an appeal. While at first glance it may seem like we’re just “shitting on her” the sub has been more devoted to investigation and posting proof of her lies than just bitching for the sake of bitching. The reality is that she’s hurt, manipulated and let down a lot of people. She stole intellectual property and employment, caused mental distress and has repeatedly told lies to boost engagement and profit off her audience, so people are understandably upset that their voices are being silenced.
We’re grateful to have been welcomed so kindly by so many of you, and to those sticking around to watch the drama unfold, we’re glad to have you!
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White women tears are dangerous. While I dont feel SNL is a bad human, I actually believe the Internet addiction fed into insecurities and it’s robbed her of a sense of self (I don’t wish this upon anyone). While your friend may not recognize the problems now (I mean most if not all of us are here because at me point we too fell victim to believing that perfectly imperfect curated SNL life was ideal), sometimes pointing out something general helps. For example say “have you noticed there’s a lot of white women taking over body positivity - a movement started and owed to Black women?” Or “I’m bothered by how non-consenting children are regularly exploited by brands through influencers” , or “wow there’s a lot of people talking about mental health while ignoring genocide and the mental health of those in constant state of trauma”. Because SNL, I believe is s good human who doesn’t have a good circle of friends pushing her to be truly a hood advocate/ally. Friends who won’t call you out aren’t friends, they’re coasting on success. Brands that look for the same “non-controversial” influencers who are sunshine and lollipops are not brands giving back to the world.
As far as crying goes, I do think she does face moral dilemmas , anxiety and mental distress. I also do recognize that she needs a true circle to tell her to be more authentic and less brand-focused. “Yes men” have benefits from not arguing, confronting or bringing up issues with their “leader” /friend. Friendships and relationships with non-white people do not inherently make us anti-racist. Everyone, (including myself or anyone here, who hasn’t had LIVED experience as minorities) has the duty to examine daily why white women tears are powerful but dangerous and why they can cause harm. They dismiss the original issues and immediately cause us all to go into “protect her” mode. I do think that she need a support and needs protecting, but it’s from the people who are constantly demanding everything of her (brands) to make her entire life a brand, and any true friend would be telling her that that is unhealthy and would be standing up for her. But anyone questioning if she has mental health issues or not obviously has never been through anything I’m selves because nobody’s journey looks the same. Tell your friend that there are so many more inspirational people out there. Tell them to start with wizard Bisan in Palestine literally surviving a genocide.
*So while I agree with your general stance about “white woman tears” syndrome and how it’s harmful. And that people need community around them to help teach them to be accountable, it kind of stops at that.
*I don’t think SNL is a good person. I don’t know if she’s bad 🤷🏼♀️, but I would say she is immoral and selfish. You’re right it does seem like no one in her circle holds her accountable but I also can’t say it’s their job. She’s almost 40, by this age you should have your own internal moral compass and capability to examine your actions. It also does seem like she doesn’t have any actual friendships in general. Which I bet comes down to her own doing. She most likely doesn’t want friends available to her, it seems she only wants to deal with ppl who will do something for her. The point is, we might think she is struggling (and she might be), but everyone has anxiety and gets sad. I think she is living the life she wanted, except she wishes she was slimmer with her real face resembling her filtered face.
*As far as for OP, it sucks when we see friends exhibiting toxic traits or just stuff we don’t agree with. If it’s a friend talk to her, if not, then unfollow and keep on keeping.
I don’t think SNL is a good person either. I think she’s too selfish to be good because good people don’t think about what’s in it for them and that’s all she thinks about. I remember when the oldest was taking her Nana K out for lunch and Sarah was waxing on about how lovely it was because it was sincere - not transactional. I don’t think she understands the concept. She’s even in a transactional relationship with the preschooler
I personally disagree about her being a good human. Because she has had countless people point out all of the harm she causes. To her audience (under the guise of help), to her children and the younger generation with the editing, to her children by exploiting them, to those she plagiarized from. Her response is to silence and gaslight. That's not how good humans typically respond to being informed that they have caused harm. And she purposely surrounds herself with people who won't hold her accountable.
I won't go as far as to necessarily say she's a bad human....but she sure has behaved like one. She's caused a lot of harm and her response to attempts to hold her accountable have been concerning. I haven't seen much, if anything, from her that would indicate she's a good person. She just pretends to be one when it's convenient but doesn't seem to actually do the work or take the responsibility of having a platform that size seriously. She's caused a ton of harm and doesn't give a fuck. Just wants to shut people up about it.
My friends who love gurus, fallen from grace gurus, certain political figures, and other known douchebags lose my respect automatically. SNL is sort of a guru type figure. Why can’t people think for themselves? Why can’t they do what I do and Google to see what the other side of things might be? Why can’t people see thru that bullshit? It really bugs me. So I get you.
Are you close friends with this person? If you are, perhaps you can kindly point out the pitfalls of influencer culture. If not, it may be best to just unfollow. If it's an acquaintance, you'll still see em when you see em - they probably won't even notice. If you don't even know them personally, just unfollow without remorse. I'm finding it's better to be ruthless in curating your SM feeds because it can be a tricky slope from mildly irritating to daily rage lol
This is the way. Curating your feed to weed out the bad noise is liberating. I have a couple of cousins on my IG that I cannot block but I can’t stand the annoying posts they make, multiple times a day. I put them on silent, or whatever that feature is and it’s wonderful not to have to see their ridiculousness while they are none the wiser lol.
Yes! This is the way. I’ve snoozed a lot of family and ‘friends’ for various reasons
If it’s on Instagram, they have a “take a break” option that mutes/hides a person for a certain amount of time, so you don’t have formally unfollow to get some immediate relief. 🩷
What does SNL stand for?
The initials of the influencer that this community discusses
Is your friend trying to get a foothold in the Influencer community?