this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024

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336

I made this (poptalk.scrubbles.tech)

submitted 5 months ago by scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

19 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://poptalk.scrubbles.tech/post/1069636

Forgive the hastily made meme. All too common with us engineers.

top 19 comments

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[–] Kissaki@programming.dev 52 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

no no no, this is the wrong way around

because sales and marketing sell it before it even exists

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 25 points 5 months ago

Sales: "Can we do this?

Dev: "No, we cannot."

Sales: "Uhhhh... But I already told the customer we could."

Dev: "That's called lying. You lied to the customer."

Sales: "...So you'll have it done next week?"

Dev: "I'm going to need at least three weeks."

Sales: "...But I already told the customer two weeks."

Dev: Sigh

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 13 points 5 months ago

truth. Why wait for a product at all? Just sell it now, then yell at your engineers for taking so damn long!

[–] Derp@lemmy.ml 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Except when a bug pops up somewhere. Ownership/Responsibility changes in sub-Planck-second time when assigning blame.

[–] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 8 points 5 months ago

In our head nothing ever was wrong, bugs only came along when you came along! You should have been able to build it in days, what's so hard about this?

[–] ruckblack@sh.itjust.works 11 points 5 months ago

Which is fine with me tbh because fuck sales. I'd never survive independently, because I'd tell the customer the truth. And the truth doesn't sell. I don't have the energy to lie about how everything is better than it actually is.

[–] Lexam@lemmy.ca 9 points 5 months ago

Try all work done period. C suite "I made this"

[–] FrostyCaveman@lemm.ee 5 points 5 months ago

This is almost an anti-meme

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

ah but they sometimes put a sticker on it or sth

[+] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works -11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I mean you CAN just get an evening marketing job, 8-5 engineering, half hour break, 5.30-1:30am writing marketing copy, designing campaigns, A/B testing, budget management, demand gen, lead gen, sales enablement, CRO/CPC/CAC management, Martech tool alignment, attribution tracking, SEO research, content marketing, press releases and 3P distribution tools, all of which matched against brand voice and targeting to ABM the specific ICP within each vertical.

There's literally nothing stopping you.

[–] fauxerious@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

so half my day would be filled with bullshit, great

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works -3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

ah yes, the famously bullshit-free career of software engineering

[–] BleatingZombie@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Exactly. Why add on?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I mean I'm kidding around, but really, most of the time we're making a product to sell, and then selling the product to make more of it (or a new/better version of it) so that we can sell it more... so we can make it more... to sell more...

Its just all part of the same cycle. The OP meme could equally be:

Sales/Marketing: I made this sale

[...]

Product: I made this sale.

its bullshit all the way down.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I understand there's some jest in this expression but I strongly object. I work tuning queries and doing that awful database shit yall dread and I find a lot of fulfillment in supporting devs and providing a better user experience.

I can guarantee you I'd be stuck in the deepest depths of depression if I tried a career in sales. Job satisfaction is high enough a priority for me that I'm currently wrestling with my dumbass PE overlords to stop trying to bankrupt our company even as they underpay me by an embarrassing amount.

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Yea, but, alternatively, sales could just stop being entitled pricks. I've worked with sales people that were excellent - they had a technical mind and were able to grasp what our product could and couldn't do and, if they were uncertain... they would fucking ask me. And I've worked with sales people that won't tell me they made a sale until two months later when the deadline is a week away.

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Nah fam just sell something that doesn't exist and make engineers magic it into existance that week

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 2 points 5 months ago

h8 u

(/jk, of course)

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 months ago

Best software salesman I ever met was the best because he knew how to fucking listen. He worked for an electrical engineering software company. First time I ever met the guy, he flies into town to meet with my employer, his client, for the first time after taking over the account. I called him up and asked if I could buy him dinner the night before the big meeting, basically to warn him that they're on the verge of getting fired.

Dude walks into the meeting the next day with nothing but a pen and a legal pad, introduces himself, and says something like, "I'm not happy because I've heard you all are not happy. I'm going to do whatever I can to fix that so I want you to tell me every single problem you're having no matter how small you think it is." And they let him have it for a good two hours. He took it like a champ, listened to and documented every single complaint, and made an actual effort to get fixes for the things we were upset about. He saved a $2 million a year account just by listening and making an effortto help keep the customer happy.

I guess the moral of the story is, good salespeople don't sell products. They solve problems.