I had a priest bless the hot dogs I'm going to eat tonight.
Remember, if the Taliban won, you would have to be grilling Halal meats. Good thing that didn't happen.
this post was submitted on 26 May 2024
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chapotraphouse
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the taliban did win
That's the joke.
This would be dope lmao
Kebabs, shawarmas...? Don't threaten me with a good time! 
At a Halal cookout, someone would probably at least hook me up with some falafel without being weird about it lol
If the nazis won we'd all be grilling bratwurst but lower quality!! And eating hamburgers!!
If the Brits won the war of 1812, we'd have to fry fish instead of grill and cover our entire meals in malt vinegar!
I had to top my hot dog with Gochujang today because we didn't win the Korean War yet.
Fuck h*mburgers, in this house we eat liberty sandwiches like god intended
"That's right son, if Da Troops didn't kill children around the world, we wouldn't have the freedom to kill children like you here in meat factories. And without that child labor, these meat tubes would be slightly more expensive. Well, the price probably wouldn't actually change, but shareholder profit wouldn't be maximized..."
Can I still grill veggie dogs instead of hunting my own American soldiers to grill?
Don’t forget the liquid smoke
Nobody grills outside of the United States
It's a US-exclusive freedom paid for with the blood of poor kids with few options and their sacrificial victims on the other side of the world
People outside of the USA grill disgusting vegetables, seriously who in their right mind eats things from the ground?
Burger country
it'd be more efficient to make sausage directly out of the troops
Holy shit, I thought I was eating innocent animals and now you tell me I was eating US soldiers this whole time? I'm going to order my next burger with double beef
Remember to fuck your nearby dependent
Eating imperialists is vegan.
We had to take over that oil refinery. Otherwise, the terrorists who hate us for our freedom would have undercut good American companies on the international crude market. We had no choice.
That's why memorial day is one of my favorite holidays. I get a day off and get to celebrate dead American soldiers? Talk about a win win
Amazing satire
American Civil Religion, not even once.
Kid: "So which part of the veterans are the hot dogs made out of, Dad?"
Dad: 