If not friend, why friend-shaped? :(
this post was submitted on 23 May 2024
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Too be fair, we can kill them too. I bet people kill more bears than bears kill people.
In 2023 hunters reported harvesting 1,616 black bears in Oregon – 680 during the spring season and 936 in the fall
https://myodfw.com/articles/2024-spring-bear-hunting-forecast
Oregon has not documented any fatal bear attacks.
https://www.kptv.com/2023/05/24/bear-attacks-la-grande-man-after-he-shoots-it-twice/
Looked it up fairly recently (cuz you know men got mad about bears or whatever) but don’t have source on me: Black bears cause about 1.2 human deaths per year across all of America.
That's probably about right. Black bears don't get into fights they don't have to. I don't know how many dozens of black bears I've been around, but the only problem I've ever had involved a cub. Even that was a communication issue! I was trying to get the hell out of there, the cub was moving towards me, and the sow didn't like me moving in any direction lol
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Takes them five years to finally kill that second human
The only stories I hear about black bear related deaths typically involve some kind of "Messing With Sasquatch" moment on a couple of cubs.
It's kinda why I never got the whole would you rather thing. As a fairly big dude, I'd much prefer the bear over a man or a woman. The bear is more than likely just going to scamper off. Even decent people in bad situations are very dangerous creatures, and more than likely, I'm just going to have to take care of a complete stranger in the woods.
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No question. They're regularly hunted.
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I understand why they kill us.
In addition to destroying their habitats for strip malls, we rope them into entirely too many of our rhetorical infighting arguments.
It must be unbearable for them.
I'm sorry, I never can resist poking the bear.
I can bearly stand these puns.
We also taunt them with solidified gelatine sweets.
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Feeling cute, might eviscerate later!
Can I pet that dog?
Only once.
I wish ancient humans had domesticated bears and bred them to be pet-sized
The best time to do this was 1000 years ago. The second best time is now!
On a less jokey note, pretty much every living mammal has been subjected to domestication attempts at some point in history. Bears, elephants, tigers, hippopotami, moose... More often than not, there's some kind of inherent physiological reason why it doesn't work.
Some animals don't breed well in captivity (pandas, famously, but cheetahs are another classic case). Some can't handle captivity at all - the few efforts at keeping Great Whites in captivity ended with the animals bludgeoning themselves to death on the walls of their enclosures. Others are consistently too aggressive to effectively tame (zebras, coyotes, chimps, elephants, and pythons are notable for all the historic instances domestication failed for these reasons). And some simply aren't pleasant household companions - skunks, raccoons, and foxes are all notable for their powerful odors and their propensity to destroy the interiors of homes.
There's some speculation as to whether cats ever were actually domesticated successfully, or whether we've simply chosen to ignore their feral habits as such.
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Well there are red pandas. I've always wanted to cuddle one
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It wouldn't be so bad if they could only cuddle you to death. Still not great, but better...
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Same thing with big cats:
A Jaguar or Leopard just looks and acts like a big house cat.. but it can crush your skull with one bite and can drag your dead body 30 feet vertically up a tree.
Then why are house bears not a thing? Not fair.
They're called raccoons and they put holes in your drywall.
Ah yes, Raccoon Willie demonstrates that very very well https://piped.video/watch?v=E5ODWQPhB_0
(One of my favorite vintage YouTube videos)
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At least we get other domesticated Caniformia (the "dog-like" suborder), just no domesticated Ursidae (bear family) specifically.
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Polar bears look closer to how a giant killing machine is supposed to look.
Well, they won't kill you right away... They'll toy with you for a while then kill you.
Worth it.
Tigers are fairly common household pets in places like India, since they very much are like cats and are glad to be a cuddle-bug for free food. However this is at the risk that the tiger will forget herself and maul you in a moment of playfulness or annoyed aggression. And once you're dead, well, there's one last meal you can offer before it's back to life in the jungle.
This is not to say all tigers are amenable. Some are just assholes.
Same with bears, and people have lived alongside bears for eons, knowing full well that alliance only lasts until famine comes a'knocking once again. (Grim fact, -- relevant considering famine in Palestine -- enough famine will drive us social apes to turn on each other and go full cannibal, which is why it's regarded as a major humanitarian crisis, and cruel to induce. It's also why Bron killed all the known thieves in anticipation of the imminent siege.)
In the meantime, Grizzly Man lived with bears for ten years before getting killed by an unfamiliar one that was just a jerk.
Tigers are fairly common household pets in places like India
Are you sure this statement is true¿? I never heard about any story of anybody having a fucking tiger as a pet
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Tigers also kill people way more often than bears.
Stats on this are hard to compare because black bears are responsible for 1.2 kills in the US per year and tigers are like 34 kills per year in India which does have like 4x the population of humans, but also there’s a LOT less tigers to do that killing [like 5,000 tigers to 400,000 black bears] So like… yeah.
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Tigers are not common household pets in India
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Well, it's fucked up for them that the bipedes made up of delicious meat have guns...
They won't just kill you. They fuckin' EAT you.
Seriously, polar bears are one of the few animals in the world that see humans as prey and a legitimate food source.
There are many animals that can kill you, very very few that will eat you.
Humanity: having an obesity epidemic
Polar Bears: "increased fat stores?? D E L I C I O U S"
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Oh, if you're particular to the white ones, it's the -40° that'll kill you. Not the bear.
Yeah... the -40° and the opened abdomen
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There's only one bear I would have as a pet..
Red panda.
From what I've heard they're basically like a dog with opposable thumbs, which sounds like an awful pet.
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