/c/Vent: Vent about your life here

It's almost impressive how you're able to write out, so presumably understand, at least a couple of very good reasons why we would choose bear over man, while also completely missing the point and choosing to first frame the debate as "tiresome", "kvetching" (whining, to those unfamiliar), ridiculous, and worst - making men feel fed up, entirely prioritising and derailing the debate to how men feel (which is completely disconnected from reality, where their feelings, as well as rights and freedoms, are prioritised 99% of the time), when it's them being all of those negative things (tiresome, whiny, ridiculous, making women fed up) and also threatening, abusive, and violent in the first place that makes us want so desperately to avoid them.

Men are not the fucking victim here, I'm sick and fucking tired of them being frame as such.

If us picking bears over them hurts their fee-fees so much, perhaps they should consider why, and try to change, instead of repeating the exact behaviours that make us make that choice, and then blame us for being "tiresome" and insensitive.

I'm reasonably sure these women are just kvetching. I often say 'I'd rather drink piss' to express that I don't like something. Obviously I'm not actually going to drink piss.

Nope. 100% serious. A guy who knows we are alone is way more dangerous than a bear. I'd rather drink piss AND be stuck in the woods with a bear than with a man. It's not even remotely a question in my mind. Bear won't hunt me down for pleasure, if we run in to each other than I might have a problem. But even then, most people survive bear attacks, but most women are killed by men.

A bear isn't malicious.

True, and I have 0 trust that a random man away from others wouldn't be.

I've not commented on this yet, but I feel like giving my piece now. I hope other men will listen. As a cis male I think women feeling that a bear is safer to be around than a random man is justified. I've heard enough horror stories... And I'd say I have enough emotional intelligence to tell women have heard or even experienced far more. None of this is to say men can't be treated the same, or that only men are perpetrators of violence, sexual or otherwise.

I had to unlesrn a lot of misogynistic beliefs, which involved getting over the self victimization of thinking misandry is at all comparable to misogyny, let alone equally bad.

Something men also fail to realize, I've noticed, is that patriarchy hurts them too, far more than feminism ever could. Patriarchy involves men reaching for an ideal version of themselves that doesn't exist. Every man ever will have qualities the rest of society might consider feminine. It could be something like being gay, being sensitive like myself, or even something as simple as not liking the same things other men do... I've seen the kinds of people who end up at the top of patriarchal hierarchies, we all have. Strong men dictators or dictator wannabes like Trump or Putin are who I'm thinking of. These men are so insecure about their masculinity they artificially elevate it, and they may be worshipped by the masses who think one person can and will solve all their problems... but in the end it's clear men elevated to this level are the most disgusting type of people, inside and out. Their place of power makes it so that when they fuck up, they receive no consequences. Others do instead.

In Iran where I grew up, I'd say patriarchy was stronger than here in North America, if such a thing can be measured as such. More than here, there the only emotions we were allowed to feel was: fear of our higher ups, anger towards those lower, and lust towards those lower but only kept secret. No compassion, empathy, etc. Nobody really believes the Islamic Republic's propaganda, not even their supporters. But that doesn't mean it has zero effect. Boys I grew up around were so quick to dismiss simple rules of consent as if it was nothing. Segregating men and women makes things extremely tense between them, to out it mildly. And that's nor getting into how queer folk are affected.

I could go on endlessly about this, but I feel satisfied for now. I'll wnd with saying that the men who are mad at women expressing how they feel, telling them they're wrong should, instead, direct that anger at men who'd make them feel that way.

Hadn't heard of this until just now..

I'm a cis het white guy.

I think 99% of the time a random guy is safe, there's a lot of guys out there, maybe I have tinted glasses, I'll say 75% of the time a random guy is safe, maybe I'm sheltered in my California comfort, 50% of the time a random guy is safe.

I wouldn't think myself safe in more than 2% of encounters with a bear, no sarcasm. Take a walk in a park in Alaska, it doesn't matter how many people are around you're always questioning every noise.

And for that comparison I understand survivors concerns with random people, but bears are not a comparable thing in Bear country (much like I haven't been in vulnerable women's shoes) (maybe sun bears or small black bears.... Not the big ones...)