this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] MeatsOfRage@lemmy.world 123 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

From: Dad

Subject: fw: fw: fw: fw: fw: re: fw: FW: fw: SO TRUE.

[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 4 points 6 months ago

Complete with a full chain of CC headers so you can harvest the emails of about 400 old men they used to work with and everyone at the golf club.

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 57 points 6 months ago (1 children)

only Men will get this joke.

[–] ChilledPeppers@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

The female mind isn't capable of understanding this

[–] Broken_Monitor@lemmy.world 54 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Makes me wonder what the EU men do

[–] RidderSport@feddit.de 76 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] hoss@lemmynsfw.com 15 points 6 months ago

Official EU response:

[–] STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world 15 points 6 months ago (5 children)

UK men look at books that depict beautiful women with teeth that aren't fucked up.

French men look at books that depict women who aren't cheese eating, chain smoking, fuck ugly surrender monkeys

German/Scandinavian men look at books that depict women that actually smile.

Irish men look at books that show women who aren't slobbering alcoholics

Iberian/Italian men look at books depicting women who are capable of communicating in an indoor volume

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 57 points 6 months ago

Offend Everyone 100% speedrun

[–] AMDIsOurLord@lemmy.ml 23 points 6 months ago

Wake up babe new EU slander just dropped

[–] yamapikariya@lemmyfi.com 8 points 6 months ago

Expertly done

[–] Baleine@jlai.lu 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] DraughtGlobe@feddit.nl 3 points 6 months ago

Found the Frenchman

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[–] JackLSauce@lemmy.world 27 points 6 months ago (3 children)
[–] atocci@kbin.social 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] femboy_bird@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 6 months ago

🥵🥵☢️☢️

[–] sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 months ago

Fallout 5: Lady Town

[–] Alsjemenou@lemy.nl 1 points 6 months ago

Ooh, I thought nqked.. Doh

[–] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

To be fair, there are naked ladies in the Bible too.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 8 points 6 months ago (2 children)

That Song of Solomon is some horny shit.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I love the argument that it’s about the love between god and his followers. Like, nothing against horny deities even ones who fuck their followers, but this interpretation sure does make it sound like the god who demands chastity really wants to fuck you.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

It's really contrived, too. This argument comes from people who will tell you that you have to use the whole Bible and not read between the lines. Then they have to struggle to find a reason for Song of Solomon to be there when it's been considered canon for thousands of years.

Can't just use the straightforward conclusion that Solomon was horny.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

The man was fucking 1000+ women according to kings. Lol at the idea they need to hide it

[–] FatTony@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Was that the one about them two daughters? I feel so bad for that father. Like couldn't they have found literally anyone else?!

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (2 children)

No it's an erotic poem actually. Has lines like "her breasts are like twin gazelles".

[–] FatTony@lemmy.world 9 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

Nice, I'll save that line for my girl 😎

Edit: She didn't get it.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Here is the text. It's actually quite pretty. You don't have to be religious to enjoy it. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Song%20of%20Solomon%201&version=ESV

[–] snf@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Help me out here, I'm having trouble picturing this. Like... a pair of complete, full-size gazelles? Just fastened to the woman's torso? If not, which parts?

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

I found it!

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

That's the quote yeah.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That was Lot fleeing Sodom or Gomorrah or some shit. I mean, if I thought the world was ending and the only person around was my dad, and I was female, goodbye human race okay.

[–] FatTony@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

For real, humanity just deservers to die at that point I would figure.

[–] w2tpmf@sh.itjust.works 15 points 6 months ago

My wife would be super freaked out and disgusted if I was reading a Bible.

She'd sit down and flip though the naked ladies one though.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 15 points 6 months ago

Needs to be drawn like a 1950s newspaper comic

[–] Battle_Masker@lemmy.world 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] havokdj@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Aremel@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You dare question the mighty Jimmy?!

[–] havokdj@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Get down on your friggin knees, right friggin now, and pray with me!

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago
[–] Sabata11792@kbin.social 4 points 6 months ago

Thank you for the suffering.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 4 points 6 months ago

Reading the BDSM sections of the bible about stoning the ladies ?

[–] WhoPutDisHere@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 6 months ago

Fucking love when my wife leaves, and I take my right hand off and enjoy my N*KED LADY BOOK.

[–] BenFranklinsDick@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago
[–] hark@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Took me a bit to figure out what BI BLE is. I initially thought it had to do with bisexuality.

[–] stoehraj@lemm.ee 7 points 6 months ago

Bisexual Bluetooth Low Energy

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Not that but rape and slavery for sure.

[–] FlickeringScreens@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Tony Zaret, so peak

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago
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