For a short adventure / one-shot, I played an intelligence-based tome warlock (using some of the play test materials). His patron was… himself, in the past. He was a terrible evil wizard who realized the error of his ways, wiped his own memory, and restarted. His tome was just his old spell book, most of which was pretty gnarly stuff. Slowly finding that out would have been a fun journey if he was a long-term character.
RPGMemes
Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs
I'll preface this by noting that the sin of sloth has traditionally been understood to be a sin of omission, not just commission, i.e., you are insufficiently devoted to the things you ought to be.
Which means you could, in theory, have a (reflavored tiefling) devil paladin so devoted to sloth he works against evil causes. He's not interested in good per se, it's just that advancing the interests of good and traveling with a good adventuring party has the best ROI for failing to carry out his evil responsibilities.
Naturally, this has caused a fair amount of controversy among sloth devils, and there is a multi-century trial going on in the Hells about whether this ought to be allowed. This is not expected to be resolved in the foreseeable future because the advocates for both parties keep filing their responses well after petition deadlines expire.
It's hard to get anything through the court in hell, what with every lawyer in history getting involved.
A Reborn Necromancer that acted like a Children's Edutainer. All my undead were just guests on the show to teach people morals, math, and words.
Delightfully deranged.
“Floop is madman, help us, save us”
A stereotypical, run-of-the-mill wizard.
You know the type: Academic, aloof, bookworm, a bit naive, likes to use long Latin words, ...
Only he wasn't a wizard. His parents couldn't afford tuition at the academy, so he applied for a job as janitor to get access to the buildings. Spent several years mingling with the students and teachers so he could fake the lingo. And he pinched the odd magical item that let him "cast" some cantrips.
Now he's faking being a wizard to rise up in society.
Got to love a Fake Wizard. I wanted to play one who was a wizarding student who was grandfathered into a wizard school (literally his grandfather founded the school) who got expelled for messing up so bad he almost destroyed the entire school. The accident would have bound him to a celestial somehow which is why he is a scourge Aassimar and Zealot barbarian. He has these powers he doesn't know where they are coming from and are slowly changing him into something less human and more divine.
He would of course still have a quarterstaff, wearing school robes, have a arcane sigil on his shield and be convinced he is a new type of wizard. He would have cantrips and some magic but doesn't understand how or why.
Now I want to play the reverse...a fake barbarian. A really intelligent wizard that realized people don't ask him to work as much if he pretends to be illiterate and dumb. Quickened True Strike when he rages, etc.
I wanted to play a necromancer of no particular class, whose skeletal grandmother followed him around under his thrall. His village practiced a kind of ancestor worship where on holidays they animate the skeletons of their family and dress them up in clothes and jewelry and try to (symbolically) show them a good time as a gesture of appreciation. The tribe's forest was burned down or village destroyed and PC had to run for it, taking only his most prized possession - the bones of his matriarch. Over the course of the campaign I'd like to add nicer clothes and jewelry to the skeleton, maybe give it magic items.
Ultimately it's just not feasible to play a non-evil necromancer, and my table doesn't play evil anyway either.
Throwaway idea: A Loxodon (elephant) bard named Harry Elefánte.
If this is 5e, you could probably have done the first idea as a battlesmith artificer, flavouring your steel defender as the thrall.
I had one of these, a Aarakokra Druid named Wyrd.
A gnoll taken as a cub and raised by good clerics as a test of nature vs nurture. He was all about freeing slaves and offering redemption to evildoers, but was also bloodthirsty in battle with the truly evil.
A Gnome Artificer who was mute. It was interesting to use only visual langauge to communicate with people. I had a "system" where I could use the magic items / features you get from Gnome and Artificer to talk if I decided I really needed to, but I tried to limit that both for in universe reasons, and meta reasons. Kinda defeats the purpose if you can just magic your way out of it. The idea was that she was cursed by a fey creature, and could cheat a little bit with magic, but eventually the curse would hurt too much to talk more than a little. Eventually I started to feel like the trope of Nynaeve from The Wheel of Time, only replace hair pulling with glares and knowing smiles etc.
Shadowrun 4e. A hacker who was way into drag racing. I got really into statting his race car, and even made driving equal to hacking. He was in deep in the underworld, trying to buy his childhood friend out of her indentured servitude at a brothel.
Mad Max style wasteland campaign: A Shepard boy, skilled at archery, wandering the wasteland with a talking dog (who was named Blood, but wasn't evil). I saw this kid as being on the more idealistic and good side, and I picked a concept connected to society in contrast to what the other PCs picked (A reformed Mohawker, a powerful mutated woman wielding a stop sign, and a "priest of KISS" following the concert routes his roadie parents took before the bombs dropped, mistaking them for religious pilgrimage).... sorry that one had a lot of gas.
Superheroes: A jewish journalist who learns he is the inheritor of the Golem of Prague, and with it, a tradition of Talmudic magic. The other party members were a Bisexual paramedic/ vigilante by night (me and her player agreed that we were roommates lol) and the last one was a black teenager who killed a cop after he had paralyzed his brother. The campaign started and we were "the cop killers" and were protecting a small minority community but I keep thinking that had so much gas in the tank and room to grow and I might spin that off into its own campaign.
I'm just so sick of heroic high fantasy
All your groups sound super fun. Priest of KISS made me chuckle.
Fuuuuuck I wanna be in that superhero game.
Hells yeah. Whole ACAB campaign.
I’m just so sick of heroic high fantasy
I don't think I've played/run fantasy since before covid. Couldn't be happier
lol lucky. I dont even hate heroic fantasy, I think 5e is like lower mid and i think through no fault of its own its just the current edition when the brand had its moment with critical role and stranger things. I wouldn't hate like, Exalted or Icon, or even like, fantasy craft or 13th age even.
Dude i just got the exalted books (some of them anyway) and i so want to play a lunar hedge king. Looks like one of the best fantasy games I've ever read.
An insane Bavarian retired geology professor, turned conspiracy theorist, who was trying to bring his dead wife back, and win back the approval of his estranged daughter. Died one session in after being bitten by an insane cultist.
Yes, I did a Bavarian dialect the whole time. No, I'm not good at it. Yes, there where real Bavarians at the table (well, one of them was Franconian, but same difference (don't tell her I said that)).
At first I read Barovian instead of Bavarian.
He sounds like he'd have his own Telegram channel.
Well, the campaign took place in Berlin in the '20s (Call of Cthulhu, specifically Berlin: The Wicked City), but in modern times, sure.
Low wis warlock who is convinced he's actually a Paladin, and is confused why his oath keeps seeming to change arbitrarily. Thought that signing the contract was making his oath.
Big beefy warrior with a heart of gold and a peanut brain that could crush anyone easily but she would rather be friends with everyone and have everyone play along. It's a heartbreaking character to play in games that just assume all you're gonna be doing is killing, but it could be pretty cute as the muscle of more diplomatic sorts of campigns.
A tiefling divine soul sorcerer with the Criminal background. He was born to two pious tiefling clerics of Lathander who saw their fiendish blood as a curse, and prayed to cleanse their unborn child of devilish influence. When he was born a Divine Soul, his parents tried to raise him as their perfect priestess. He had to be a model tiefling, a representative of his entire race as well as Lathander himself. He chafed under the obligation and ran away from home, living on the streets and stealing to get by, all while trying to hide his divine soul powers out of a combination of rejecting them and just trying not to draw attention.
Slinking around in the shadows eventually led to him wandering into the Mists of Ravenloft, and he found himself in Barovia. He found his way into a party and essentially just acted like the party rogue for a bit until combat came and he got backed into a corner and he suddenly started throwing around guiding bolts.
I was really looking forward to doing a whole arc with him reclaiming his powers and figuring out what it meant to be himself, but OOC stuff led to me leaving that group before he had a chance to leave his edgy rogue phase :c
A human beastmaster whose spellcasting focus was a tiny awakened shrub (which was slightly on fire) and had a flying snake pet.
He was a Pokemon trainer. "Cindertwig, use your Thorn Whip! Now, Create Bonfire!" "Flython, do a Poison Fang attack!"
We only had one very short combat for the 1 shot.
At first, I thought you were referencing the Old testament.
Game: Scion
A Scion of Odin, my concept is that when Odin gouged out his eye at Well of Urd at the base of Yggdrasil and tossed said eye in, he inadvertently created something new.
The droplets of blood and the eye were infused by the waters and bled into the roots of Yggdrasil. The most resilient among them trickled into the other realms. My character ultimately arrived in Midgard, in Venice Beach. Little more than a sentient blob of blood with a lone eye contained inside, he fed on smaller creatures and grew in the darkness.
Discovered by a bunch of surfers, he was taken in as a pet. He grew big and strong enough to take a form, amalgamating the looks of the other surfers into a new form entirely. At the start of his adventure he is called Grom, short for Grommet. He lives as a surfer bum, begging food and a few bucks off of people and living in an abandoned building by the beach. So long as he has the waves and his friends, he has everything he needs.
That is, until the arrival of a one-eyed young man who tries to kill him and cut his eye out. Grom wins the scuffle, coming out barely injured. It is only then that Odin comes to visit him, pleased at his victory. He forewarns Grom that because he has Odin’s other eye, others like him will be coming to try to claim that eye.
Grom is very physically adept, with points mostly put into Str, Dex, and Con. He’ll also have Appearance and Wisdom as backup stats. In the party he is the reluctant hero, wanting nothing more than to hang with his friends, but understanding that he must undergo this trial before he can live in peace again.
Oh Trullius, my poor bard of oration, a rhetorical master of sophistry. He may never see the light of a campaign, and maybe that's for the best.
I got to play this character for several sessions, but he deserved more.
A lesser Devil ~~modified bard~~ chef. D&D Pirate Game with a drow captain of a haunted ship.
My bard powers were all based on cooking. In order to buff the crew I had to feed them. I had a constant supply of hors d'oeuvres, tiny deserts, etc. After combat, I would heal the party by cooking 5 star gourmet meals. I fought with a meat cleaver.
My back story: I was basically on the run. I was Gold Star Master of Sauces and Boilings, 3rd Degree Initiate of the Sulfur Ovens and Bonded Sous-chef of the School of Flesh and Broth in the City of Dis, 87 years into a 500 year Sous-chef contract that I was AWOL from. I got summoned to the Prime Material Plane in order to cater a wedding party for the daughter of a shady wizard and I managed to exploit a loop hole in the contract I signed with him to leave to get ingredients and never come back. He was pissed at me for ruining his daughter's wedding reception and my masters at the School of Flesh and Broth told him "Capture and return our Sous-chef, or else!" So he was my primary antagonist.
But I had a plan! I wrote up a contract for people to sign to try to get them to be my apprentices. By Prime Material Plane standards, I was a genuine gold star level chef. All those poor sods you see competing on Hell's Kitchen would kill to study under someone of my skill level. Basically, the contract was structured such that if they managed to complete an apprenticeship with me, they should be able to obtain employment with kings, popes and sultans. However, if they failed to complete their apprenticeship, I would own their soul. My goal was to be a complete dick to my apprentices to the point that they would give up and run away and fail to complete their training. Then, when I had a small collection of souls, I could return to the 9 Hells and buy out my contract and get them to stop chasing me.
Sadly, the campaign only lasted three sessions.
A few of my favourite clauses from the contract:
Apprentice certifies that, to the best of their knowledge, their Mortal Soul is in sound and original condition, not bound into their body through any enchantments, curses or blessings of undeath or deathlessness (or other mystical bindings), not owed to any other being of the Lower Planes or other Outer Planar Origin, not claimed by any deity or near-deity for any purpose and in no other ways is it’s transfer into Chef’s lawful possession in the event of a breach (5.0). impeded. Furthermore, that they will NOT promise, commit, sell, license or gift their soul to any third party during the terms of this contract.
Neither party shall be liable for any failure to perform their obligations under this agreement if prevented from doing so by a cause or causes reasonably beyond their control. Without limiting the generality of the foregoing, such causes include Acts of deities or near-deities, disruptions to the structure of the planes of existence, infernal war operations (the Blood War), temporal disruptions, Wishes made by third parties or other similar cause or causes which could not with reasonable diligence be controlled or prevented by the party. This clause IN NO WAY waives the obligations of the Apprentice with respect to clause clause 1.1 i.
If Apprentice abandons the apprenticeship due to unanticipated death (2.5), a grace period of 3 days will be granted, during which time Apprentice may be resurrected or otherwise returned to life (including as an undead being), upon which event Apprentice agrees to immediately and without delay return to their Apprenticeship. Failure to do so shall be considered a breach of this contract.
This was a glee to read.
Also "87 years into a 500 year Sous-chef contract" sounds like a job I once had.
A warforged that escaped the war, met another defector, and together tried to start a new life. Unfortunately, the kingdom sent assassins after them in order to silence them and make sure that they would not switch sides. The human died, but the warforged lived on, carrying with it the remorse of not being able to save them. To honor its friend, it kept the nickname that the human gave it - Hector, which was a pun based on its model name (Tactical Heavy Operations Robot, model H -> H, T.H.O.R. -> Hector).
Survivor's guilt was the main idea behind the build: It was a Fighter Rune Knight built to tank damage and protect its allies as better as it could (Heavy armor master, Interception fighting style, Cloud rune).
Tanking damage is not optimal in DnD (killing the damage dealer is always the best choice) but it was meant to be a low-level one shot, so it was fine. Unfortunately work, family and other real life issues got in the way and the party wasn't able to convene on a date where everyone could gather and play for four hours straight.
I had a quite literally hottest character I ever came up with: A wizard that liked fire a bit too much for his own good. He was a master of flames, the best from the Monastery he spent decades on. But the more power he gained through the fire, the more and more he lost his own mind. At the time of the campaign, he was in a sort of Limbo. He couldn't remember most of his life, and he couldn't shake off the insatiable desire to spread the flames he encountered. If he spent too long besides a fire, he would start to hear It louder and louder, to the point where he would lose control and be possessed by his flaming desire, which had full memory and access to the spells he no longer remembered, which often resulted in the complete destruction of everything around.
I actually got to play this character, and was a ton of fun with the party I had, but unfortunately the campaign was put on hold indefinitely due to personal matters of the DM.
These are amazing.
I'm going to shamelessly steal some of these for NPCs in my campaigns.
In the first campaign I ever played in, I ran a necromancy wizard that was neutral good.
Basically, he grew up a hermit and has zero awareness of the taboos surrounding his school of magic. However, because of his alignment, he has a very different approach to how he uses his magic.
Whenever he has to raise undead to fight for him, he does it by asking for their aid rather than outright raising them. He approaches the practice more as a way to preserve the lives of the living rather than a way of amassing servants or power. When he no longer needs their help, he thanks them and tries to make sure they either return to their resting place or are given a proper burial.
His overarching goal is to ensure everyone lives a long, full life and wishes to find a way to resurrect others in the way other classes can to help achieve that goal.
Didn't get to play him for long since the group kinda fell apart
A wizard whose primary job was at a (magical) Whitesmith's guild. He etched his spells onto sheets of metal, inlaid his armor, and constantly talked about how guilds were part of a functioning society, unlike those peasants and lords, and definitely not a bunch of monopolistic corporation-cum-ruthless-gangs and how it was definitely just a coincidence that the son of the previous ruler was always elected in their city.
From Deadlands Classic:
A snake handling Pentecostal Blessed with the “grim servant of death” flaw. As he genuinely tries to save souls, people often get bit by the rattlesnakes he carries with him. Technically he doesn’t break the law but most sheriffs don’t want him sticking around. Sadly the campaign never got started.
Not mine, but a collaborativr effort: Young dryad loses physical body and is imprisoned in a robotic shell. She escapes and now all of her former magical druid powers are a combination of mechanical contraptions and just a dash of magic. She runs on magic energy, but her acid spray cantrip is truly a small vaporizer embedded in her palm. Really cool, but the Player stop playing that char vecause we restricted her wild shape to much :/ in hindsight, i really dont like my dming decisions regarding that char
Changling College of Eloquence Bard. They were basically a con artist.
Came into the campaign a few sessions late.9 The party was looking for a healer to replace another player that had to drop. When they encountered my bard they were pretending to a cleric of Lathander in order to run a scam in the local village. The scam was played out and my character was looking for a fast exit.
We were playing a Ravnica campaign so I made an Orzhov Order Cleric who was a criminal attorney.
Life is short. Debt is eternal!
I had a really neat idea about playing a changeling bladesinger who most likely pretended to be elven to learn the art, although I did have a not-quite-RAW idea about the old switched-at-birth changeling myth, where his elven "parents" would have taught him before he slipped up and they realized what he was.
He was actually three characters in one: a mostly nondescript human "bard", spinning extremely tall tales about a mysterious elven bladesinger who doled out vigilante justice at night (also the changeling), and the changeling himself, who hated the way people looked at his true form, would only have revealed it to the party if he had no other choice, and really just wanted to be a hero in a group of adventurers, doing the kind of stuff he made up and sang about in taverns.
I came up with this concept a few years ago, but even before COVID I was kind of my group's forever DM, so even if I ended up at a gaming table again soon I probably wouldn't get to play it, so if you like it, feel free to use it. You cannot steal what is gifted!
For a Supers game, I've been wanting to play a dragon - just start the game with a chunk of the downtown business district for my hoard, run it with enlightened self-interest (high wages, free healthcare, etc), and go after any supervillains that might threaten my modern "hoard" (which might include the people!)
The idea is that he'd be trying to transition himself from an avatar of fear and flame into something humanity might celebrate, or even venerate - after all, he's seen that humanity tends to wipe out things that terrify it!
Currently torn between a summoner who's eidolon is a devil butler that is very disapproving of basically their entire existence or a changeling gravewalker witch (or whatever the undead archetype was), both for the same carrion crown campaign so one will go unused.
Currently got an idea for a changeling punk singer that leans heavily into summer and pyretics, with a dash of primal. Very emotional and hot headed, with a partner (basically the literal exact opposite of them) they want to find. Unfortunately I'm the only one who runs changeling.
Really want to play a lunar exalted some day, a low class 'king' that other outcasts choose to follow. Very much unhappy the forces of chaos that threaten the world, the forces of order that demand control, and people in general. Sadly i don't see us running exalted any time soon since everyone in my group that's wants to run something is.
I always wanted to have to play a Hedgewitch who had a broad magic with a large number of first level spells and breaks some of the rules of magic. Its a Land Druid 2, Divination Wizard 2, Life Cleric 1, Land Druid 3+. The idea is he has heavy armor, wizard, cleric and druid spells which allows him to do lots of different types of magic with multiple ritual casting spells. With all of the subclass features he will be better at getting spells back from short rests, better healing from each spell, divination dice and the most flexible spell slots.
I think it would be fun as either the only magic user or as a backup magic user to fill all needs and niches.
Mine was a minotaur gladiator turned monster hunter (ua fighter subclass). His name was Daniel Notmonster and he'd been called monster so much during his days in the arena that he internalized a hatred of monstrosities. He was driven to prove he wasn't a monster by killing any he came across. He would also collect a bone from each monstrosity killed to scrimshaw a scene of the battle to kill it.