Chew it first so it goes down smoother
this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2024
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me_irl
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Yes. Chew that water you lazybones.
Cart narcs!
We've always called this "French Fry Syndrome" in my family, when you go to swallow a huge handful of fries and they do that super slow slide all the way down and it's painful as hell
??? Maybe don't shove handfuls of fries down your throat ???
Well you say that, but then there's fries and one thing leads to another
What are you the fries police?
Yes put the fries down and ur hands up 🔫
You just want to take my fries, scalawag.
But my fingers are all salty and greasy...
What are you a fucking communist?
Our fries
Watch out everybody, the fry police are here to stop us from shoving fries down our throat.
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I have this, even with a single fry at the start of a meal. Starchy or dry food in general. I'm about to get hiccup from that fry, then I down a half glass of water and I'm good for the rest of the meal.
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How many of your family members can fit in an average sized row boat?
LMFAO not cool
Dude...
Interesting. We call this "attempted suicide" in my family.
A universal experience. In the UK we sometimes call it "chip chest"
Esophageal Stricture?
You remember the "poop knife" story from Reddit where the dude made a casual comment and then found out his family was weird as fuck? This is your poop knife moment.
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Or me the other day when I Inhaled my own spit in my otherwise empty mouth, sending me into a coughing fit, which made everyone around me look at me like I had COVID instead of just having an inability to function at a basic level.
I do that almost hourly I feel. Really pisses me off
If it really happens that often, maybe get it checked out. Speech therapists also deal with swallowing disorders, which can be a sign of (potentially treatable) neurological conditions.
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What is that? I thought it was just me
Bronchoaspiration. Trust me, I'm a pretend doctor.
That's "going down the wrong pipe", not whatever the hell this is
Yeah, it's more like your throat cramps up instead of swallowing properly.
My mother is a nurse, apparently "the wrong pipe" is not proper terminology and I will continue using it
Your mom 1 minute later: "oh wait he wasn't talking about anal"
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I think it's a combination of overstretching the autonomous nervous system and smooth muscles basically leading to a cramp and the fact that the esophagus has a narrow spot in the middle (not a sphincter, just a bit more narrow).
I thought I was the only one. Hurts like a mofo.
I always figured it was your lower esophageal sphincter (the one by your stomach) kinda, like..spasming when you swallow, and then being seized up when the water tries to pass through, leading you to have to swallow extra-hard and force it through.
The resulting pain would be from having forced it, and feel like it's in your chest 'cause abdominal pains can tend to be pretty imprecise.
But, I know absolutely nothing about medicine or the human body, so don't take my word for that. These are just the ramblings of a filth-strewn peasant trying to make sense of the world around him.
Legit
I got "chest freeze" once and it was fucking weird. I call it that only because of what caused it and because I have never known anything like it or heard anyone else have a similar reaction.
A couple years ago Iwas working as an installer for a wireless ISP, mostly outdoors working on roofs and shit. This was in the summer and we had a helluva time surveying for the signal before we could install the dish and run the cable, hella hot and shit, on our last appointment of the day. We finally get done and leave the site, which was right next to an AM/PM so I stop and grab a couple Gatorades and as soon as I got back in my truck, just slammed one down. Fucker was ice cold and after I took a couple chugs, it was like a donkey kicked me in the chest. It hurt so bad. But only for like 30 seconds, like a brain freeze headache but in my chest. Shit was weird as fuck and sucked.
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If this is what drowning feels like I don't want to drown.
Water in your lungs is no laughing matter. Laughing will actually make the pain worse.
It's not a wrong pipe thing, it's like a spasm or cramping of your throat.
Skill issue
it's caused by the lector stultus maximus muscle
Lector stultus maximus muscle what?
Lector? Hardly knew 'er
Lector stultus maximus muscle who?
Lector stultus maximus muscle chka chka Slim Shady
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Yeah what is that, your body trying it's best to give you a hernia or what?
That's a hiatal hernia.
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