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I won a bid on a house, finally WON a bid, and signed the paperwork and house went into pending.

But then because the seller realtor made a "mistake" and they managed to get another bid before we could get attorney approval letters filled out. So suddenly another offer came through and the seller realtor had a responsibility "in the interest of fairness" to present this offer even though contracts were already signed. In the interest of fairness they gave us the opportunity to outbid this offer, but of course they wouldnt tell us what that offer was to get an opportunity to potentially match it or just give up.

And in 3 fun days I got the ups and downs of anticipation of getting an answer, the emotional high of finally winning a bid and getting a house, the hype from planning inspection dates and imaging where I can go from house and how I can make it my own, the excitement and joy in telling the people, then the dread of not knowing if I'll be able to keep the house, and finally the anger and sadness from having this fucking shark take my house away right out of my hands.

I'm staying positive I know we'll find something, but this market is killing me.

Pretty awful. Work sucks and I had to put my cat down on Friday. She was my best friend. I was okay over the weekend but I am increasingly lonely and heartachey.

Ready to jump off of a fucking cliff.

• Last week, Roommate loses extraordinary amount of money to a scammer. We ended up behind on rent and were served an eviction notice. Dealing with a rent bank now.

• Last week is also my 31st birthday and I end up having a gout flare up. Because you know. That's fun. I usually have to walk with a cane because of a worthless knee but now I get to add a worthless foot on the other leg so yay.

• Couldn't afford food or medication or really anything. Not as much of a problem at the moment but the stress still exists and having to plan for next month when the same situation is likely going to happen.

• This morning I got off the toilet and put pressure on the wrong part of my foot. Instant agony and I shift balance to the other foot but it's not in a position to support my weight. Grab for something to steady myself and all I grab is the toilet seat which gets part of it ripped off of the toilet. So now I have to buy a fucking toilet seat as well. I am hobbling right now. It takes me 30 seconds to move to the bathroom which is next door to my bedroom. Normally that's like... 3 seconds. So god knows when i'll be able to go out and get a toilet seat. So that's gonna end up with me positioned weirdly for the next week until this dies down.

• New chest pain that is not fun and god knows what the fuck is happening there but I can't see a doctor about it anytime soon. It's not 911 level of emergency. It's more of a nagging thing that comes and goes and feels muscular but still.

• What is scary is heart has been doing a thing. Beating it's own samba every now and again.

• I wrote myself into a corner with my DnD campaign and now I don't know what the fuck to do. We have a session tonight which will be finishing up a oneshot from before but still. I don't know what i'm gonna do and I can't think straight.

Please someone put me out of my misery.

Haven't posted on Lemmy before. Excited to be in a small queer community. This week: made some fun art with my partner, organized back if house at a nonprofit, had great coffee, and enjoyed nature

Very weird. I keep doing things and not being quite sure who's doing them. Having trouble not feeling super alone and isolated but also having trouble feeling like I'm me so it's kinda better in a weird way? Very strange. ... Kinda just wanted to tell somecritter about that, I guess 🤷‍♀

I hope it's okay if I pretend to bee a beehawer for a sec <.< I figure I kinda am in spirit, so maybe it's okay? Though lately Idunno if I'm me so who knows. wobbles awkwardly

My nesting partner played outside lands on Sunday and I've been busy getting ready for a planned surgery next week which will have me out of office for a bit on recovery so I'm notably exhausted today. While life has been weird and rocky lately, my spirits are actually quite high at this point in time. I'm enjoying life, and looking forward to having some time off work to spin up some projects and spend time and socialize with my loved ones more 😄

It's going pretty well, started my new job this week after 3.5 months unemployed!

Watching the drama unfold on lemmy.world and all the freeze peach warriors going ape shit over there has me grateful for this little corner.

Got an interview for a potential promotion at the company I work for. Pretty stoked.

Thankfully, its almost the end of my working week....2 nightshifts then I'm done.. Hope you enjoyed your time off..

Welcome back! ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪

Week is going alright. Found out I'll be moving ahead with an interview to the tech stage, after that it's a full panel then the decision. Got a few other options but admittedly this one seems the best so far in terms of benefits and pay. I'm gonna try to crash course myself and refresh my knowledge.

Outside of that, I'll be "enjoying" a Pacific NW heatwave this week. At least I have AC, though.

I've been attempting to make youtube videos for the first time. I realized there was a topic surrounding the new zelda game that hadn't been covered yet so I am doing finishing touches on that. But its made me want to make more videos.

I'm really struggling to come up with a core theme or topic for my channel. I'm thinking of making some kind of video game / anime / Manga type content. The tricky part is I don't want to do just reviews and I don't want to make just gameplay or whatever either. I was thinking of talking about certain topics. The idea seems really vague though. I'm also trying to not get discouraged before I even start.

But realistically I know that section of youtube is pretty saturated. So I know that whatever I make needs to be solid otherwise nobody will want to watch it lol.

I've been watching creators for over a decade now. I have a general idea of what makes good content and I've been doing more specific research too. But I realize at some point t I just need to start publishing stuff

Welcome back!

I'm on holiday at the Edinburgh fringe festival. Had like an hour's sleep but seen some great comedy already today. Treated myself to mussels and ice cream (not together) for dinner, looking forward to passing out at my hotel. Walked miles today which was much needed exercise even if my feet hurt!

Long day full of shows tomorrow, can't wait. Hardest thing will be pacing myself caffeine and alcohol wise. I'm not good at staying out all day

Still trying to come to terms with my new CPAP. I worked out a few bugs only to develop new ones. According to my smartwatch I'm still not staying in deep sleep for more than a minute or two at a time, and I'm absolutely exhausted. I'm hoping that it's just that the CPAP works as intended but I'm not used to it yet, because I'm not going to get any help from the ResMed drone who gave it to me. I'm relying on YouTube for advice, which has been both helpful and worrying- my device is apparently an APAP and many of the YouTube experts hate them and even call them dangerous.

I also got a stomach virus late last week, which I'm still getting over, which isn't conducive to good sleep. I had a massive fight with my adult son the day before I got sick, and then spent the weekend melting down from the sheer overwhelm of the exhaustion, illness, and emotional crap. I've been locked in my room since last Thursday and I'm not sure when it'll be safe to emerge.

I'm proud of myself!!

These last two days I've been working on my digital wellbeing. Did some filtering on all my email accounts (i have about 7), and deleted 25-30% overall :D

It took a lot of willpower to actually revisit mails dating back to 2013. Fun trip to the past.

Was at the hospital earlier, my left foot was swollen until I couldn't walk. Hyperuricimea (high uric acid leve) was the cause. Much better now, don't worry.

Not sure yet. I had the revelation that I struggle to set boundaries when I'm impaired by illness symptoms, though.

I have this friend that rang me up last night for advice on how she could set boundaries and after a 40 minute conversation about her life I realised I had been unable to take my own advice and set a limit on how much time I was willing to devote to that conversation.

My roomie wants to try living alone and our lease ends in a couple months. I'm really tired of paying my landlord's mortgage so I'm considering buying a decent looking prefab for 120k. I'm 28 and haven't even bought a car much less a house. But I can't stand renting and burning another 70k. It's ridiculous.

I am having whatever the programming equivalent of the reverse Midas Touch is this week. PRs that break things despite extensive testing beforehand, PRs that somehow break the infrastructure due to some obscure bug on their end that requires lengthy calls to Azure support, being left with no choice but to craft janky regex-based solutions to people keeping their data in inconsistent formats, and oh my god as much as I love IntelliJ I wish it was a bit more reliable about warning me when the config has a typo because our app does not start in a hurry.

I’m sure the programming gods will favour me a little more next week, but it is only Tuesday!

the weekend at the beach will be over tonight. i had too much work today, so i couldn't even pop out at lunchtime. still, i do think i got a bit of relaxing time in, and i feel a bit more even keeled than i have in awhile.

got my first few house sitting requests on rover. hopefully a few of them will actually go through so i can get a lil' extra money. my own dog needs a tooth pulled, but i've been putting it off because it's expensive and it's not bothering him to the point that he's not eating. hoping the rover gigs will eventually earn me enough to do that.

both dogs did really well at the beach house with my partner's parents' two dogs. one of them is ancient, but the other one is a 90lb goofball. my aussie did get nippy with him once over a toy, but i had him on a leash and was able to redirect right away.

Pretty good! I'm going to be able to get the first part to my custom PC next month (GPU, Raedon 6800 XT) so I'm pretty excited!

Bit early to tell, but I am looking forward to some good evenings planned.

Have a few social evenings this week that are just for me rather than family - (games night, pub trip, a work do etc). Very much needed as I’ve been feeling a tad isolated recently with work.

Just happened to all land on the same week, but they (mostly) kick off late enough that I can still help with the little boy bedtime routine so I don’t feel like I’m shirking parental duties. It wouldn’t really matter , my partner is awesome and would be plenty happy for me to have a few nights “off” - but always better when they dont come with that self inflicted guilt!

Okay. Going on month two of a new job at a startup that is building a fusion power plant. Moved out from mother’s house in June. Started painting landscapes. Finally reaching the end of TOTK, just in time to start Sea of Stars (sidenote, gaming in 2023 has been FIRE)

I'm working on a flyer for the open days of the place I work at. The hardest part is realizing that I'm a perfectionista and have to stop myself. I mean at this point I have files in writer, blender, Krita, Inkscape, and even unity. It's kinda absurd really, just for a tiny square one sided flyer.

Anyone else struggling with this blessingcurse?

I've been struck down by some mystery illness. My head hurts but mostly I'm just fatigued and my mental faculties aren't where they should be. I teach languages yet I can't remember words for basic things right now! So I'm taking a few days off to recover. Hopefully will be back in by the end of the week.

In other news, I'll be five months off alcohol this week. Social situations have become easier, I'm getting used to being a little bit goofy at parties and my friends have been super supportive! One even looked shocked when I held my partner's beer at a festival a few weeks ago and made a joke saying they couldn't remember the last time they saw me with a beer! It sounds small but it meant the world 😊

As I'm confined to my couch for the next little while I'm probably going to be a bit more active on beehaw! Hope you're all having a nice week!

Ooof, I'm not doing well. My disabilities and chronic illnesses and chronic pain are flaring up in all kinds of ways and I had to overdraft my bank account by $20 to afford my medication and I don't know how the hell I'm going to get the money to dig out of that hole since I can't work due to the aforementioned disabilities. & Then on top of that I have no idea how I'm going to be able to afford my medication next week.

I had a friend helping me but they lost their job so I'm on my own. Everything is so damn expensive and DEAR GOD HELP ME I'M DROWNING 😭

Our air conditioner is broken and I'm super heat sensitive which is making the pain and other symptoms worse. In really stressed about that and the money and I don't know what to do. I don't have anything I can sell. I'm FUCKED. OhgodohgodohgodfuckfuckFUCK

Okay. Fucking tired as shit, although that's not something that can be changed much considering complicated personal nonsense.

World Cup is going great. Having some fun with that. (As long as I ignore all social media and avoid going to "alien logo discussion site", which I made the mistake of doing today... shiver)

Today's game became a fucking roller coaster in the last ten minutes. Supported both teams and would have been fine if either won, but my slightly preferred team won, so I'm good.

Speaking of football, I decided to finally watch Ted Lasso. It was nice to have a show with some heart that doesn't embrace this bullshit cynicism so much else does (well, new animated Superman show also helps, thankfully).

Finale near wrecked me, but in a good way, and I actually just feel like I've done myself a good service simply by watching it.

Also, Hannah Waddingham is super awesome. I urge everyone to watch her appearance on QI (particularly the XL/extended version), because she was fucking hilarious and that's what initially spurred my interest in actually watching the show after sitting on it for so long (was a bit behind on QI as well).

A little stressed about work and money and trying to not panic about climate change. Overall just exhausted, fending off depression as best as I can, looking for new ways to keep myself motivated and excited about life. I'm going to experiment with new recipes this weekend.

Last week is hellish for my mental health (depressed for entire week for no reason it seems.) but this week is pretty good! I get thing done, I feel better and enjoying my day so far! I hope you all have a good week or at least thing will get better soon!

Not great, work is dumb and micromanaging is a pain

Half good, half bad.

Let's start for the bad:

• It's been a week since I stopped taking melatonin before going to sleep. I reach my dreamworld as easily as with the pill, but somehow my sleep is light and I wake up earlier... and I feel sleepy along the day.

• Sometimes I feel like I need to things I did when I wasn't medicated. Like learning this or that language because yes. And giving up shortly after because yes.

Now, the good news:

• I met a woman (transgender) on a dating app. Although she only writes me once per day, while I'm sleeping, we're talking for 5 days already. She seems legit. But given my previous bad experiences dating women from other countries online (again, when I wasn't diagnosed), I've some concerns: Will she want a LDR? How long will it last? ...?

I’m at my grandma’s right now (in vacation). It’s been fun since 3 weeks. But I got so many projects to finish with friends, there’s this very mysterious military abandoned building we need to explore, etc… and I really want to see them before we get back to class.

Next year will be a hell, I won’t probably even be with them but I have to cope last year of high school.

I’m kinda depressed of being stuck here, I just wish I could explore the city for abandoned places… or anything to do.

I started doing philosophy, thinking when I’m not programming to get out of my depressed mind.

Send help lol