Almost got away with it too until she found the receipt. Learned that day to never commit a major crime and then attempt to cover my tracks cause I'll definitely get caught.

[–] doingless@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago (2 children)

That's pretty rookie. Always destroy all evidence. It's like crime 101

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Well I have ADHD so I lost the receipt without realizing it, and then forgot that I didn't get rid of it.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@literature.cafe 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Relatable.

I also avoid lying because I'll forget the lies

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 5 points 10 months ago

I only lie if I can George Coztanza myself into believing it, so that it is no longer a lie.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 9 points 10 months ago

Or don't create it. You don't need invoicing or books for an illegal business. Just have a rough idea of what your going to make and make sure you're close at the end of the month. Bookkeeping is just evidence for the prosecution. Its their job to figure out how long you've been in the game. The less they know the better your parole.

[–] z500@startrek.website 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Delightfully devilish!

[–] stoi@lemm.ee 5 points 10 months ago

Seymour

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago (3 children)

That sounds delightfully devilish.

[–] pancakes@sh.itjust.works 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Just be cautious of aurora borealis.

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

At this time of year?

[–] Glytch@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

At this time of day?

[–] pero@lemm.ee 2 points 10 months ago

Concentrated entirely within this image?

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Ho ho ho ho!

[–] ArtVandelay@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

They did it on season two of HBOs Vice Principals

[–] jerrythegenius@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Steamed hams but it's sorted by phoneme

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 7 points 10 months ago

I would if it came with a free aurora borealis at this time of year, in this part of the country, localized entirely within my kitchen.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Whenever there's leftover pizza to reheat, on top I'll put chopped shallots that were soaked in olive oil, prosciutto, ultra-thin slices of fresh serrano chilies. If I have it, sometimes I'll substitute the prosciutto with thinly-sliced hard salami.
In a way, that's taking fast food and making it into my own thing.

Sometimes I'll bring a burger and fiddle with it the same way, like putting sharp cheddar on it and melting it at a low temperature on the toaster/oven. At the fast food place, I ask them to hold the condiments, so the bread doesn't get soggy before that.

If it's a more upscale burger - higher quality meat - I ask them to hold the tomato and onion, at home I'll substitute with yellow heirloom tomatoes with a spoonful of the shallots heaped on top.
Or I'll caramelize a full onion and put that in instead.

To top it all off, recently my wife pickled a large jar of sliced yellow beets.

[–] glizzyguzzler@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 10 months ago

Would you disguise your bespoke fast food burger as your own cooking tho??

[–] huquad@lemmy.ml 4 points 10 months ago

Did this to a guy to get him to try whataburger and admit it's good.

[–] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

Yes I would

[–] Melkath@kbin.social 2 points 10 months ago

I know this reference meme