this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
1255 points (97.9% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26792 readers
3866 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] devious@lemmy.world 67 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have done this, and the only thing I regretted is not eating more olives.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I run out of olives, then tell myself not to do it, but still sneak a sip of juice from the jar.

"You're disgusting."

"DON'T YOU JUDGE ME, ME!"

[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Fun fact - a sip or two of pickle juice is a great cure for heartburn. I don’t even like pickles, but I’ll do it because it works.

I can’t stand olives, even more than I dislike pickles, so idk if olive juice would do the same, but it is, at least, not grosser from an objective view 😅

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Drinking pickle juice is a dangerous game. Misjudge your jar tilt and one of those slippery bois will just shoot down your gullet and shuffle you off this mortal coil in the blink of a cucumber.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] fprawn@lemmy.world 45 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Had this for dinner last night. Paired it with some tortilla chips to help round out its nutritional value. Might do it again tonight. It's called The Mediterranean Diet.

[–] Ddhuud@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It tastes like the Mediterranean too!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] 5redie8@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Me eating an entire can of chickpeas with a spoon

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] Ghoti_@lemmy.world 34 points 1 year ago

I am Italian and I approve this message

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 32 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I don't see how this is a shitpost, it's just unironically a great thing to do.

[–] ninakuup21@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How much did big olive pay you to say this

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 29 points 1 year ago

I'd love to eat big olive

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah, they're delicious, nutritious, and never go bad. Perfect for the man who does not like grocery shopping.

Are the haters imagining people eating the super-salty pimiento olives? I'm talking about the fancy olives that I, as a sophisticated and wealthy bachelor, buy per-pound from the grocery-store salad bar.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE OLIVES JUST SHOVE THEM INTO MY MOUTH OM NOM NOM OH GOD THEY'RE DELICIOUS SO TASTY MMMMMMM GOOD OLIVES NICE OLIVES CHOP THEM UP AND PUT THEM ON PIZZA AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE OLIVES THEN FUCK YOU OLIVES ARE DELICIOUS YOU CAN FUCK OFF BACK TO BIG LINGUINI TRYING TO RUIN THE NAME OF DELICIOUS OLIVES THEY ARE MY LIGHT AND JOY OLIVES ARE SO GOOD I CANNOT HELP MYSELF I WILL EAT ONE OR TWO OR A THOUSAND I AM BECOME OLIVE

[–] Monologue@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 year ago

i'm starting to think that you might like olives

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] CapnAssHolo@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm not falling for this. I think I've read a greentext about doing this and the anon ended up covered in shit sobbing himself to sleep on the bathroom floor

[–] Mikekm@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (5 children)

People get sick from eating olives? Man I can eat a jar of green olives, pair it with a brick of cheddar cheese and you've got yourself a meal.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Hyperi0n@lemmy.film 9 points 1 year ago

That was a jar of pickles and it caused him great gastrointestinal issues that resulted in acid like bowel movement.

This reaction isn't normal though.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] thedarkfly@feddit.nl 18 points 1 year ago (6 children)

If you have the occasion, try a fresh olive picked from the three. You won't regret it ;)

[–] Risk@feddit.uk 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Why not eat the other too?

[–] EphTen@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

This won reply is my favorite.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] havid_dume@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

About 3 months ago I suddenly developed an indefatigable craving for olives. Since then I've eaten about a small jar a week. IDK if I'm pregnant (seems unlikely) or if olives are just a normal part of adulthood, similar to how everyone in college eats a lot of toast on occasion.

[–] doot@social.bug.expert 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

tempted to post the classic 4chan pickle story

[–] Marrenia@lemmy.world 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] angelsomething@lemmy.one 18 points 1 year ago (11 children)

Literally my kids everyday. They fucking LOVE olives. It’s weird. We don’t encourage it and we tell ourselves it’s a phase that will eventually wear off.

It won't. I'm in my late 30s and olives are still the fucking best thing ever.

[–] Amir@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago

I'm 23 now and olives are still hard drugs to me, once I get started I want to eat the entire stash

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

My mother tells me my uncle would eat nothing but olives for about a year when he was a toddler. He threw a massive fit if they tried to feed him anything else.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] HiddenLayer5@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

How many olives should you eat?

Olive them.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] fritobugger2017@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Marinate them in a bit of vodka for a relaxing evening repast

[–] XEAL@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Fun fact: olives are technically fruit.

[–] VindictiveJudge@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

More fun facts: tomatoes and pineapples are berries.

[–] UnknownQuantity@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, pineapple is a bunch of berries fused together.

Unrelated : avocado is a berry.

[–] Captainappropriate@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Subscribed to fruit and berry facts

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Aagje_D_Vogel@feddit.nl 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, ate a (large) bunch of green olives in quick succession once. Turned my stomach into Vesuvius during Pompeï's final moments.

[–] Chunk@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sometimes when I'm backed up having a way to clear the pipes is nice. There are few things I enjoy more than a blast from the ass.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean, I'll happily eat 10 olives as part of a salad, or 20 straight-up as a snack. You've gotta rinse them off first, though. Also, the cheap brands are less oily and salty.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 9 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Rinse them? I spear them right out of the jar. I love 'em. I'll try rinsing one today to see what that's like, but I suspect the oil and salt is a big part of why I like them.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] 30isthenew29@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Please🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 Where is Olivehate when I need them??????

[–] space_gecko@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Boooo

Long live the Olive! Glory to the Olive empire!

[–] Mr_Pap_Shmear@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

I have never in my life seen soo much unequivocally olive positivity. What is this place

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I came across The Sad Bastard Cookbook on HN. It is amazing and very much in the spirit of this post.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Imgonnatrythis@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Right out of the jar with your fingers? Wtf?

[–] Streetdog@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

It's definitely more sane to do it with your toes!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] victron@lemm.ee 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Today's been an enlightening day, I learned people like to eat tons of olives alone. I can't even stand them in pizza.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] octoperson@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

Are you 30 to 50 feral hogs?

[–] sveltetsunami@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Girl dinner! Girl dinner!

load more comments
view more: next ›