cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/1852371

I ended up opening up to ten books and reading them for a few days (going one by one by one and then back again, trying to repeat the process).

Then asked myself "What am I doing?"

I was trying to be productive now that I don't have a job, but I realized that I'm almost done with university and have an internship now; I'm already focused on those two things and was just trying to make up for "free time." I mean, what the hell... I didn't have to make myself "more productive" but here I am.

I also decided to stop another activity of mine that I was practicing 'cause, again, I felt I needed to do it rather than wanting to do it.

A YouTube video that inspired me was here, btw. But it wasn't the only inspiration. Just a creeping realization among other things.

In the end, I got overwhelmed and realized I didn't want to do... any of these things. There were only two books that I wanted to read immediately anyways and the rest I could save for later if I wanted to get to them. I told some friends and I now know someone who admitted to trying to read up to twenty (I'm guessing by going through each one and then back again each week). I'm not judging, but now I know how extreme things can get.

And here I was being against "required reading" (which I kinda still am as I believe, outside of a few classics and fundamental material, Marxists should read whatever the hell they want, and even then, I'm pretty lax about that rule).

Welp, that's all.

How are you all doing this week?