this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 134 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Remember six feet for covid, Nine for Nuclear.

[–] adj16@lemmy.world 55 points 9 months ago

Six for Sneeze, Nine for Nuke

[–] Hotdogman@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Don't forget to stop, drop and roll.

[–] LostWon@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I thought it was "duck, and cover"

[–] Hotdogman@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

Duck and cover are for tsunami's.

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[–] Gott@lemmy.world 126 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You wouldn't suffer any long term effects from the blast at that distance.

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[–] Rolder@reddthat.com 71 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You either want to be close enough for instant death or far enough to be mostly unaffected. The middle ground where you die slowly from cancer or get crushed by debris or something would suck

[–] YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The burns and your body turning into soup from radiation is the real terrible part.

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[–] InfiniWheel@lemmy.one 45 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Well, getting instantly vaporized is safer than getting hit by debris or getting all types of cancer at once.

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[–] vrighter@discuss.tchncs.de 44 points 9 months ago (6 children)

you have to stay 9 feet away as the shockwave expands. That's the trick

[–] PopcornTin@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

The shockwave will help keep you safe by moving you another 500 away from the epicenter.

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[–] Ultraviolet@lemmy.world 40 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

Google's featured snippet thing is not only a bad feature, it's actively causing harm. It's extremely unreliable, but people who aren't tech literate, which is most people, think "well it's Google, so it must be right." Sometimes it's obviously wrong in a funny way, but more often, it's doing something like parroting dangerous medical misinformation. To make things worse, it's very likely to answer a question, which is the search form preferred by the technologically illiterate, with a yes. I would go so far as to say they should be sued for gross negligence for implementing it. It's killed people, when antivaxxers say they "did their own research", there's a good chance it was a Google featured snippet reinforcing their claim.

[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 24 points 9 months ago

Sorry, you're not wrong about the misinformation and how removal from context can change the meaning of the he snippet. This is just my favourite.

[–] kilgore_trout@feddit.it 8 points 9 months ago

It's going to be more and more unreliable as the results it's snipping from are increasingly machine-generated.

[–] ImFresh3x@sh.itjust.works 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

This is true.

But this screenshot is old if even real. I googled it and the snippet was much more realistic and detailed.

More to your point::

One snippet I recently saw that was wrong was the result for ‘population of Gaza.’ It showed the population of Gaza city, which is tiny fraction of Gaza.

[–] DaCrazyJamez@sh.itjust.works 30 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Yes, but what is the distance from the blast to perfectly cook a frozen pizza?

[–] MeatPilot@lemmy.world 48 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Sometimes you can find instructions for different ways to cook a pizza on the back of the box. For example I checked mine and underneath airfry and oven instructions there was instructions for "nuclear blast"...

Nuclear Blast

Remove pizza from all packaging and shrink wrap. Be sure to remove and discard the cardboard tray.

Place pizza on metal baking tray within a clear path of the blast source. Do not use glass cookware as it might shatter.

About 5 miles out from the blast source. Find a sturdy structure, like a rock deeply embedded into the ground.

Place pizza on the tray and tilt tray to a 45 degree angle on the rock. Angling toward the blast to evenly cook.

Bake for 5secs for 15 kiloton yield atomic bombs or until pizza is golden brown. Grab pizza and run to shelter before the shockwave hits. If the shockwave hits your pizza it will disintegrate.

All atomic bombs cook differently, so be sure to keep an eye on your pizza as it cooks. Pizza is done when the cheese is melted and edges are golden brown.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago

Damn, my nuclear bomb is only 8 kiloton and I never know how to convert.

[–] GreenSkree@lemmy.world 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Pretty sure this isn't real guys. There's no "Do not thaw pizza" clause.

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[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] Copythis@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] Kase@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

For the uninformed:

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[–] OpenStars@startrek.website 29 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 28 points 9 months ago (6 children)

Artifical Idiot still fits. The question is, why we invent an artifical idiot having too much of the real ones.

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 15 points 9 months ago

There is a reason, antennas that are searching for intelligent life are directed away from earth

[–] joyjoy@lemm.ee 8 points 9 months ago

They were right. They'll always make a better idiot.

[–] MEATPANTS@lemmy.world 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Because this is an idiot you don't have to pay to do his job

[–] EuroNutellaMan@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

wdym, there's already a subscription fee for the less idiotic idiot

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[–] EuroNutellaMan@lemmy.world 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] zaphod@feddit.de 7 points 9 months ago (4 children)
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[–] WereCat@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago

I was told that when you see a nuclear explosion then you should carefully observe it because you'll never see anything like it again in your life.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 23 points 9 months ago

This must be the "dangerous misinformation" I keep hearing about.

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 19 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Just stay inside a refrigerator and you will be OK 👍

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[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 19 points 9 months ago (3 children)
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[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 16 points 9 months ago

Sarah Connor already told us how to prepare:

"Anybody not wearing two million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day"

[–] init@lemmy.ml 15 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I mean, maybe if it's a really, really small nuclear explosion

[–] 7heo@lemmy.ml 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Nah. There are now three sets of imperial units: UK, US, and U235.

[–] Contramuffin@lemmy.world 14 points 9 months ago

Well for what it's worth, it didn't specify that it's 9 feet from the blast center. If we define the blast by its radius of safety, then staying that distance plus 9 feet will, in fact, keep you safe

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 10 points 9 months ago

Time is relative so this is technically true

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago
[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 8 points 9 months ago

Thanks ChatGPT

[–] Maultasche@feddit.de 8 points 9 months ago

Or hide in a fridge.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago

"The ~~goggles~~ sunglasses, they do nothing!"

[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago (4 children)

Wait, does it have to be exactly 9 feet?

Of course. An inch in either direction would be extremely dangerous.

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[–] xta@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

what PF 🧴 should also get?

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[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

Been eating paint chips all my life for this moment

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