this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 267 points 9 months ago (15 children)

no nagging for a week

Wow, there’s just so much to unpack from just that sentence, let alone the chart.

[–] taanegl@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago (11 children)

Look at his eyes, and look at his face... this is the trained male.

Long have nation states and governments tried to break the male, to wrangle the male into a submissive state, but none are more successful than the woman sociopath.

The female sociopath is in many ways addicted to control. Her one impulse to anything the male does is how she can turn it into her advantage, to control the male entirely.

Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs, so it's up to him wether or not the pain and degradation is worth it. 4/10 males say it is.

Look at his eyes. He's truly worked for this.

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 7 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs

Honestly that's a 50/50 shot between fierce and dead fish. I have proclivity for crazy, and a good half the time it's all for show and a real disappointment at game time. That all said, always test drive the car before signing the paperwork.

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[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 67 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I'm glad everyone finds it weird and gross, but I'm also amused at how many people don't know this is a five year old joke from a mommy blogger at this point.

Never actually real, just meant to make people who were currently dealing with sticker boards and feeling weird about it chuckle.

[–] The_Lopen@sh.itjust.works 23 points 9 months ago

I'm appalled that you actually expect me to do research on memes and not accept them at face value. Leave my propaganda addled mind in peace dammit.

[–] JDubbleu@programming.dev 11 points 9 months ago (4 children)

It honestly blows my mind how many people on Lemmy are completely incapable of interpreting sarcasm. I know Poe's Law and all that, but this is pretty clearly a joke.

[–] iAmTheTot@kbin.social 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

We live in a post Trump presidency, post Covid mandates world. Nothing is pretty clearly a joke anymore.

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[–] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 45 points 9 months ago (15 children)

No nagging for a week

This woman must be horribly annoying

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[–] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 44 points 9 months ago

He realized after putting the seat down three times the nagging wasn't going to stop anyway.

[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 35 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Step 1: drink water

Step 2: piss

Step 3: put seat down

Step 4: repeat 5 more times

Step 5: wait till I'm nagged

Step 6: remind her of the toilet seat

Step 7: continue ignoring child's needs

Step 8: ignore feelings of depression and ruminate about how fucked my life is

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemm.ee 24 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Holy fucking shit his face...

This woman is the epitome of the scorecard partner.

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[–] Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world 24 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

It's fake, Its a crooked depiction of a toxic relationship which is fucked up, I know, but why would a guy need to be reminded to clean up, or care for their children?

I see everyone is quick to jump on the domestic abuse hate train, but if you are a guy and not doing these things in a relationship you are just as fucked up as this imaginary psycho partner.

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[–] Napain@lemmy.ml 22 points 9 months ago (4 children)

No we aren't 😞

[–] TseseJuer@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

do gays not give bjs after a certain amount of gold stars?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

How exactly do the gays transact for sex with their spouses? Like, do they pick one who will withold sex from the other until chores are done? Or do they swap roles monthly? How do they decide which one will be the begger and which one will grudgingly submit to their clumsy, sweaty defilement?

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[–] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

He's gonna give her the blow job

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[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 15 points 9 months ago

Yeah this looks like a horrible couple photo about 3 months before the inevitable divorce.

[–] Stanwich@lemmy.world 15 points 9 months ago

She's gonna be pissed when the curtie next door is going down on him. He's just gonna point to the chart. Doesn't say who from?

[–] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Why'd they Photoshop her eye upside-down into his left eye?

[–] 567PrimeMover@kbin.social 6 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Good catch, that's really weird. They must be trying to enhance the battered spouse look because that guys looks like he had his soul sucked out through his nose after enduring a 10 round prize fight

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[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 12 points 9 months ago (3 children)
[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 11 points 9 months ago

My kids would absolutely put “BJs” as a reward in my sticker chart.

But to them, BJs is the store I buy paper goods, frozen foods, and non-perishables at. I love that place.

[–] doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 9 months ago

Presumably his wife made it. Hopefully as a joke.

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[–] Fades@lemmy.world 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Speak to your partner adult to adult? Nahh, I’ll just treat my husband like another child!

I know it’s rage bait but this shit does happen and it’s cringe as hell

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[–] EmergMemeHologram@startrek.website 11 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

This image is a fractal of red flags. It's almost art.

"I won't donate your favourite put stained shirt"

What the fuck? One, it's a dick move to dispose of his stuff, and two, why are you donating garbage? Does she think the poor want to buy stained clothes? It's like that Seinfeld muffin bottom scene.

Just all of this is awful.

Edit: how far does the "get out of the dog house free" card go?

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[–] BeefPiano@lemmy.world 10 points 9 months ago (22 children)

“Get out of the dog house card” isn’t going to work the way either of them think. Pulling that card when you’re in the doghouse is not going to make her fine with whatever upset her. There’s a good chance she’ll say she’s “fine” because she doesn’t want to renege on her chart, but whatever conflict isn’t going to resolve itself because he gave her that card.

Trading sex for chores is gross. I don’t want a BJ or lap-dance from a partner that is only doing it because the sticker chart says she has to.

It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad. You don’t get an award for doing the bare minimum!

Both of these people are demonstrating the emotional intelligence of a block of cheese.

[–] LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 9 months ago (7 children)

This isn't real. This can't be real.

Can it?

[–] THEDAEMON@lemmy.ml 4 points 9 months ago

Sweet sweet summer child.

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[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)
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[–] MaoZedongers@lemmy.today 8 points 9 months ago

That's fucking horrifying.

How many stickers to get his soul back?

[–] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

If my girl whips out a chart like this, I don't care if we're 20 years together and married, your boy is gonna go get milk.

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[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 7 points 9 months ago

How many stickers do I get for painting the ceiling?

[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 9 months ago

Bolemia for BJs.

[–] Ethalis@jlai.lu 5 points 9 months ago

That is the face of a man 1 BJ away from passing out

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 5 points 9 months ago

As a frequent visitor of faproulette.co, this is probably the least sexy game I've seen.

[–] THEDAEMON@lemmy.ml 5 points 9 months ago

They both have an almost inhumane look fits their actions/personality i guess.

[–] wowwoweowza@lemmy.ml 4 points 9 months ago

Feeds dog chocolate every single day!

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