Ask Lemmy

Generally speaking, consideration for others is inversely proportional to the desperation of a given community. Think about how hard people have to work these days and still can't afford a decent place to live and food to eat. It makes perfect sense that someone who feels that the system is keeping them down, and wearing them to the bone won't be conscientious of how their actions will affect others. That mixed with Western ideals of extreme individualism, and a political climate that promotes divisiveness, it's truly a wonder that anyone has any consideration at all for their fellow countrymen.

My spouse and I talk about this often. A very obvious example is how rude (and recklessly dangerous) people are while driving. And myriad minor things out in public in general. No sense of community and a complete lack of consideration for others is the new normal. It got worse during and after the pandemic.

Our communities have been destroyed by this cult of hyper-individualism.

The shopping cart test for a community. Or seeing trash on the ground in public places, tells you alot about a area.

The golden rule: do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Culture is learned from your peer group. Feeling a investmemt in your environment and a sense of ownership in it's condition change behavior. "This is our public park, so I won't littler", vs "This is their public park so I don't have to clean up".

I just want to live in a nice world, so I treat my world nice. Even when nobody is looking.

I don't know, but I just spent two days at an amusement park, so I'm in the sort of mood where I hate all people everywhere.

Like why the fuck are you just standing in the middle of a walkway? No, your group of 20 can't jump the line to catch up with the one 6 year old who's been alone for an hour. And double fuck everyone in the wave pool.

Paying taxes is one way of doing this, and man, people are really hellbent on trying to avoid that.

I don't know if it's actually real but I feel like since Corona and the Lockdowns many people are even nastier than before.

My husband and I discuss this regularly. The loss of the social contract.

It is so sad to see so many people respond with "not my responsibility." Why isn't it? If you want to be a part of society then it is your responsibility. Part of being "civilized" is the strongest helping the weakest and most vulnerable. Our truest measure as humans is how we treat those who need the most.

Bringing other people up to a dignified level increases your value, not decreases. It doesn't take away from you to let others have dignity and respect.

Unfortunately, there are lots of situations in life where being a piece of shit gets you rewards.

That person cutting you off in traffic, grabbing the last item on the shelf when you were there first, cutting in line, cheating on their taxes, stealing the job you were in line to get, along with the infinite examples of this in the business and political world.

The vast vast majority of assholes never face real consequences, and those consequences rarely outweigh the benefits they’ve enjoyed from being an asshole.

I don't know that I'd call it 'apparent'.

My interactions with people in my life are, by and large, very decent. Social media amplifies the bad actors and makes the problematic things seem more widespread than they are, but in fact, it's just an algorithm grabbing the same content you've had your eyeballs on consistently and feeding you more of it. That creates the illusion that the problem you're hearing about is worse than it may be.

I will say, though, that I've become more of a fan of massive retaliation when I do run into people who lack basic politeness. If I'm in the gym and someone's playing music on speakerphone, I will work out near them and turn on the loudest metal track in my playlist at full volume. I keep a stick of gel deodorant in my car to use on the door handles of people who park rudely, and if someone is speaking to another person rudely in my presence I always say something. I try not to answer rudeness for rudeness to a person's face, because just asking "Why would you speak to someone that way?" is usually more effective for defusing people than escalating aggression. (But you get my drift)

As an American: "How will my choices affect the people around me in this moment?" Is almost comical to see.

Most ~~assholes~~ of my fellow Americans think "That nosey sonofabitch needs to get out of my way! I want to light fireworks off at 4am how dare he say I shouldn't! FREEDUMB!"

I used to live behind a gas station. 3am and almost every shithead going get gas had their subwoofers set to "shatter windows a mile away"

Everyone in this thread is ignoring all of the invisible things we do everyday as part of the social contract:

-Every time someone stops at a red light

-Every time we accept a piece of paper and in return render some service or surrender some treasure

-Every person waiting in line everywhere

-Every person who pays taxes

-Every time we go to the grocery store and just take it for granted that there will be food at the grocery store

I get it some a-hole cut you off in traffic. But we rely on our social contract to literally stay alive. It is a miracle and the pinnacle of human achievement. Maybe just say thank you?

For me its less of a contract and more of a built-in instinct. I feel physically ill if I think I unfairly annoy or hindering someone. I dont get why others feel like its only a contract, one which they can break if they want to. But they can and I have accepted it. So I dont despair, they are only human (and so am I).

What really gets me is the little stuff.

Major asshole stuff you can just write off as that person being a cunt by nature. But the dude on the bus playing tiktoks at full volume with 0 disregard probably isn't some irredeemable asshole, he's just a normal guy that doesn't give a fuck. Same with people that put their bags on seats or park in the way of traffic, or litter etc.

What's fascinating is reading about the social contract following WW2. It seems to line up that when that generation was in charge things like CEO pay wasn't off the charts. Then the next generation it started to go up. And now the 3rd generation it's completely bonkers.

Don't discount unions though. And don't forget that black people didn't get the social contract.

I think many people just have a fundamental misunderstanding that they are indeed a part of something larger.

Some dude was chopping wood at 11 pm for at least 45 minutes at this camp site I'm occupying. I'd think that as neglect for others hahaha.

I was literally just reading about social contract theory the other day, brushing up because it's been a while since my political philosophy coursework in undergrad.

I was thinking this is definitely something everyone should brush up on, because it seems to be something many of us have forgotten about.

We live in a society, together, and give up certain freedoms in exchange for stable lifestyles lived without fear.

I think people have forgotten about everyone's individual responsibility, their mandate, to uphold their part of this social contract. I think people have forgotten what shame is.

Great post.

The Evolution of Trust

You only feel bound by the social contract of the community / communities of which you actually feel part in your day to day. The one-two punch of neoliberal hyper-individualism (and the associated deliberate deconstruction of community) and online communities of special interests leads to people walking about a shared world with widely disparate senses of what their 'social contract' stipulates.

People are appearently thinking it's normal now to have loud long phonecalls or screaming conversations in public transport, so... Yeah I've noticed.

It's about trust. In a low trust society people show no regard for the society as a whole and will only act in their own interest.

There are various reasons why people loose any sense of belonging to a society, but the outcomes are always the same and you will see what you are describing.

I wanna say today it's mainly caused by inequality and cronyism that's been skyrocketing over the last 50 years.

Inequality at the levels we're at destroys society from multiple angles, from making life completely unaffordable, to making dating harder to making different demographics blame each other for all the problems.

If you don't feel your investment into the society is reciprocated, then you feel no need to follow any of its rules or make any sacrifices for it.

Yes.

I remember years ago, meeting some Ayn Rand fans, and many of us who knew them considered them deluded and selfish. I remember the despair I felt when drump’s election proved that the deluded and selfish had increased and risen. And then the pandemic shone a spotlight on just how many had become proud of their delusion and selfishness. And yes, I sometimes get very depressed about this, but find ways to see the good and positive, and continue to hope.

Not enough people were taught that they should treat other people how they, themselves, would like to be treated.

Well, it’s that or they just have zero self-respect.

Answering the title: yes. All the fucking time.

One of the little things that annoy me to hell and back is the "lack of decency" from marketing companies that robocall you nonstop. Knowing that someone is profitting off my (and millions') misery makes it even more infuriating.

Then there's the actually small, dumb stuff that people also insist, like refusing to get out of the way and thinking -you- are wrong for wanting to get past them. In a fucking public space that their fat ass is almost fully blocking.