Ask Lemmy

I was having lunch in the break room on the 23rd floor, vaguely watching the world go by. Two blocks away, a car drove up to the top level of a parking garage, a bunch of guys got out, and cut through the chain link fence separating the garage building from the roof of the building next door. “Well, that’s unusual behaviour “, I thought, and kept watching. When they moved over to that roof and started to break in to the rooftop door, I realised that it was the bank down the street. Called the cops and gave them a running commentary. Eventually when they showed up I got to see the tussle between the cops and the bad guys on the roof. Felt like a tv show.

Not from my office window per se, but on my way into work I saw the second plane hit the World Trade Center. That was weird and messed me up for a bit.

The weirdest one was probably back in March/April of 2020 when we were in a total covid lockdown, and an ice cream truck - completely alone on the street and the only vehicle seen for days - slowly drove by while playing Christmas music. That was some Twilight Zone shit.

Our open office of five desks and 3-5 people was on the second floor; right outside our office was a short hall of 3 individual offices, but the people in the offices were often out of the office. We'd mostly all worked together for years by then, got along well, and were pretty informal.

We had an absolutely wonderful (if slightly ditzy) girl named Chrissy join the office one summer, fresh out of high school. She liked to dress up very stylishly - not like office wear, but like a popular cheerleader might wear to class, if that makes sense?

Anyway, we're in the office one day, and Chrissy ducks out, then comes back in like one minute later, face absolutely flaming red. We ask what's wrong and she could only stammer in response. She eventually got herself under control and said:

She'd stepped out to run some papers downstairs and, as she left the office, she felt her pantyhose start to sag, so she quickly ducked into one of the side offices, pulled up her skirt, and pulled her hose back up to the top of her thighs. When she looked up, there was a window-washer hanging off the side of the building, slowly and calmly wiping his squeegee back and forth across the window, looking directly at her and smiling kindly. She stared at him, mouth open, while he continued his slow, calm, almost meditative squgeeing across the window. As soon as her mind processed "unexpected man outside second floor window", she bolted back to us.

It was literally like something directly out of a sitcom.

To protect everyone involved, this may or may not have happened ;)

Was working interstate at a new location for a few weeks. I didn't know the area well enough and got caught up with traffic and lack of parking on my first day, so was late. No major issue but I knew I would have to come in earlier to avoid that in future. I started coming in at 630 because I am an early riser and my contract had me doing longer hours than the workers. I could be early and still in the office before everyone left at the end of the day.

Across the alley was another older office building that I noticed I could see clearly into an office, just above the desk area. On my first day I watched this older male manager hold meetings and so on. Nothing interesting.

On my second day, just before 7am, I watched this much younger woman appear in his office and undo her blouse before going to town on this guy. Kneeling behind his desk, head bobbing like a chicken eating feed. 5 mins later he must have been done as she wipes him down and they both straighten themselves up.

I then proceeded to notice her coming in and out of his office all day for meetings so I assume it was his secretary or assistant. Nothing else of that nature happened again throughout the day.

Next day, same thing. And it carried on every day of my 3 week contract.

You guys have office windows?

Woman across the way chatting to somebody and randomly exposes her breasts. The person she was talking to said, "whoa, that man might see!" (I don't think this was even a reference to me as I was at a weird angle and don't think I was visible). She got them out some more and shouted something about getting a good look at them. I'd backed away more by this point.

(I have an even more X rated one, maybe later)

I worked in an office tower across the street from a hotel. I was directly flashed twice and saw 4-5 couples going at it over a few years, one of which was the woman nude, pressed against the window, getting it from her friend from behind. That was a nice show.

A possibly unhoused woman who was most certainly under the influence of something, squat and take a dump on the sidewalk across the street from my office building right next to another office building. Proceeded to remove a shoe and sock to wipe with the sock. Then put her shoe back on and stumbled on her way.

Not office, but one time I was at the grocery store getting ready to buy my lunch and happened to look in a car next to me. There was a completely naked college age chick in the passenger seat casually smoking a cigarette. She saw me glance at her and rolled her eyes. Is being completely naked in a car in a public place normal or something? I made every effort not to stare, and she was gone when I gone when I got back.

I worked at a mental health inpatient facility. I ended up having a cig or two with a client. He'd casually tell me about the Bible and would ask if I've read it.

Eventually these talks turned into him casually mentioning that he was pretty sure he was Jesus.

Fast forward a few months and dude was outside in a Banana suit screaming at the top of his lungs that he was God. The cops came and hauled him away. Never saw him again. My office window faced the main parking lot, so I saw the whole thing.

Never did learn why he was in a banana suit. The story is stupid enough that I'd never expect anyone to believe me, but you asked...

Went up to a conference room on the third floor for some peace and quiet. I'm just sitting there typing away when KABOOOOOOOOMMMMMM an explosion rang out that shook the whole building. I ran over to the window to see big plumes of black smoke billowing from what used to be a dumpster full of scrap metal.

Some guy at the junk yard next door was trying to compress the contents of the dumpster with an excavator and somehow managed to ignite the contents of a [not empty] propane tank. Poor guy in the excavator just sat there for a minute looking like he was still absorbing what had just happened. He was fine other than probably needing a change of underwear. Fire department showed up a few minutes later and put it out.

Not out of my office, but right in front of it while my team was coming back from lunch. A woman was hit by a truck and we blocked the road + stayed with her until the paramedics came & took her to the hospital. I have no idea what happened to her afterward - it's one of those things that I occasionally remember and wish her well.

From my apartment: rioting + National Guard during the aftermath of the George Floyd shooting.

Mexicans, breaking down that wall, in Switzerland.

This albino squirrel.

I saw a homeless woman grab a garden hose from the building next door, turn it on, strip down naked, and proceed to take a shower right there on the sidewalk. She then got dressed, went down the street, and got into an argument with an empty car that was parked.

And it wasn’t through my window, but we also had a lady come inside our building looking to pay her electric bill. She was wearing a winter coat in the dead of summer. It was unzipped, and it was the only bit of clothing she was wearing.

We are not the electric company, not that she would have been able to pay any bills with the gas station rewards card she had anyway.

My mom coming to give me some lunch.

Sorry guys, Monty Python beat us all at this game

If strange things seen while walking my dog apply, I have plenty of stories to tell.