this post was submitted on 25 Nov 2023
96 points (100.0% liked)

the_dunk_tank

15914 readers
12 users here now

It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to !shitreactionariessay@lemmygrad.ml

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

founded 4 years ago
MODERATORS
 

michael-laugh trump-anguish

top 47 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 59 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Folks, the bourgeois, they're no good. Everyone is saying it. All these workers— very handsome workers, we have the biggest, the best workers— they come up to me and say Comrade Trump there is a specter haunting Europe, and you know what? They're right. These bourgeois are very nasty people— very very rude, and very unfair to the workers. They are stealing our surplus value, and no one is doing anything about it! The proletariat comes up to me every day and says, Comrade Trump will you lead the revolution? And I gotta turn to them and say, look, the instruments of capitalism will be used to bring about its destruction— believe me. The means of production, Obama never wanted to seize them. Well guess what? I'm seizing them. Landlords? They're done for, folks. Everyone told me, they said Comrade Trump you won't be the vanguard of the revolution— and they would laugh, the media laughed, the democrats laughed. Guess who's laughing now?

[–] confusedbytheBasics@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is very well done Trump-speak and strangely didn't make me cringe. I guess the policies are more important than the way they are communicated

[–] emizeko@hexbear.net 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Folks, what we did in 1917–the Revolution we call it, with a capital R— it's never been done before. So many big beautiful red flags, you couldn't even— now that, folks, that's a flag we stand up for, we don't kneel for our terrific red flag— that you couldn't even see the Winter Palace. You know the Mensheviks, and Renegade Kautsky, they said we couldn't do it! They said, "Oh, Vlad, the material conditions are bad, we have to have a bourgeois republic to develop the forces of production." You know what that means, right? Semi-feudal economy! Well, look at where we are now, Julius. We are going to develop the forces of production so fast it'll make your head spin. We are going to do in a generation what it took them many, many years to do.

We're bringing back bread, folks! And not just bread, but peace too— and you know, the Left-SRs, they're very nasty to me about Brest-Litovsk, they say I make bad deals with the Germans, even though, nobody does treaties better than me, and the Germans are tough, but when they deal with me they know my reputation, they know I make the best deals, and you know, many people in Germany, they say they want Lenin too! Little pickelhaub man is scared, because he knows that we have built an incredible movement, and we are gonna have world revolution, the biggest revolution anyone has ever had. But, still, you know, the fake bourgeois media, the white guards, they say "He colluded with the Germans, he got on the train, did this did that"— and they're just crazed. They are really crazed. Right. And we can't just let that happen, because there's nothing to do with Germany, nothing at all. Total witch hunt. Very unfair.

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 58 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] CrushKillDestroySwag@hexbear.net 49 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Proof that it doesn't matter how many times you denounce Communism, they'll call you a dirty commie anyway.

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 18 points 11 months ago

Salami tactics, baby

[–] Sacred_Excrement@hexbear.net 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Anticommunist 'leftists' never learn

To a lot of liberals, it doesn't matter if you're an inch to the left of the 'acceptable discourse' or 2 million miles, you'll always be a tankie to them anyway

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Chomsky's been pretty fucking cool recently what with working closely with Vijay Prashad on a tonne of stuff. They've basically decided he's as bad as all MLs now, especially because he does work with one.

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I like how they don’t denounce him because he’s a possible sex pest but because he doesn’t like the state department skmetimes

[–] The_Grinch@hexbear.net 38 points 11 months ago (3 children)

They're saying "tankies and right-wing grifters such as..." Donald Trump being the latter. They are calling Chomsky a "tankie" thought which is funny.

[–] Owl@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What if they're calling Chomsky a right-wing grifter.

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

also calling someone who became president of the US a "grifter" is pretty funny michael-laugh

[–] GarbageShoot@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

He used it as a platform to sell NFTs after, so it's not entirely wrong

[–] The_Grinch@hexbear.net 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

And don't forget the BEANS bean

Most based thing he ever did.

[–] ComradeCmdrPiggy@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago

Username checks out, why must you ruin our fun?

[–] kleeon@hexbear.net 37 points 11 months ago

what if putin unleashes cthulhu upon ukraine? would you guys condemn that?

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 36 points 11 months ago

There's something really interesting happening in their brain here!

They assume they'd get to react. They assume that they are some kind of ghostly observer that exists outside of the world and can just frictionlessly react to events as they happen, because that's been their entire life and how they've always engaged with politics.

In reality, if one nuke goes off they all do. That's what M.A.D. is all about. Asking "how would they react?" is detached from reality.

[–] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 35 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Positively turgid over the thought of a nuclear strike so they could make a bunch of smuglord reddit posts about how they knew Putler was just as evil as they'd claimed all along.

[–] Spongebobsquarejuche@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

And somehow Putin is a communist?

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 23 points 11 months ago

Everyone knows that Russians are ethnically communist

[–] BeanBoy@hexbear.net 35 points 11 months ago

ITT we see reddit-logo users make r/worldnews fanfic

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 32 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

They've been gaslighted to the point they were distracted by how much Trump removed the barriers and threw open the doors to these wars.

All the protective treaties to prevent another arms race were removed.

Funding for new nuke development with media paid to talk down the consequences of "tactical nukes".

Sending Bolton to tell Putin no more peace.

But yeah he was a real Putin Puppet. putin-wink

[–] Parsani@hexbear.net 32 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Professor Chomsky, welcome to the resistance

[–] BeamBrain@hexbear.net 30 points 11 months ago (1 children)

tankies

Ian Miles Chong

Total failure to understand what makes someone a communist, or cynical attempt to smear communists by associating them with bigots and white supremacists?

[–] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 24 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I'm just gonna assume for my own sanity that "tankies and grifters" means one or the other, and Cheong is definitely a grifter.

[–] robinn_IV@hexbear.net 29 points 11 months ago

This is like those evangelical Christians fantasizing about the rapture happening and finally proving everyone wrong.

[–] LeZero@hexbear.net 27 points 11 months ago

react to Putin becoming the next death, destroyer of worlds

Note, the former and only so far death, destroyer of world was a European scientist funded by US tax dollars

[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The biggest example of capitalist nepotism and corruption is a communist? A man that, if we lived in a true meritocracy, would be a complete nobody? A man who owns one of the most famous private capitalist business empires of the 80s?

Libs stop blaming the failures of capitalism on communism challenge (impossible)

[–] Torenico@hexbear.net 20 points 11 months ago

Why would Putler use a nuke? Because he's winning?

[–] ComradeCmdrPiggy@hexbear.net 19 points 11 months ago
[–] Utter_Karate@hexbear.net 19 points 11 months ago

I'm pretty sure Chomsky was born during the era of primitive communism.

[–] CrimsonSage@hexbear.net 17 points 11 months ago

This person is incredibly dim.

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Posts that make me rub my eyes in exasperation.

[–] M68040@hexbear.net 14 points 11 months ago

Is this person trying to piss off literally everyone

[–] WholeEnchilada@hexbear.net 13 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Evidently, for this internet rando, Trump isn’t right-wing enough. That’s something important to note because in the Fediverse sooooo many people lazily throw the “tankie” word around in posts and threads. “So-and-so is a tankie,” and “that instance is run by tankies “ yadda yadda. Left wingers are much more numerous in their fantasy than reality because the right-wingers far outnumber the leftists and the leftists are scary to them. This is why they try to poo-poo us any chance they get in the fediverse. Only place you’ll find criticism of their wanton ignorance is right here.

[–] LordBullingdon@hexbear.net 3 points 11 months ago

It’s like real life wasn’t interesting enough for them so they all just decided they live in some kind of alt history world where they can justifiably indulge their anxieties

[–] AOCapitulator@hexbear.net 12 points 11 months ago
[–] LemonGrease@hexbear.net 9 points 11 months ago

TANKIE CHOMSKY

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 7 points 11 months ago

Lumping together Ian Miles Chungus and Noam Chomsky is crazy

[–] Redcuban1959@hexbear.net 6 points 11 months ago

Comrade Trump 07

[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 4 points 11 months ago

These are the people that think political streamers are intelligent after they repeatedly show how little they know. It's safe to just ignore them because in thirty years they'll be the new crop of disgruntled elders watching OAN and whining about the kids all being non-binary.