When a woman turns 30, she enters a chrysalis to begin her metamorphosis from "teen" to "milf".

 lmao look at this old mf

I don't get older. I just get hotter every year. I'm projecting that by 80, I will be the hottest woman to have ever lived

People hit "old" at different times. Tim Rogers had an anecdote in one of his video reviews where he was talking about his two co-workers at Sony Entertainment Japan that were around the same age - one was cool AF and doing gigs in a jazz fusion band and the other was a boomer.

I gotta say that having a kid definitely speeds up the aging process a bit. All that extra responsibility tacked on at once is some "weeks where decades happen" shit lol.

I've lived through so many weeks where decades happen that I'm now approximately 240 years old

I'm in this weird limbo where my whole body aches but I still get carded buying alcohol

I've been Old since I was 25 and lost my hair

All jokes aside, wholesome post 

I’m a not at all secret third thing

Middle aged

(I’m 40)

Oldness can come in big lurches. I suddenly went from being carded for alcohol every time to maybe 2 times a year. During the last 20 months I added 1:30 to my mile time, my cognitive activities decreased significantly, I lost a 3" patch of hair off the top of my head and the rest thinned 75%. I have to stop myself from telling my adult kid to make sure they're getting regular sleep whenever they tell me they've been up late studying. I haven't been asked by a stranger if I have any weed for several years.

No I literally woke up one day and looked in the mirror and saw 

Age is just a number until you look up a condition you have and the internet is all "primarily affects middle-aged . . ." and that's when you become old. That and realizing that they're playing "Complicated" at the grocery store because you're the target demographic and it's on the oldies station meant for you and will stay there for as long as stores can play music at people.

At 33 I feel much younger than at 23.

based post

death to the Internet

death to social media

Death to America

Tell that to my knees

speak for yourself. My hair all turned grey and I started using a walking stick, wearing robes, and a wide-brimmed hat everywhere literally overnight.

There was literally a 1 year period where i went from "young" to "okd". Like in 2016 i was young and virile and then the next day i woke up and it was 2023 and i was old. And it'll happen to you!

it probably feels that way because our lives have been so commodified

I feel like I've aged 20 years in the last four. I'm so fucking tired.

You are not a "boomer" if you aren't in your twenties.

tru ur a boomer as soon as u hit 20

My knees hurt, my kidney stones are acting up again, the image of that guy in the mirror is like a badly cut hair loss commercial, the damn kids bug me with thier minecraft every day but suuuure tell me again how age is just a number and it's the internet memes that make me feel bad Mr. Chapo.

Turning 40 really is like hitting a brick wall. You stumble, remember how easy it was to smoke a blunt, drink some beers and then go for a run the next morning just 10 years ago. And you can see where it's all gonna end up just 10 years from now. Fuck.

I'm already dead but my body disagrees. 🤷‍♀️

There is that beach that makes you old

Im 32 and i'm fuckin old i got old man hip problems, hair going white, ear and nose hair going crazy

but I can also row 1500 strokes in 30 minutes at max resistance on the ol' rower so don't fuck with me youngins

ok boomer

Disagree. I instantly became an angry old man at like, 27

no, i'm old, it's joever

Then why do old men and babies look so similar:


But what if I want the senior discount at IHOP???

i've been old man since i was young boy.


but why seek you me?
met you your match?
met you your match...
with the eaters of the dead?

also being old isn't bad or a mark on your character it literally just happens to everyone that lives a long time