this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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Stormed off after scolding the cashier for “supporting Uighur genocide” after they wouldn’t help him find one made in Taiwan

Are the liberals ok? Are they flooding the streets after reddit took their apps away? This behavior used to be confined to terminally online losers

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[–] ShimmeringKoi@hexbear.net 94 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

If I saw that in real life i might still refuse to believe it

[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 72 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

Yea it's super jarring the first time. Mine was at brunch with 4 others and they made fun of me because I had a Xiaomi phone and one said "You must like SpyOS eh?" 💀

[–] Wheaties@hexbear.net 55 points 1 year ago (3 children)

You can choose a phone that spies on you for an agency on another continent, an ocean away; or a phone that spies for an agency with direct jurisdiction where you live. :edgeworth-shrug:

i mean, that'd be a snappy reply, but really the spying comes down to the cell towers you're pinging, not the make or model of phone.

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[–] LaGG_3@hexbear.net 49 points 1 year ago (3 children)

brunch

wtyp

spoilerI miss having the disposable cash to frequently eat out on weekends lol.


[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This is homophobic you can't attack brunch like that (I hate brunch)

[–] GriffithDidNothingWrong@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Cantaloupes are liberalism

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cantaloupes do not deserve such slander

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[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Same. Brunch just hits different.

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[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago

"No no, it's not an Apple"

[–] VILenin@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

Ask them if they’ve tried suing the state department for unpaid labor

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

My reply to this was "I'm a true centrist, I give both sides a crack at my personal info."

[–] Frogmanfromlake@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm very thankful I don't live in a NATO country where this shit seems to be extremely prevalent. Most of our phones are bootlegs to begin with lol

[–] GaveUp@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's not NATO/West, just USA and a tiny bit Canada

Americans straight up talk shit, Canadians I can tell kinda look disappointed/down on me, and Europeans will be like "hell yea I loved my OnePlus/Huawei phone, it was amazing"

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When a grillman on the bus was so mad that the bus was late when he got on that he out loud declared that the bus should be further privatized to "straighten things out" it seemed like a fictional moment even as it happened in front of me.

[–] Judge_Jury@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Feels like when my aunt told me the US' recidivism rate was only so high because we don't punish hard enough wut

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Very common "law and order" boomer take. yea

[–] VILenin@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago

Yeah, American prisons are famous for their luxury accommodations and gourmet meals. Just yesterday I murdered eleventy billion precious white children just so I could stay at the five star prison for a while.

Unfortunately the court only sentenced me to 10 minutes in prison because the judges and DAs love criminals like me and refuse to enforce the law, which is why America has the lowest incarceration rate in the world.

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[–] Frank@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago

I would doubt my own reality and retreat in to the belief that i'm part of some bad podcasts comedy bit.

[–] boiledfrog@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

It feels so fucking weird when your average boomer uncle starts repeating the most online bullshit ever, it's pretty scary tbh.

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[–] Cummunism@hexbear.net 62 points 1 year ago (2 children)

lol i hope this is real. If they mention Uighurs they are definitely lib, a conservative would just be raging about China in general cause they took our jerbs

[–] VILenin@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago

It was some cracker wonk.

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Please don't laugh. My dad was a line supervisor at Detroit Wok Works before he was laid off and they shipped his job overseas.

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[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 59 points 1 year ago (1 children)

God, working as a cashier sucks. Imagine having to put up with that shit every day for minimum wage

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 58 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh it does and it did

My favorite bit of feedback was the survey where they said I was "Too polite. Seemed fake."

You can't win pain

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 48 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My silliest negative mystery shopper report said I was "too professional."

what-the-hell

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Mystery shoppers get sent to the gulag after the revolution. Seriously, they're some of the biggest assholes.

[–] uralsolo@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I did it a couple times and they blacklisted me for giving everyone a perfect rating lmao.

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago

You shouldn't have filed that sales form in triplicate and had them wait for a notary to witness the sale

It was just some potato salad

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 56 points 1 year ago

Screaming at a cashier because of decisions made 40 years ago at the executive level is the most liberal shit

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

r/politics has broken the containment field and is seeping into real life.

[–] corgiwithalaptop@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I remember a poster here like just last week saying "do people REALLY act like r/politics users do out in the real world?"

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[–] CliffordBigRedDog@hexbear.net 42 points 1 year ago (2 children)

A kinda related story: i was visiting a place in Fujian Close to Taiwan and visited a factory making pots, pans and woks and according to the tour guide there they got their start from turning scrap metal from artillery shells fired over by the KMT into pots and pans

[–] OgdenTO@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Really gives the green beans some zing!

[–] envis10n@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

homer voice ooooOOOOooooo

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[–] aebletrae@hexbear.net 36 points 1 year ago

Bonus points if the wok came from the "Republic of China".

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My favorite moment behind the register came when CVS stopped selling cigarettes

This happened because they weren't making enough money to justify selling them, but they spun it as if it was for our benefit because they cared so much about our health (keep in mind that CVS singles out "Patients of Greatest Need" i.e. sufferers of chronic illnesses and overcharged them, because they knew they could never stop taking their medications)

I had so many libs congratulating me and Chuds scolding me over a two week period, I almost fuckin' quit right there

[–] envis10n@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago

They replaced the Walgreens vape section with liquor here. Because THAT is healthy compared to those JUUL pods

[–] FuckyWucky@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

covid messed with their brains

[–] Frank@hexbear.net 53 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Covid, lead, microplastics, toxoplasmosis, aquanet, the magic blue smoke, vaping, car exhaust, ligma. There's so much shit floating around in the standard anthropomorphic brain volume it's a wonder the boundaries of the noosphere haven't broken down entirely.

[–] JuryNullification@hexbear.net 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thankfully I’ve been taking nootropics I bought on ~~Infowars~~ Joe Rogan's website.

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 32 points 1 year ago

alex-no-supplements Before MaxForce Plus

alex-supplements After MaxForce Plus

[–] judgeholden@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] Wertheimer@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I used to live near a food co-op that published a newsletter with a consistently hilarious Suggestions section. Once someone wrote in furious that the bell peppers came from China, and they ended their letter with "Nothing good has ever come from China!" The Co-op replied that bell peppers were in season in China, but not here, and that they strongly disagreed with the assertion. But I do wonder if they'd push back as hard now that the atmosphere has only been growing more hostile in the last ten years or so.

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[–] Tachanka@hexbear.net 29 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

in 2000 America imported 6.38% of its total imports from China, in 2020 America imported 19.5% of its total imports from China, over a threefold increase. Setting aside the zenz question, if the US government actually cared about the treatment of Muslims in China (they don't, they just got done bombing Muslim countries for 20 years), they would have to decouple the American economy from the Chinese economy as quickly as possible with a general boycott of Chinese goods. But we all know that's not gonna happen, lol. People like that baffle me not just because of their unhinged reactionary politics, but because of their ludicrous idealism: They they think they can turn the ocean yellow by pissing in it.

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[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 28 points 1 year ago

I hate the government, not the people. That's why I refuse to buy cookware made by the people.

[–] Rojo27@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago

Ugh... reminds me of working in electronic retail. The amount of people whining about stuff being made in China was just tiring.

[–] kfc@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

The year is 2032. A dimming sun rises over America as Biden is elected for his 4th term, celebrating with a psychic speech from his golden throne. "Student loan interest rates will now be tripled." Young 50-60 year old libs cheer in celebration as they storm retirement homes and smash chinaware and burn anything even tangentially silk related. Undersea mechanopensionists in Florida plan their fascist takeover of DC at their local Denny's. It is a new day, same as the last.

[–] duderium@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago

You hate China, yet everything you possess was made in China. Checkmate, liberal.

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