this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2025

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How come only weirdos want to be my friend? Is it because I have ADHD? (lemmings.world)

submitted 1 week ago by CatDemons4@lemmings.world to c/neurodivergent

30 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I’m a girl with ADHD, depression, and anger issues. I like to consider myself pretty fashionable and good at sports, but my only friends are weirdos?

This one girl I’m friends with has a really bad stutter and autism, for example, and I think it’s weird. She also doesn’t like sports like I do.

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[–] Majorllama@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You sound absolutely miserable to be around. "Normal" people don't tend to enjoy being referred to as weirdos if they think they are your friend.

Reading the post and your comments I am gonna guess it has more to do with how you talk down to people.

[–] CatDemons4@lemmings.world 0 points 1 day ago

I was feeling miserable at the time, that’s for sure. Also, that makes complete sense, I think I get it

[–] gid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Weirdos will be the most interesting people you meet. They'll introduce you to things you never imagined.

Embrace them.

[–] AuroraGlamour@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

As a fellow nerdy weirdo, I can vouch for this. We’re usually very kind-hearted and we don’t bite! 🙃

[–] gid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I feel like this post might unintentionally become a place for well-meaning weirdos to reach out and introduce themselves to each other 😆

Hi! I'm gid. Nice to meet you, fellow weirdo!

[–] AuroraGlamour@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago

Nice to meet you too, gid!

[–] charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

Literally, just run up and bear hug them

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Is it maybe because you consider your friends to be weird, so nobody wants that level of judgement when they join your friendship circle?

To hamfistedly adapt an oft-quoted phrase: "if all the people that want to be your friend are weirdos, then maybe you're the weirdo".

That said, I'm taking the view that you're here for a constructive opinion and not just for a kicking, and I'm aware of the sensitivities around the nature of this community - so have you considered being more of what you want to see in others? Positivity and personality focus are super attractive qualities (in a platonic way) and by bigging up your friends positive traits rather than ragging on their own little annoyances makes you more of an attractive person to befriend.

[+] CatDemons4@lemmings.world -6 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I don’t like that they’re bad at sports. I’m better than them, and I don’t even play sports. My friends always pass the ball to the next person open, which happens to be their friend, so I think they’re targeting me.

They hardly ever pass the ball to me when I can shoot some awesome hoops!

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

If it wasn't for the last line, I'd have sworn you were Stuart Hogg with a secret Lemmy account.

In all seriousness though, when you talk during the game or afterwards, what is the outcome when you ask why they overlook you as a recipient for a pass?

To address your initial friendship issue, maybe it's time to join a sports team that allows you to develop even more and exposes you to more friendship opportunities?

[–] CatDemons4@lemmings.world 0 points 1 week ago

I’ll try to join a more advanced team, thanks!

[–] CatDemons4@lemmings.world -4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They say it’s because I’m usually not open (I tend to hide behind the other players and not be open but it still pisses me off). They also say I’m a bad sport for calling them useless pieces of crap all the time, and I even got kicked off the team for a while because I told the truth?

Being honest, I will always think other people are terrible, and it makes me mad, but there’s nothing I can do. I guess I’ll just stay that way.

[–] gedhrel@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If you tend to hide, not be available to receive a pass, and not help in a team sport, then you need to reevaluate your level of ability.

[–] CatDemons4@lemmings.world 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I’m very good at sports when I can be. Usually when I “hide”, it’s because these tall women are blocking me. (I’m 5’7 but they are 5’9, even 5’11) I can shoot some awesome hoops, I just refuse to help useless people who aren’t as good as me when I actually care about the game. In this case, people are tools made to complete the goal of a game. If the tools are broken, why use them?

[–] gedhrel@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's a team sport. You're not a team player. Don't stand there like a lump, "hiding". Create pressure, opportunity, and space for your teammates. The goal of the game is not for you to score. The goal of the game is for your team to score.

You sound like a broken tool.

[–] CatDemons4@lemmings.world 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If my team were better at strategy, I’d be less mad

[–] gedhrel@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Then help. If you see the problem, help provide the fix. Enthusiasm, energy, and skill raises everyone's game. Whining just compounds the issue.

[–] CatDemons4@lemmings.world 1 points 1 day ago

I’m pretty enthusiastic and energetic, or all of those really, I make easy wins, and I like to say “Oh yeah! I won!!” and point to myself.

[–] Mister_Feeny@fedia.io 7 points 1 week ago (2 children)

They also say I’m a bad sport for calling them useless pieces of crap all the time

I remember one time someone stole the ball from my friend so I called my friend helpless and useless.

This is some jerky ass behavior here, and I wouldn't want to be friends with the person calling me useless either.

[–] CatDemons4@lemmings.world -5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I view people as more tools than anything, and I’m working on being nicer. I say this with 100% honesty, not because I’m being mean. I still feel like I deserve friends, though. This one girl joins right in with me because I do, even though she’s nice when I’m not with her. Am I perhaps a bad influence on her?

[–] gid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 week ago

As someone who loved basketball, I get how this can be frustrating.

All I can offer is that they might find different aspects of the sport fun than you do: for them it might be more about feeding the ball to their friend to reinforce trust and solidarity with them.

[–] jatone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

😂 young weirdos are adorable. Steal the ball during the pass and say 'nice pass'!

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Have you considered that you also might be weird?

[–] CatDemons4@lemmings.world 3 points 1 week ago

Maybe so, I’m an anime lover and K-pop stan with ADHD

[–] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Cuz you're a weirdo, probably.

I mean, you're posting on Lemmy so the odds are pretty high, anyway.

[–] forrgott@lemm.ee 8 points 1 week ago

The advantage to being a, shall we say, 'colorful' individual us precisely the ability to meet other colorful people. (In this context, I just mean interesting people, just to be clear.)

Don't forget, there is no 'normal' that needs to be adhered to; frankly, I think many non-neurodivergent individuals only programmed themselves that way cause they're afraid of being "different". But, if you're no different than me, who the hell am I? Who are you? It makes no sense.

Anyway, I just want to encourage you to try to find joy in having "weird" friends...if you can. What better way to enrich your own perspective on life, after all?

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago

I'm autistic and dealt with depression and I talk to 0 normal people outside of work. Literally none.