I cannot get into Lemmy. It was just endless wars about who was federated with who.
Honestly, this gave me some trepidation when I first got here too. When you're checking out a list of servers, you're going by the descriptions written on the page. There's no footnotes about the little wars and name calling that on about this.
So someone is going to sign up on ml because it says it's focused on software dev and FOSS, then encounter people who judge them based on the fucking url after their username rather than the content of their posts. And I'm still not completely on board with the conversations and memes that perpetuate this.
When I got here and caught wind of this stuff, I actually questioned if I was even in the right place. That stuff is not attractive to new users who are just getting started up. It makes it seem like this platform is a minefield that you need to tiptoe around when you're seeing it for the first time.
This place has a few problems IMO. Not just the UX but also a lot of the users, I'm afraid to say. For example, in my first week here I saw another new user arrive and make a post in one of the ask communities asking if there is a gen z space. And this person didn't get an answer to their question but instead got a bunch of angry sounding snarky snark from people going "who cares about labels? I just came here and made the effort of typing this comment to show you how little I care. Because that's how cool I am."
And I've been seeing it all the time, to be honest. People here seem to struggle with the concept of just scrolling past something that doesn't interest them and they just have to stop by to tell anyone how stupid they think their interests are. And that's in addition to new users feeling like they need to tiptoe around instance wars. And that's after making the effort of trying to get started on a new, confusing (at first) platform.
So I'd love to see this place grow personally. But the longer I'm here, the more I have my doubts that it will happen. Honestly if another alternative popped up using the Bluesky protocol, I'd probably check it out in hopes that there's more women around who allowed to exist and in hopes that the general populace is a little more friendly as far as people's interests and likes and dislikes go.